Care packages don’t have to be snacks or useless trinkets , not that there is anything wrong with snack and useless trinkets. My sister sent my daughter an LLBean shirt. I sent my kids and niece and nephew halloween tins from the Popcorn Factory; just go online, order, and it’s shipped directly. Sometimes I put them together myself and to one I sent long underwear, a bra, a coffee mug, a new toothbrush, socks, underwear, and yes, useless trinkets like a glow stick wand and stickers - she and her roommate were most excited about the wands. Sometimes I go to an online store like Ulta and send shampoo, make up, lotions, and as long as you spend $50, shipping is free. I would never do the commercial packages the university offers. The alum group of my sorority does a ‘study kit’ parents of students can buy and it is rather lame, but it is a fund raiser for the group so some parents buy them. I just wouldn’t because it is easier and cheaper to do my own. And fun.
When I was in college, I lived for the cards from my grandfather as he usually included $10. That was enough for me to go skiing for the day, or to a concert (yes, I’m ancient). Kids like to get stuff in the mail, even stuff they could just go buy themselves. My roommate’s mother was the real Santa Claus. She sent care packages all the time, filled with homemade cookies (no peanut butter though), snacks, and popcorn. We all loved her.
big hits- I used harry and david 3 month fruits a few times for my vegetarian D - and cookies I made. also target tiaras and bunny ears at easter. be sure to send extras as both D’s friends loved them.
I have sent a specific brand and variety of salsa to my older daughter several times. The jars are heavy and have to be packed carefully but she has been very grateful.
When I was in college a million years ago, my mother, who was suffering greatly both emotionally and financially, would tuck a dollar bill in every letter, card, or packet of forwarded mail. I called it “financial aid,” and it meant a lot to me. Even then, a dollar didn’t buy much, but every little bit helped, and it was her quiet an thoughtful way of doing what she could.
When I was in college, I frequented one of those coffee vending machines where the little cup dropped down and the coffee squirted into it. I can’t remember how much it cost but probably 15-25 cents. By the end of the month, I had run out of money completely so couldn’t get my coffee fix. I went to my mailbox between classes and my mom had sent me a letter, and in it was all the change she had in her purse. Probably less than a dollar, but I was so excited to get it!
I had a little moment yesterday. I got into the car to run a few errands and what comes on the radio but the song that was the very first cover that S’s very first band did in 7th grade . . . Blink 182 All The Small Things. I felt sick to my stomach deep in the pit and found myself crying in the car in the Ross parking lot. It totally took my by surprise. I mad e it through 2 errands then back in the car and on comes a song that S considers our “car music” . . . Smashmouth All Star . . . and I lost it again. There was a period of years in elementary school where we did a lot of hiking and “excursions” around the area. The kids were old enough to be and have fun with it and young enough to go where I said we were going and not have their own agenda yet. We had a few standard car CDs - Smashmouth, Barenaked Ladies, Elvis Costello, Paul Simon, Talking Heads and more that were upbeat and everyone liked. He says they still bring back happy memories of those outings. :((
@SouthernHope please take some deep breaths and don’t panic on your D’s behalf. What she is experiencing is normal, and it is a necessary transition that will bridge her into adulthood and independence. Doesn’t mean you don’t feel icky in the pit of your stomach right now, that is normal for a parent. Just don’t play into that fear with your D. When you communicate with her, try to stay positive and encouraging. (Even if you want to drop everything and show up at her dorm room with hugs and chocolate!)
My D called crying after about 6 weeks at school. I had to will myself to stay calm and listen beyond the words she was saying. Turned out to be a crumbling of the “perfection” she struggles with. She spoke with someone on campus who encouraged D to learn to aim for a more realistic goal in work/sleep/study balance. And D seemed to grow from that meltdown and do a better job of managing her life going forward.
intparent ~ my 85 yr old Dad just sent me some underwear he bought but didn’t want w a note, if you don’t want them, pass them on. I threw them out, they were big white boxer briefs. he called a couple days later and asked about the underwear, I said, Dad I threw them out. What? you threw them out? he asked. Yeah, Dad I don’t know anyone I’m gonna give underwear to and I laughed back. He tried to laugh, but I hope he was thinking, hmmm maybe I won’t send anymore stuff I don’t want to my son. Um yeah! Gosh I love my Dad but at 56 I think I’m done with receiving underwear. Just a funny coincidence here, no msg per se.
Was driving thru our little town one day this weekend and got misty eyed. With our daughter gone we won’t have a connection to the town anymore. Not like when both kids were in school, playing sports etc. It reminded me when we were separated for 4 months 5 yrs ago and how weird it was driving thru town and how much I loved moving back home and feeling “connected” again. I know I shouldn’t rely on my kids for my place in life but I can’t help associate who “I” am with who my kids are. My greatest pride is being their Dad.
Rumrunner…I had that feeling this weekend too. Our city has this one church that is big on sports: Soccer, baseball and basketball. It’s open to everyone and is a HUGE deal. Everyone in the general vicinity has signed up their kids, doesn’t matter race or religion, to this church. Massive amount of room outside with many diamonds to play on, very well run, known throught the city. They even take their all-star baseball team to Cooperstown.
Anyway, it’s right on a major road that I travel alot. We were with both boys (taking youngest to college Wed) at the mall getting last minute stuff. As the 4 of us drove by the church, I looked at all the empty fields (will be full soon for soccer) and talked about how much I loved all those years sitting outdoors watching them play sports. We talked about it for awhile, but all I could think of was “Wasn’t I just sitting there? And it is no more”.
I’m so glad i haven’t been feeling like this all summer, but just the last 10 days. I would have been miserable.
@southernhope: Be aware that you’re D might not text you later, so you’ll spend all night worrying. Then, when you finally get ahold of her, she’s say, “Oh that? I was fine five minutes after I told you.”
Sometimes they use us just to dump on, and then they move on. We, in the meantime, continue crying in the bathroom.
@VeryHappy - I hope you are right. My D called me 2 days ago very upset (she’s starting study abroad and is so nervous)…I’ve followed up to see how she’s doing and she hasn’t responded. I’m going crazy over here! I need to know she’s doing better.
@VeryHappy - your experience was mine too. DD graduated from college in 2012 and she still uses me as a (very willing) “dumping ground” for her problems; now instead of hearing problems with classes and exams I hear about problems with coworkers and evil bosses. Same story - different verse.
I’m not really complaining, though. I enjoy hearing from her even if it’s just to commiserate and sympathize. In the beginning, it did take me a few months to realize that this was going to be a common pattern and that she was fine as soon as she finished complaining to me - she was fine, but I was an emotional mess!
@scout59 --I think they do that not to dump on us as parents, but because we have become one of their trusted friends at this point in their lives…My D still texts me several times a day about all sorts of issues…she does the same with her friends and so I feel very lucky to have this relationship…and I love the contact as I miss her like crazy (not that she needs to know that!)
