<p>thumper–because there are just some things a mom wants to be a part of, and for me buying her first prom dress and her wedding dress are two of those things. I paid for 100% of everything for my wedding, but my mom still came with me to pick out my wedding dress.</p>
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<p>But in your first post, you said your D was shopping for a dress with friends. </p>
<p>So…to respond to that first post…if you feel THAT strongly about being there, tell your daughter to have the dress put on hold…OR hop right into your car and meet her at the store. When she puts the dress on and gushes over it’s beauty…simply agree and pay the bill. It’s her prom.</p>
<p>Like someone upstream said…she will laugh about this later OR she might be light years ahead of the curve and HER dress will look awesome when she is looking at those pics 20 years from now.</p>
<p>I happen to be a black belt shopper. My girls are black belt shoppers. I found many of their dresses (including prom dresses) when I was out wandering. I was at the Last Call sale at Neiman’s when I found a short black dress. She loved it. It was sensational on her. Price: originally *850…paid…119.</p>
<p>My youngest found a formal dress for me at a big sale at Neimans. I paid a bit more, but to have my daughters find me a gorgeous dress…priceless.</p>
<p>She can also look online for last call sales from Saks/Neimans?Bloomingdales/Macys et al…returnable and generally a great price.</p>
<p>I HATE to shop. D1 went to 4 Homecomings, 4 Winter Formals and 2 proms. She refused to go shopping without me. She is very picky and she tried on many, many dresses. It was absolutely torture. It makes me nauseous just thinking about it. The good news is that she and her sorority sisters got a lot of use out of the dresses at various exchanges and date dances. Although most of the dresses were shortened to be appropriate.</p>
<p>Since D is a professional classical vocalist, I frequently go shopping for formal gowns with her and without her. If I find something on sale I snag it for her. I admit it’s still fun. Going shopping for the prom gown was H’s job. He has excellent taste and had “the keys to the kingdom” ie, access to a large film studio costume house. Whenever I want to see the silk charmeuse gown she wore to prom, I just watch Deborah Kerr in “Affair to Remember”. $50 cleaning/rental fee and the best dress at the prom. I am all for rentals, especially if you are just going to wear the dress one time.</p>
<p>A Deborah Kerr dress at the prom!!! To die for.</p>
<p>I would tell my D to put it on hold and we would go back to look at it. I find with my D that sometimes she loves something when out with friends but when she gets it home she realizes it is something she just is not comfortable wearing. My D has a friend who loves high heeled shoes. One day they went shopping at Ross and my D came home with a pair of 5 inch high pumps. I knew she would never wear them but she was sure she would and loved them and they were only 5 bucks. 12 months later and those pumps are still in her closet with the tag still attached.</p>
<p>thumper–keep reading my posts and it will all be explained. The girls were trying on dresses…if she found one she really likes, we would go back and check it out. We have been on 2 dress trying on shopping trips together too. I have made her wait before she buys one because none of the dresses have been just WOW for her yet so they check back when they get the chance.</p>
<p>Now, her friend found a dress that was WOW on her. I loved the dress but it looked a little TOO good on her. I know her Dad will have a hard time sending her out the door with a boy if she ends up buying that dress. It was just a little too flattering for a 16 year old girl–but WOW.</p>
<p>OP - Why do you start a thread or ask for opinion if you already know what you are going to do? Is this another opportunity for you to tell people what you would do?</p>
<p>musica…i’m with frazzled…a deborah kerr gown from one of my favorite movies…wow!</p>
<p>mncollegemom, I was like you when D1 was buying prom dresses. She went shopping with her friend and put the dress on hold, I went with her and paid for it. Luckily with D2, she has been able to recycle her sister’s dresses.</p>
<p>I am glad I have boys. This is too much drama for me.</p>
<p>Dads is just gonna have to suck it up… Unless the daughter looks like a hooker, but instead looks sexy and and more adult than we are used to, thats called growing up. Dads never want to see their girls all pretty and sexy. It scares them, but time moves one.</p>
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Me too. My boy has never enjoyed shopping. Most of the time, he would ask us to shop for him (save him a trip to the mall) and he would wear whatever we bought for him. Only recently (already 24 yo) he may ask us to choose clothes of a particular color if we still want to buy something for him. In the future, when he has a girlfriend/wife, I guess she would take this easy job from us.</p>
<p>It is so easy, but not so much fun, for us.</p>
<p>As far as I could remember, the only thing he is interested in shopping is music CDs and those gears in music stores. He could stay there for hours.</p>
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<p>I’m with you, oldfort, I’m confused. OP, do you love the dress or hate the dress? You want her to look sexy but don’t want her to look sexy? You want us to tell you it’s OK that you want her to look sexy? What’s the question?</p>
<p>LasMa-read that again…</p>
<p>I haven’t decided what I am going to do yet and I didn’t post this for opinions on what I should do, I asked what others would do. </p>
<p>There is no drama. We have had FAR more drama with our oldest son.</p>
<p>DD has looked at dresses in the past with friends, but quite honestly she has better taste than her friends. She would prefer to go with me (and not just because I am paying) because I know what she likes and will look good in. I don’t allow the hooker look. We just bought a prom dress from a friend (who went to a different school) that she and her younger sister both love. It’s being altered, but will be perfect. Strapless, elegant, cut-out back but tasteful—looks like her! Now she just needs a date…but if she is not asked, she will find someone.</p>
<p>We have a collection of dresses, though D has worn some a few times; luckily younger sister is a similar shape, has similar taste and I can do basic alterations. </p>
<p>DS’s were so easy…shirt, tie, dress pants or rent the tux.</p>
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Maybe there is more drama with oldest son, but this sounds like drama to me! If you tell her she shouldnt buy it because the fabric looks awful, or there is a “prom rule” where you have to be with her and you “made her wait” after seeing other dresses she liked and also discuss with dad who might fear she looks … um… too mature… thats drama.</p>
<p>When my D goes shopping for special-occasion dresses or any other clothing, I generally give her an amount of money that seems reasonable and do my thing at home or wherever while she’s shopping with friends. On occasion, I’ll take her to the mall and linger at the coffee stand with a book and headphones while she shops; I order up a latte, tune the iPod to Beethoven’s 9th, settle into whatever I’m reading and peer over my specs when she comes back needing more money. Her taste is her taste. I wish she had a keener appreciation for differences in fabric quality (she has a high tolerance for synthetics). She is middle-of-the-road by today’s standards vis-a-vis the exposure of and strategic arrangement of her bosom, but we’re not talking “wardrobe malfunction” territory here. She always wears shoes that make it possible for her to dance all night comfortably, which I call good sense.</p>
<p>With my youngest who had a very good eye but is thrifty, I gave her money to get a dress. She just felt guilty about spending it, so I had to take her back to the shop and assure her that the dress was a reasonable price & I was happy to get it for
her. She couldn’t recycle her sisters dresses unfortunately as she is about 6" taller.</p>