No calls are GOOD things! That means they are busy, not sitting around lonely. I can’t wait to find out what is going on with son, as he was so nervous and anxious on move-in day…but so busy yesterday that we couldn’t find time for a call. That actually made me happy and relieved.
No calls could be considered a “good” thing. But wanting to share some of those good things in a quick phone call is perfectly ok (and actually, IMO, considerate to your parent) too. I personally would not want the rigid “call me every Sunday at 5pm” - but that’s me. I’d rather get the spontaneous “guess what?!” phone call or text.
No calls are very good thing!
Sent my sophomore twin girls back this week. This year was so much easier. I havent heard much from them , just an occassional text, but that is fine.
Ex took D2 back to school yesterday. It is her senior year, time flies. They were very good at sending me pics. I will be visiting sometime this fall to see her new apartment. I don’t think it gets easier. I miss my kids every time they leave. I am secretly hoping she will be going to law school in NYC next year, so I could have her for few more years.
It really is fun to see them after college, grad school, first jobs, moves…
I really have enjoyed every age and phase!
abasket, I think for both / all of us I have regrets. My sister went thru this a few years ago with her daughter and she gave some good advice for how to handle the move with the bf. I have been holding back, at least in anyone’s presence and I just really wanted to be able to let go and feel free to cry on the way home.
^^ I fully understand that! Maybe he’ll plug in his headphones and nap and then you can feel free to cry. Best of luck!
Is it appropriate to share what I feel as a mom about my only-child leaving the nest with her? I ask because I recall having little insight or, perhaps?, interest in my own mom’s feelings about my comings and goings from the family home when I headed off to college and beyond. And, now I feel like a real sh*t for not caring more about what she might have been feeling or needing from me. And, now she’s gone, and there is no way for me to make amends. My thought is to let my daughter know what I’m feeling when the time comes next year when she starts college. But, maybe that’s not appropriate. Advice, wise ones?
Dyiu13, I’ll bet your mom chalked it up to “ignorant teen syndrome” 
- I’ll bet you were loving and concerned many other times in your relationship. No worries!
As for your daughter, I do think it’s ok to share some of your feelings. Some. If you really distraught I don’t know that I’d go out of my way to share that with a new freshman who has a lot on her plate, but it’s ok to say things like “wow, it’s weird to watch tv without you!” or on a phone call, it’s ok to say - after listening to all her news, excitement and problems - “so do you want to hear a minute of what I did today?” - helps to make the relationship not one sided AND will make your D aware that mom has needs too. My opinion is just to not overburden at the start.
@dyiu13, Well, I don’t claim to be a wise one, but I think kids know. The day before my son left, he said to me, “I’m going to miss you so much.” I told him, “And you’re the child, so imagine how I feel.” It’s okay to tell them how much you’ll miss them, but they know this because they’re going to miss you right back. My son nearly crushed me on that last hug before I left his dorm; I know it means he’s going to miss me. When he asked how I’m keeping busy and how the pets are doing; he doesn’t need to add ‘without him’. I know he knows I’m missing him.
We moved our daughter in yesterday . Overall it went well and as it turned out, we were glad to have her bf there to help. The move in times were staggered by alphabetical over and thank goodness were first. Between the four of us, we had her things unpacked and set up in less than an hour ( this is my third time up to bat, so I got it down pat by now )
Her roommate is a concern. She described herself as a neat freak , but judging by the volume of flat out junk she brought with her , some of which isn’t allowed , she is more like a hoarder with anti-bacterial gel in the convenient gallon size container.
It was a long day and we opted out of the " parent send off " I didn’t want to share my tears in the company of a crowd .
We kissed her goodbye ( I cried , so did she )
Then we let her and the bf have a few minutes alone while we walked back to our car.
The ride home was okay…we joked about the weird things her roommate brought to lighten the mood.
I know I am going to have my crying jags , but hopefully she will get adjusted and that will make me relieved
Good job lje62. The roommate sounds like a bit of a piece of work! Hope there was enough room for your D’s things!
Here’s hoping her first week is good.
Leg, with a roommate like that, I too would leave with a heavy heart. I suspect your DD is secure enough to be assertive with her.
abasket , they share the same major and I suspect that they got placed together because they hope my daughter will help her out. She is pretty advanced with her skills ( as a hearing student working in at high school level ) the roommate wasn’t aware that there is a mandatory proficiency test for placement . I have a suspicion that she is very disorganized and unprepared
1st week, I still feel twinges walking thru the grocery store and Walmart. thinking about what my kids liked to eat and what they needed for the dorms.
As the OP, wanted to let you all know that I just dropped my daughter off for Year 2…and - sure, there was a bit of sadness – but what a difference a year makes! She’s happy, i’m happy…and now I can borrow her shoes without her knowing (an unexpected silver lining of her being gone that I discovered in Year 1
Just want you all to know, it does get better.
Glad to hear it! I recall dropping number 2 off and in the hotel which was on the edge of campus in the lobby was a woman just weeping and crying. It made me feel so guilty because after raising teen age boys, I was kinda happy dropping them off at college sad to say. Love them. Missed them. But much less stressed now that they are out of the house. #3 drives away on Wednesday and I will hug him, kiss him on the cheek and be very happy to see him at the holidays!
Moved D in yesterday. Could have gone fairly quickly but we fought the loft bed and out of kilter wardrobe/closet. In the end, we won, but it wasn’t without a battle! Her room is a tiny single, but everything is put away and it looks nice. For now She’s doing fine; H left with tears.