How do I explain this?
You could be friends, sure, no one takes that away, but your not allowed to join the others because the spaces they congregate are off limits. And asking them to come to you instead takes tons of work and advance planning which adds stress to an already stressed out group. But they can gather when and where they want with ease.
So it’s not that they specifically say don’t be friends. Not at all. They would never do that. The system, as it is, doesn’t allow for close friendships between the groups.
And as I said, we aren’t leaving. Very, very happy, with unbelievably smart, thoughtful and caring teachers, but donating extra to the community sometimes feels hard for me and that’s a shame for all of us. There are no winners here.