I want to avoid lengthiness but am happy to elaborate if needed. I entered my local state school with many interests. Although I wasn’t quite sure which degree suited me best, I started in ME because I am highly capable in mathematics. With my AP credits setting me ahead, most of my classes freshman year were with older students and the assortment of over-achieving, geeky-types. I followed the heard into joining study groups, but usually just spend the time doodling and joking around. It wasn’t until the other guys struggled on a problem that I’d feel motivated, teach them the solution, and continue doodling.
When the test came around, I would get an A while my peers, who studied so hard, would usually get a low B. The more time I put into learning new material (30min - 1 hour), the slower lectures felt. Every subsequent lecture would drain my energy further and further, and it drove me crazy! To alleviate the frustration I stopped going to lectures. Soon after, I stopped doing homework because…what’s the point? I would still get A’s on exams. Then, I stopped studying until the night before exams and cram weeks of material into a 6 hours. That strategy resulted in less A’s, but I wasn’t sure how else to motivate myself.
My problem was participation, homework, and quizzes all made up for more of the grade than tests. As a result, I wasn’t accepted into the Engineering College and switched into B.S. Physics due to a lower gpa requirement of (2.0). I dropped out my senior year, feeling lost and depressed. The way my parents see it, I lacked discipline and showed blatant disrespect by not appreciating their financial support for school.
I’m stuck in a dead-end job while making efforts to teach myself different programming languages. I thought College would be a place with real challenges and high intellectual expectations. What I got was a cloud of meaningless busy work, and a system seemingly set up for those who have difficulty learning. The implemented “aids” of the curriculum would penalize me if I felt I didn’t need them. Are all schools like this?
It’s not entirely clear what your question is. It’s difficult to answer the question as to whether or not all schools are like this, because even with regard to the one you attended, it’s a matter of perception. You find the education at the institution you chose as unsatisfying, while another student at the same school does not. There’s a certain amount of education, at any level, that involves a willingness to jump through hoops to get to certain end points. I am not saying that’s good or bad, it just is a reality.
Many drop outs, including high school drop outs, are actually gifted. Taking you at your word, there may indeed have been a problem in that the college courses moved at a slower pace than you could tolerate.
However, the missing piece in your story does apply to mental health. You might consider the possibility that you have undiagnosed ADHD, making paying attention to the small particulars of college education more onerous for you. And as you said yourself, you apparently suffer from depression, which is eminently treatable. I would also note that depression can cause attention and concentration issues.
I think there are many problems with our educational systems, but many good things too. It would help if you could access whatever resources you can in order to tolerate the former and access the latter- if you ever go back.
If you don’t go back, you are in the category of “some college”. If you are indeed very bright, you may be able to parlay self-taught programming languages into a job, though you have no credentials to prove your ability. Have you considered taking programming courses, either online, at a community college, or nearby university?
I am trying to interpret your last sentences. Do you mean “aids” like lectures, quizzes, discussion? There are colleges that allow for more independent work. Look at Hampshire for instance, or Goddard, or Union Institute. Perhaps online courses (and degree) would work better because you are not trapped in a classroom and can go at your own pace.
In the meantime, a priority, in my mind, might be to meet with a psychiatrist or even a good primary MD and discuss attention issues and depression, and get some treatment.
No not all unis have the same academic environment and yes college can be a grind and the hurdle tends to come somewhere around junior year. Some kids manage to drag themselves into senior year and the carrot that drives them is getting it done and others need a break from academics. I think you need the time out and figure out what industry you want to work in and what kind of work interests you and perhaps where you want to live for a while and then go back to a different college and finish your degree. If your parents will no longer support you, wait until you are 24 and independent for financial aid. Only you can decide if you have issues that can be solved with prescribed drugs or therapy or if it just about finding a place that fulfills what you are looking for. It is not a linear process for everyone.
You come across as arrogant, condescending, above, and question a system because you didnt want to play. Just wait until you get a real job that is when the true games begin.
Therapy or drugs and regardless of choice some humble pie. Being good at math but sucking at life wont get you far!!
