I’ve been there, too.
Last year, actually. I applied for seven schools: Andover, Choate, Middlesex, Exeter, Lawrenceville, Concord Academy, and St. Paul’s. My older sister had gotten into Andover the year earlier, and I went into the admission process with one idea in my mind:
Boarding school will be my life.
Boarding school was the only way for me to get into an Ivy League. If my sister got in, I had to as well. I will only succeed if I go to boarding school. My parents spent too much money on my application, I have to get something back.
My mind, as you can see, was twisted to make boarding school everything. Like many others, I put my entire self worth upon boarding school admissions. If you are doing this as well, and am reading this thread with a heavy heart, allow me to tell you one thing:
Boarding school is NOT everything.
I applied again this year, and I had a school trip from March 3rd to March 11th. Before I left, I asked my dad: “If I don’t get in, will you be sad again?”, he said something that changed my viewpoint:
“Boarding school doesn’t guarantee anything.”
I needed that, and perhaps, you should be reminded of that as well.
Boarding school is NOT everything. You have a wonderful life planned out ahead of you. God has everything under control.
You are amazing, you are incredible, you are ambitious, smart, talented, absolutely amazing. YOU are so rare. You are so thoughtful, so hard working. You’re still in middle/high school and you’re already going to interviews, writing college-like essays, and going through the admission process. YOU ARE SO STRONG.
Please, do not cry about this.
Last year, my entire worth was dependent upon boarding school. When I saw my waitlists and rejections, I cried the entire night, my self worth was lost, my confidence— gone.
Exactly one year later, I am at peace.
I hope you know that as a student of ambition, knowledge, faith, and character, that you WILL have a bright future. You WILL get through this. Boarding school is not everything. Your dedication as a student will bring you far at your current school. You’re special. You’re applying for boarding school for a reason… You’re smart, you have talent, you have a unique character. That alone will bring you far.
Repeat after me:
Boarding school is not everything.
No matter what, you will go far. Work hard and believe in yourself.
After two years of suffering with my shame, I have one message I hope you keep with yourself in the future:
You will go far.