After all these years, been on CC for well over a decade (more like 15+) I wish I could could tell you it gets better. Just different. Younger son is finishing up his last year of med school (he is local, happy dance for me!) and is in the process of filling out residency apps. DREADING IT! Will more than likely go FAR FAR AWAY again.
Yep, cry every time they leave and even when they come home. Cry even harder then. I miss everyone of my five kiddos, miss them running around in their Carter’s jammies THAT NEVER WORE OUT. Miss all the football Friday night games, all the boys played every year for nine years. All the swim meets, baseball games, the HUGE dinners since they all wanted/needed to eat ALL THE TIME. At one point the house was full with 5 kiddos, 5 dogs, 2 cats and 1 bunny. The kiddos are all grown and each pet lived to a very old age, 20+ in most cases.
Talk about quiet. As a single mom I never thought it would all be so quiet, I always had so much to do.
Still waiting on granbabies, and yes when one kitten comes home or leaves I still cry like a big ole’ baby. Get better, nope.
My D has lived overseas for nearly 3 years. I haven’t seen her in 18 months. But…she’s coming home for good tomorrow! I hope I don’t cry at the airport, but I am so excited to get her back to the USA.
I wonder how my mom will be and she has Her only two going away at the same time.(twins) She got emotional today getting a new car so my sister(I don’t have my license) can have the old one.
We had a nice family dinner after we moved our son into his dorm–and I cried in the bathroom! A few years later he told me that one of his closest friends (who he hadn’t met yet) was having her goodbye family dinner in the same restaurant. I wonder if she ran into me in the bathroom. That was so long ago (2008). There will be other transitions as the parent of a young adult. But the college launch was the hardest.
I remember bursting into tears at Kroger the week before my D (my only child) left for college. I was crying because it was the “last time” I would be buying her the Jones soda she loved.
At the airport the day I left for my journey to college across the country, mama and her best friend were in tears. Fortunately the husband of mama’s friend was stone cold sober…he took 5 seconds to shake my hand, wish me well and say “get going, enjoy college. Bye.” Now that’s what I needed to hear. LOL. When we dropped off Lake Jr. a few years ago for his own Freshman adventure, Mrs. Lake was nearly inconsolable. Fortunately a counselor standing nearby embraced Mrs. Lake and told her “stop crying ma’am. We’ll take good care of him.”
UChicago had a really good send off -now 5 years ago . bagpipes, an arched entry way first years went through alone without parents, college 2nd years greeting them with open arms on the other side and ones on parents side with kleenex boxes handing out tissues. very definitive.
Graduation had same bagpipes and they walked out under the arch.
Teary eyed both times.
I do not know if my comment will make you feel better or not.
But I agree, that ALL your reasons are not real. However, if crying makes you feel better, why not cry? Cry as much as you want! Crying never makes me feel better, it makes me feel miserable and I try to not cry. People are different though. Here are my comments:
“…like why didn’t the 4 of us have a family dinner that last night instead of running around packing stuff that didn’t fit into her dorm room anyway. And why didn’t she and I see that play last year that she wanted to attend instead of me not wanting to bother with going out that night? And why didn’t I do a better job of making sure that she and her brother are closer? Does she have any raincoat at all?”
First, never ever regret about something that happened in a past. This has been one of my top “rules of life” that I communicated to my kids. The mistakes are there to learn from them, to not repeat them in a future. You cannot go back in time to reverse them, so it is a waste of emotion to ask yourself “why”.
Everybody pack more than they can possibly fit at new location, it is a fact of life, period. You are not an exception, you are just the same as everybody else.
You did not see the paly because you did not feel like going out at the time. You are also a person, we as parents have to respect our own wishes, not only wishes of our kids, there is no mistake on your part here at all.
Kids are the ones who are in a “driver seat” of choosing the college. You cannot force them one way or another. if they choose colleges far away, they had the reasons for doing so. It will work or not for each of them. They will either rip benefits of the right choice or try to adjust or even transfer. Again, you did YOUR BEST by not convincing them to attend a college of YOUR choice, you made sure that the college was decided by them. Kuddos to you, nothing to regret here.
So, please, continue crying if it makes you feel better…or stop if it does not. Again, you are doing nothing wrong, and you have done nothing wrong in a past, normal progression of life. Be proud of your kids and do not forget to be proud of yourself for everything that you have done, not only taking care of your kids but also for taking the best possible care of yourself and your spouse! Good job!
Hi folks, OP here. Just wanted to let everyone know that 1) the kid is doing great 2) I’m doing great and 3) what happens in the bathroom, stays in the bathroom. Well, except for what I tell my 5000 friends here at CC.
I cried today when we were packing her clothing. Almost everything is already packed up and will be loaded into my SUV tomorrow since we will leave at 5:30 Saturday morning . She didn’t see me since she went back into her room to pick up a few loose items. We reluctantly agreed to let her boyfriend come with us to move her in. I really was hoping to be able to let loose once we were on our way back home, but I am going to try to remain composed in front of him. I just wish she was excited , and she just isn’t….It would be so much easier if she was going in with a positive attitude
^^^Hope that goes ok @lje62. Both my D and myself felt that the night before was the worst. We too loaded the car the night before - in the morning it was just get up and go - and that felt pretty darn good! It was just time to start wondering and to GET STARTED.
Do you regret saying yes to BF coming? For her AND for you.
@evermom1, just tell yourself that he/she couldn’t call because they was busy with new friends. You wouldn’t want him or her to turn down an opportunity to make connections early on. The call will come.