It sounds like you withdrew from the experience but what you needed to do was dive into it, getting involved in clubs --projects etc. that challenged you.Colleges have opportunities for research if you seek them out
I was kind of like that in high school, but grew out of it in college. You flunked out due to a poor work ethic, and your parents are rightly disappointed and annoyed. No major (or job) is all rainbows and unicorns. You can make coffee drinks for a couple of years while you decide whether you can lower yourself enough to routinely do homework and attend class.
If I were your parents, in the absence of any obvious mental health issues. I’d tell you that you are on your own financially now. Maybe that I’d be willing to pay for ONE more shot at college starting in the next 2 years if you decide to grow up enough to do the work.
Not sure that the harshness is warranted in #5. I think the OP knows he tanked his chances and is trying to figure out his next move. Not necessary to pile on.
As others have said, you need to figure out the underlying issue. Are you depressed or have a learning or focus issue? Or were you just immature and unwilling to do the work required? Your statement that nothing seemed to matter certainly points to something beyond disappointment in the college experience. Sometimes you have to slog through a bit to get to the goal (a degree and a good job). Much of college, parts of all jobs and much of life is a bit of a slog. Some classes may be of interest, but you have get through the mundane to get to the interesting.
You are not stuck in a dead-end job, as you could certainly go back and finish your degree or get a degree in another area. You could also go to a coding bootcamp or do another type of certificate program.
However, none of these will work if you don’t figure out the issues that are blocking you. Start with a therapist (and some have sliding scales for low income people or may be able to get some sessions under your or your parent’s insurance).
It is very tough for parents to see their kids throw away what the parents perceive as a great opportunity to get a college degree at very little cost to the student. Trying to understand and motivate an adult kid to finish school is very tricky and sometimes tough love or anger comes out. Talk to your parents. Tell them what you are feeling and that you want to figure this out. Give them the tools to understand you, even if the result is listening to some lectures and “shoulds”. You have your entire life ahead of you. Don’t give up now.
I agree mom2and, the harshness is NOT warranted. This happens every day on every campus to many kids and for every harsh parent poster, you could be sitting in this kid’s parents shoes for lots of reasons. There’s a reason college report 4-6 year graduation rates and that doesn’t even reflect the kids that stop and go back at 24 or 25 and finish. Just in my small social circle and including my husand I know MANY members of the circle who did not go K-12 then immediate 4 years of college in a straight path. But then I wonder if some of the harsh posters are simply “mean kids” that feel empowered by the internet to bash someone. My dearest friend got an MBA from Kellogg recently and never finished an undergraduate degree. I vote for opening our minds before we open our “mouths.”
What difference would standardized test scores have to do with how someone feels at age 20 or so as a junior? Standardized test scores have to do with high school…predicting “success” has everything to do with measuring capabilities across a very narrow scope and nothing to do with “do I want to be a chemist, do I want to be a high school teacher, do I want to be a writer” and connecting what you are studying and doing in college with the “what comes next.” Nor do test scores predict how a person will feel emotionally about the “space” they are in, physically or emotionally. Test scores, in my opinion, are meaningless after the last day of high school and tell you very little about the person. It’s a benchmark for a moment in time.
Sorry @momofthreeboys and @mom2and, but the OP’s tone does seem to warrant a the reality check that #5 provides. I see nothing in the post to indicate any kind of remorse or recognition that the OP (and only the OP) is to blame for the current situation.
Completely condescending of OP’s peers. Does this sound like the kind of person that you would want on your team at work?
So blame the college? Sorry, but this is how life works. Jobs that require college degrees (and whose pay level reflects the additional education) usually require people to work in teams and complete deliverables when due. I don’t think I’ve ever come across a job that paid someone for coming in a couple times a year and answering some questions correctly.
This post seems to be more of a bashing of the educational system than a request for help in determining their next step.
OP, clearly a 4-year college degree isn’t for you and that’s fine. If you’re ready to grow up and take accountability for yourself, I would suggest looking into some trade programs that will be more hands-on and give you exactly what you need to know to start a career that pays well. If you’re teaching yourself programming, maybe look at different IT or cybersecurity certification programs.
I’m wondering why you never took any general ed courses that weren’t covered by your AP classes?
