hi! I was wondering how dirty rush works at smu? how do actives decide who to reach out to before rush? is it bad if no one reaches out to me? everyone else I know was in contact with a lot of sorority girls before rush but I wasn’t. I heard people dmed pnms over the summer but I don’t know why no one reached out to me. Am I supposed to reach out to them? also how do you know if you’re being actually dirty rushed and they want you in their sorority or if they are just hanging out with you because they have to and instead actually don’t want you in their sorority?
It sounds like Rush didn’t work out as you hoped and I’m sorry about that. Although I wasn’t in a sorority I know it can be super stressful. As you know, primary recruitment has already happened. There may be some options for informal recruitment in the spring. Based on your prior post, I think you are a sophomore? Even if you don’t end up in a sorority hopefully you’ll have an opportunity to find your people on campus. Not everyone is in a sorority, and even for those who are it doesn’t have to be the only avenue for making friends.
I know you asked how dirty rush works, and I’m no expert but…what exactly do you want to know? It’s definitely true that sororities at a lot of schools start looking for PNM long before formal recruitment starts. Some have parties where their current members invite girls they know who are seniors in high school to parties on campus to get to know them ahead of recruitment. I’m not sure if that is considered “dirty rush” or not, since it is before recruitment starts. I think all of them look in advance at social media accounts for girls who register for recruitment. I know there are rules about not promising bids, and not being in contact during formal recruitment except at formal events. I’m sure some follow the rules more closely than others.
Dirty Rush is Not allowed at any school
Sorority members cannot give you gifts during rush , say see you tomorrow or next round, see you on bid day, promise you a bid etc
That being said your friends may be friends with girls in sororities, However once formal rush starts they can not talk about rush or the sorority
Most schools have severe consequences for breaking these rules
SMU has deferred primary rush in January. Although there are pros in that girls have a chance to get used to school, and to meet various different people - the downside is a whole semester of gossiping, and the kind of anxiety the OP is experiencing about no sorority members wanting to get to know her in advance.
I have no idea if it’s normal or allowed, but those Reddit sites I mentioned will have people who know more.
This is true people break rules or Laws daily
However, this " Dirty Rush" is the exception.
She needs to trust the process it works the vast majority of the time
I know Formal recruitment can be very stressful, but go in with an open mind and give each house a chance and Stay away from sites like GreekRank
Also, Girls lie, so and so sorority wants me etc. Wait to recruitment starts I got the max number of houses each round etc.
Finally, my Daughter is in a sorority at a SEC school Currently
So we’ve been through this process pretty recently
She asked if she is supposed to reach out to actives (future tense) so it sounds like she’s still looking for a sorority home. But I’m just inferring that from her questions.
If she’s still looking for a COB
We need to hear back from OP
If she received a bid and didn’t take she has to wait a year
However if she did not receive a bid
Yes, reach out to VP of Recruitment from the houses you want and let them know you loved the house during recruitment etc and you are looking for a COB, Continuous open bidding.
You may have to wait for Spring informal recruitment if no houses have COB this fall
I’m a sophomore and can’t rush until the next formal recruitment. I know there isn’t really much I can do at this point but I’m just curious as to how the whole process works. I just feel like I was out of the loop and came into the process blind by not realizing that sorority girls already know who they want before rush starts. Especially last year when rush was in the Spring because I know many people had girls reaching out to them but no one reached out to me so I’m just curious if there was anything I could’ve done or if it was all just predetermined. I know that girls were going out weekly with sorority girls and going on a lot of rush dates but I had a hard time meeting them. I feel like I made a good impression on the girls I met too which is why I’m confused. Most people I know were already reached out to, especially if they’re from the same area, even if they don’t know each other beforehand. I didn’t know anyone before coming to smu but I live by an area where a lot of people go to smu. I went to philanthropy events but it felt like everyone just talked to people they knew already so it was hard to talk to and get to know the actives. I also know they tend to rush friend groups but I don’t have one so I definitely think that made my situation so much harder, especially when finding out about the dirty rush process, when sorority events are, and when frat parties are. I’m just curious how most pnms got to know sorority girls and got on their radar before rush because it seems like majority of girls were dirty rushed and understood the whole process. In the moment I thought I was dirty rushed but looking back I realized I wasn’t. Was I supposed to reach out to sorority girls? I didn’t do that because I thought there were rules of what I could and couldn’t do because dirty rush isn’t allowed and I was worried about getting the girls in trouble and hurting my chances.
How are pnms supposed to find out about those sorority events and get invited to meet the girls? I feel like I make a good first impression but I found it challenging to find and put myself in situations where I could actually talk to the sorority girls before rush. Other girls seemed very private about who was rushing them since it’s so competitive here so I couldn’t really compare my experiences to others.
It’s also hard too because as pnms we’re told to trust the process and keep and open mind but the sororities already know who they want and will cut you just because they don’t know you. I feel like that’s unfair because not everyone is given the opportunity to meet sorority girls and the whole point of joining sororities is to have a community in college and meet people. It’s really frustrating because I feel like you need connections in order to get in, which is understandable but also doesn’t give girls who are amazing people and want to be very involved in their sorority a chance.
SMU will be having Informal recruitment in the spring
All chapters may not be participating depending if they are at quota
I would still reach out to chapters you felt a connection with, to their VP of recruiting or membership and tell them how you loved the house and can see yourself there and ask if they are having COB this fall
You can email Panhellenic to find out more info on COB this fall
Continuous Open Bidding
Continuous Open Bidding is the process by which Panhellenic organizations continue to extend bids during an informal recruiting process in both the spring and fall semester to eligible students.
Panhellenic will share information regarding any groups participating after formal recruitment concludes during the fall semester, and during the first week of classes in the spring semester. Panhellenic will not have information regarding which groups will participate before these designated times.
I would still reach out to them to at least show an interest. Also, if they are doing Spring informal rush this can help keep your name fresh on their list
Have you ruled out houses you would not accept a bid from