<p>For those who haven’t followed sistersunies’ devasting loss of her husband “this sucks monkey butt…”, and for all of those who have…</p>
<p>It’s been just a month since his death. Last week someone asked her how she was doing, she said, OK, and they responded “come on its been weeks, arent you over this yet?” </p>
<p>Although my response would have probably been a string of obscenities and a slap in the face, she was speechless (ok, I would have been too.)</p>
<p>Since there’s a lot of STUPID people in the world, and she’s likely to have one of them say something similar to her again, let’s build a list of possible comebacks she can say!!!</p>
<p>O-M-G! Someone said that?!? I haven’t followed that thread. I so would have slapped the person.</p>
<p>SnarkRUs.</p>
<p>“I’m not sure what your relationship is with your dw/dh, but “Bob” and I loved each other, and, so, yes, it will take more than a few weeks to recover from this devasating loss.”</p>
<p>Sometimes, there really ARE no words. Ugh. How awful to have to hear such a thoughtless comment!</p>
<p>I don’t think something snarky would work; that would put the person on the defensive, which wouldn’t evoke a change in behavior. I think a quiet, “No” would suffice, perhaps with a followup of “We were married for x years, he was the father of my college-aged daughters, and we all miss his presence every day” would be better.</p>
<p>Or, “You are fortunate to have never lost someone you loved, for if you had, you would know that grieving is not a short process.” </p>
<p>But silence works, too; that is not a question deserves an answer.</p>
<p>A while back our local paper ran a multi-part story on a man whose daughter murdered his wife and sons (tried to kill him, too). It was quite a story, but what stuck with me is that *he remarried **eight months *after the murders. If he re-married eight months after an event more horrific than most of us can imagine, he had to have started dating just a few months after the event.</p>
<p>I know a lady whose sister died of cancer. At the one year anniversary of her death, the sister organized a get together for friends, family and caregivers. The deceased’s widower called to ask if it was okay to bring his wife.</p>
<p>Two of my retired law partners lost their wives of many many years and each remarried within six months.</p>
<p>I’m posting these stories to say that some people move on really fast…I’m not saying it’s right or healthy…I always think it’s guys who want sex or need someone to take care of them…</p>
<p>^^^missypie, that’s got to be people who view other people only as useful to themselves. Not as people to be valued in their own context. The examples you cite make me think of someone who lost their housekeeper and was quickly able to find another. Not like a relationship.</p>
<p>VeryHappy, while I can’t understand how people move on so fast, I also cannot judge them. Some people need someone so bad that they have to fill that hole quickly. Not everyone is strong enough to be on their own. I’ve known several divorced and widowed people and they all said (men & women) that what they really miss is companionship- someone to talk to. </p>
<p>But back to the OP- what a horrible comment that person made- how immature.</p>
<p>The only thing I can think of is that this was someone’s idea of a very, very, very (VERY) bad “joke.” So hard to believe that anyone would say this and mean it literally. HighlandMom, I will have to remember that one!</p>
<p>A couple years ago I was horribly insulted by two women (also having to do with insensitivity at the death of my family member). Just today I thought of what I should have said:</p>
<p>“A pox on both your houses . . .” </p>
<p>They wouldn’t have gotten it, but, honestly, if I could have put a curse on them, I would have at that moment.
Some people are just clueless. There is no explanation for it other than sheer stupidity.</p>