<p>D2 bought her prom dress with her sister over the winter break while we were back home visiting. They showed it to me and I thought it looked lovely. </p>
<p>Now, the prom at D2’s school is a family affair, we are allowed to buy up to 12 tickets (a table). It is a formal affair. I am the one without a dress at this moment. The prom will be at a local hotel, and there will be the post prom at another catering place. For the prom, no dates either, so less drama.</p>
<p>It was her FRIEND that found the “mature” looking dress, not my DD. Her friend’s Dad is retired military…My Dh would not like to see his baby looking all grown up because he sometimes forgets she is growing up but won’t stop her from buying the dress.</p>
<p>I guess we are just lucky here that we can be honest with our kids and not have drama over it. If I don’t like something she tries on, I tell her, we discuss it, more often than not, she ends up agreeing with me when I tell her the reasons, end of story. It isn’t drama, it’s a mature discussion with a lovely teen daughter that actually listens to what others have to say and takes their opinions under consideration to make an informed decision.</p>
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Something to think about. She is growing up. Becoming more autonomous. Developing responsibility and judgment and decision making skills. If she makes a reasoned explanation for why she wants something, consider agreeing with her instead.</p>
<p>If her dad has the more definite opinions, perhaps he should go prom dress shopping. It would make a nice father/daughter time to remember.</p>
<p>I am so glad that we go Prom Dress shopping as a group of Mom’s and daughters. We had a blast last year and it was a great bonding time for the mom’s and girls. The store even gave the mom’s champagne… Can’t wait for our senior year shopping event.</p>
<p>It really helps when the girls go off track on a dress to have other moms help you reel them in… lol</p>
<p>That sounds like fun, rushedmom. A group outing, and feedback from peers and other parents. Doesnt become a mom-daughter power struggle.</p>
<p>^And champagne is involved.</p>
<p>Champagne helps everything :)</p>
<p>Well, I guess I am just glad that my DD and I have an open relationship where we can be honest with each other on things like an outfit looking good on you or not. How that is a power struggle I will never know. My DD likes shopping with me for big things and also likes shopping with her friends. If we end up doing a big trip with other moms/daughters for prom dresses all the better. Let’s throw in some pedicures at the end of the day too. </p>
<p>Amazing how everyone jumps to their own conclusions over one simple question…</p>
<p>My dd has not made it to prom, but we’ve been shopping for homecomings and other dances. Her friends have cheap taste - lol. Forever 21 type stores that my dd doesn’t like. She’ll try on dresses with them, but so far has bought with me. She’s needed dressy dresses almost since the time she was in K. I’ve always helped her find her size and try on different ones, but I really try and have her make up her mind. I try not to influence, but she has a really, really hard time making decisions. I usually end up saying, do you like it on you, is it comfortable, can you see yourself in it at the dance? </p>
<p>Last year we went shopping before she went with friends and when she went with the friends she was looking for shoes and accessories.</p>
<p>Some girls are more group minded shoppers than others. Mine happens to not be one of them. So far she prefers the buying to be with me.</p>
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I could also see one obnoxious parent giving opinions to everyone, and that would be unpleasant.</p>
<p>One dress she tried on I knew wasn’t going to work. The boning in the bodice was way too much. I told her to sit down in the dress, took her 2 seconds to figure out it was not going to work. It looked great on her but to spend how many hours in that dress was not going to be pleasant. We’ve also talking about the whole strapless dress/tugging up issue and how most girls buy too big of a dress in that style because they don’t like the tight fit. Last year for homecoming we were shopping with one of her friends. Her friend went into a store to try on a dress, DD was browsing around but didn’t really like anything. I found one dress I knew would be perfect on her and while she tried it on to humor me, as soon as she got it on she was in love. It looked amazing on her. The hard part was figuring out which color. She liked the dress so much she wore it again this year…sometimes mom does know what she is talking about.</p>
<p>I really dislike shopping. I was happy for both Ds to go with their friends, although I have gone with both of them to get dresses for prom/graduation.
Younger D is super particular about clothes- tactile sensitivity, in 4th grade she wore the same thing everyday all year! So I was just as happy to have her go with her friend where she might be a little more relaxed.
She reads Vogue but at the same time was so worried about money that we ended up not getting anything the first time I took her. When it was getting down to the wire she agreed to go again & she found something that I thought was even better than the dress she had found a month earlier. It doesn’t hurt that she apparently is the size many of the dresses are designed for. Unlike her sister & myself who have to be careful about disclosing too much of our assets!</p>
<p>My D is much more fashion savvy than I am. I also hate to shop, so we have no issues here. She takes my credit card and gets the job done much better than I would. She does love to show me what she’s bought when she gets home. The only issue we’ve ever had was that once I was concerned her dress was a little short. Once I saw her in it with her shoes on, I had to admit she looked really beautiful.</p>
<p>As to the OP, if it was a matter of personal taste (fabric) vs. an issue of inappropriate (too short, too revealing, etc), I would probably just nod and smile.</p>
<p>Have to agree with eyeamom–my DD’s friends have cheap taste and probably a big reason why she would shop for dress with me. She has good taste, knows the basics of fabrics and what I could alter if needed (though usually not more than taking in side seams), plus she knows what would meet her parents’ approval. She almost never buys when out with a friend. However, if just personal taste, I would nod like nrdsb4 and say fine.</p>
<p>I don’t have a dd so won’t ever get to do the dress-shopping thing. Ds1’s prom date’s mom sent me a pic of her dd’s dress from online so that we could match his pocket square to her dress. We didn’t even tuxedo shop – he knew exactly what he wanted.</p>
<p>If I had a dd, I’d love to shop and drink champagne with a group of moms! As it is, the custom is for one of the girls’ parents to host a picture-taking party. Alcohol often is involved. ;)</p>
<p>Power struggles are often avoided by the wiser one who just defers to the overbearing one.</p>
<p>If the wiser one is the young girl, then she will regret it later.</p>
<p>Right, shyanne. If a child frequently defers to an overbearing parent, they may regret/resent it down the road.</p>
<p>And as an aside, the statement about avoiding a mother-dau power struggle was a general statement in response to the comment about the benefits of shopping in a group with several girls and their moms. It wasn’t directed at or to anyone. So agreed, mnmom,-- no need to jump to conclusions over one statement.</p>
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<p>And what about long-suffering mothers who are cowed by their intransigent daughters? 
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<p>Please don’t tell my D I said that!</p>