I know that my husband, children and me were fascinated by some of the courses that were outside of the major. Those courses, in combination with the major courses kept us busy, interested and focused.
Something doesn’t fit or sound right. It doesn’t matter that you attended your instate school.
Did you take the correct courses? Did you meet with the academic advisor for the major? It sounds like you didn’t take any engineering courses and perhaps just took the preliminary math coursework.
I have 3 engineering family members in my house. They each attended different schools. Two of them were at the top 10 schools. They all had to take labs where they put into practice what they learned in the lectures. Did you not have ANY math labs that accompanied the coursework??? That would be very strange for engineering.
Is there a reason you didn’t apply for internships in your junior year? That was a requirement in engineering for my dd’s school. It was a “given” at my husband’s school and my son’s school set up the internship interviews. Going to a college, expecting the college to give you a stamp of approval, without networking in the labs and coursework, and then expecting it to not require paperwork and working with others, doesn’t work for engineering.
You didn’t get into the engineering college because you didn’t earn the grades. If you think the college gave you a lot of “busy” work, wait until you actually work in engineering. You have a lot of meetings, lots of emails about specification requirements, lots of job numbers and lots of projections.
I know that there are a number of engineering grads on this forum. They could give you a better response. @eyemgh?
No, all colleges are not like that. Each school teaches to the level of their students.
If a student attends a college where they are at the high end of the class, it is common that they do not feel as engaged and graduate at lower rates. I do agree that you may also have undiagnosed ADD. That is another possibility.
I am not sure what you want to do, but I would recommend the following:
Be evaluated for ADD, and treated if needed. This may make it much easier to stay focused.
Complete your degree and focus on raising your grades.
Take some CS courses as part of completing your degree, if possible. I recommend going deeper than learning more languages. Be sure to take Data Structures and more advanced coding courses, if you haven’t done it so far.
Sorry, but challenges don’t just drop out of the sky in college. You have to seek them out if you feel you’re not challenged. There are always opportunities for research, independent work, etc. You could talk to professors, to your academic advisor. You could have tried to transfer into another school if you had good grades. Instead, it sounds like you expected others to provide fun and challenging material for you. Maybe you do need to take a few years to grow up, find out what you really want to do and hopefully earn your way into a more challenging college environment.
I don’t think it’s harsh at all to tell the OP that he was completely undisciplined and self-destructive at his college, and that he showed very little respect for anyone – his teachers, his classmates, his parents, and ultimately himself. The solution to his problems is unlikely to be a more challenging college. He is not going to succeed anywhere if he doesn’t fix his self-destructive behaviors and negative attitude, and if he does fix them he will be capable of succeeding anywhere based on what seems to be considerable native intelligence.
I think a middle ground is possible…to be firm and truthful (like MANY posters here have done) without the snarky tone of a few. OP clearly needs a reality check, but none of us really knows everything about OP either. Is it a case of lazy entitlement or immaturity that will right itself with time, or an atypical learning style? Either way, OP will need to bend in some way to the realities of the world. But why not give a bit of a benefit of a doubt, as many (but not all) have done: A few more questions and wiggle-room before judging with a sneer?
On the other hand, maybe I’m wrong; The world is becoming more and more snarky, so mentoring that trait may be a necessary skill. (And that, I suppose is a bit of snarkiness on my part. Please forgive me. It’s something I actually feel sad about, not getting any thrill from it.) Our culture is becoming so brittle and tense, I wish for we could create a way to be honest, yet also civil. A kindly-spoken tough-love… Is that an impossible dream?
There are many times in life, not only in college, when we are faced with mundane tasks that just have to be done. In the OP’s case it was necessary to get through the classes and finish a degree in order to get a good job and move forward in life. It certainly sounds like with a modicum of effort the OP could have become an engineer. Self- motivation is part of being a mature, responsible adult and as bright as he/she may be, the OP was not up to that challenge. And there are many ways to challenge oneself outside of class - my brother is brilliant (off the charts IQ) and like the OP engineering in college came very easily to him – but he diligently finished the program and challenged himself by doing research with a professor, taking graduate level math classes, winning a scholarship that give him summer and part-time work in the field etc.