Social repercussions of quitting alcohol??l

I drink alcohol no more than once a month. No more than one glass. Ever. I’ve had exactly two people ever comment on my non drinking. To both I’ve said “I don’t understand why you could possibly be interested in whether I’m drinking”. Shut them up PDQ.

@BunsenBurner - I drink wine occasionally, but what you are saying about the size of pours is one reason I avoid it. That and then the “topping off.” I think it’s much easier to lose “count” with wine than with mixed drinks. Either I or my husband almost always mix my drinks.

@roethlisburger - we don’t ask ladies that question where I come from, but I am definitely over 30. :wink:

“Thanks , but I’m all set for now. “

Done.

And then they move on to what whatever pops into the brain next.

People really don’t spend as much time thinking about us as we think.

If I have a tough conversation with someone or interaction I’ll call my wife. I usually want to rehash and go over. She always reminds me that two minutes after I was done talking to this person, they were thinking “I wonder what’s for dinner”

I used to drink moderately in college and before I got married. Then I spent so many years pregnant/nursing and living in a dry county that I pretty much forgot about alcohol. In my 40s I started to have migraines, and could hardly tolerate even one drink. H quit drinking in college (before we met) after a few embarrassing binges.
We are the lightest social drinkers. When I do drink, I will have one beer or white wine. I will drink champagne for new years or for toasts at weddings. I don’t like the taste of mixed drinks or wine in general. I prefer beer. But usually I’ll get a Coke and carry it around. I am known as a non-drinker among moms in my circle. I tell people it’s due to migraines, but I have wondered if people suspect I’m an alcoholic. My grandfather and several uncles were alcoholics, and my dad is a heavy drinker, so I am wary of alcohol. I think I am excluded from social events at times because, as someone said above, it is no fun to have that one sober person around when you are cutting loose. The ‘wet blanket effect.’

Watching “Million Dollar Listing,” and after seeing a realtor describe her $3.5 million home as “perfect for a young couple just starting out,” I feel like I need a drink…

Wine is not on my diet right now…alcohol increases triglycerides fyi…But I definitely will have some wine or champagne in about 10 days when my D gets married. :slight_smile:

I do love a nice glass of cab, I don’t deny it. Liquor doesn’t appeal to me whatsoever. Beer I have about once every ten years if I’m on a boat. Never end up finishing it, though, because nothing is more gag worthy than the warm swill at the bottom of the bottle if you don’t drink it fast enough.

If we have as many light drinkers at D’s wedding as are on this thread, we will save big time on our bar bill. :wink:

Drinking is a fun thing for most. But it’s a personal choice. Sometimes for health reasons. Sometimes you just don’t like it.

Just like a pork chop, hors d’oeuvres, a piece of gum or a cigar. Whatever. It’s just a choice. I’d have no problem saying no thanks to any of these items and not give it another thought.

I guess I just look at it the same exact way.

Maybe they are just being polite and not analyzing your answer at all.

Wouldn’t give it a second thought.

Our old neighborhood parties were big on drinking. There was a big push and lots of questions if people weren’t drinking. I would typically have one beer and then fill the bottle with water. People would then leave me alone. It was just easier for me. I also went through a period with GI issues and stopped drinking entirely. Usually people would back right off if I said I was on meds and couldn’t drink.

At this point in my life though I don’t really feel the need to explain. Either I’d like a beer or glass of wine, or I don’t. I have a two drink limit no matter what. I just don’t like how I feel beyond that.

My gm, mother, and I had/have a high tolerance. Good livers, I guess. But we shouldn’t turn this thread into the alcohol police, or self-impose criticisms, worrying what others think of us. Unless we or our friends have a drinking problem. That’s more than just counting. The medical query is called the CAGE questions. Plus issues related to depression.

One of my friends likes to drink any time/any excuse and when I decline, all she says is, “I like my glass of white wine” or something similar. Fine. Other friends fancy themselves semi-experts. But when the water is good, I truly prefer that.

Oddly, I do notice who doesn’t drink water, when out to dinner. Lol, it sits there. Callit quirky, but I notice that.

Interesting. Your experience is different than mine. I’m guessing you are male (based on ‘wife’ comment). I’m female. I definitely get hassled sometimes about not drinking and it happens both with men and women. I don’t advertise that I don’t drink. I just say ‘no thanks’ or ‘I’m good’ or whatever. But every so often (10% of the time?), there is a host or person passing out the glasses that insists. Then I say ‘not tonight’ or something like that. Yet they persist! Then at that point, I say ‘I don’t drink.’ I have to repeat that 2-3 times before they give up. The vast majority don’t care or notice–clearly nobody here cares. But it takes just one person to hassle you. Perhaps they are tipsy and won’t normally? Who knows. So, yeah, if you are talking about social consequences, some people, like me, in some situations, get hassled.

@lookingforward - thank you.

I’m not sure. But I would guess it’s maybe more of an age related thing. I could see what you’re saying happening to me more with my friends in my 20s. Also there’s always going to be someone who doesn’t take no for an answer.

In the end it became more about me not caring and not letting someone like that rent any space in my head. I guess. If someone was my friend I would tell them more. If it was someone at a party or a bar. I would just excuse myself and move on. Not getting into it. But that just doesn’t seem to happen the more I don’t care. Always polite and thanking them but I literally move on immediately and they do too.

Yes, we live in a vacation/retirement area and “vibrant” is a good way to describe the drinking culture here.

@Hoggirl ??

We were at a wedding earlier this month. When it was time for toasts, the waithelp wemt around with bottles of sparkling cider and champagne. The majority of our table opted for the sparkling cider. I thought it was very thoughtful that the couple offered both beverages.

Before dinner, there was a bar. Folks could order whatever they wanted. I ordered a tropical drink with no alcohol. It was very refreshing. Folks were ordering a wide range of beverages.

Only when I was a sorority pledge over 40 years ago was I ever hassled about not drinking at parties. It didn’t change my preferences and I didn’t start drinking but reinforced that it wasn’t my tribe and I quit some months later.

I honestly have no medical reason why I can’t drink but honestly don’t like the taste of alcohol and don’t feel it’s anyone else’s business. I make an excellent designated driver. :wink:

@liska21

Then you tilt your head to the side, and say "Why is this so important to you?

I rarely drink. I was in a relationship for over a decade with a recovering alcoholic, and the habit became more and more foreign to me. When raising my kids as a single mom, I also never wanted them to see me drive after a drink and I was always the driver. So I never drank at social gatherings with them. However I live in Wisconsin, who has more drinking than any other state and alcohol is part of most gatherings. At a book group or dinner, I will have an inch or two of wine is in my glass, a taste is sufficient and there is a bit of something there for a toast. A bit of a red wine allergy makes me avoid it, and wheat hurts my stomach, so have learned to avoid that as well. Hard cider is something i really enjoy, but that is less frequently available.

One friend is vaguely annoyed by my lack of drinking as we are close and she is dedicated to her wine when we go out. But she is polite about it and accounts for it in a shared tab. Years ago I got irritated at shared tabs and paying for other folks wine. In recent years it seems less an issue as split tabs are more common.

I never drink alcohol - as in zero. Some people express astonishment when they first find out, especially the French. Most folks appear to get over it soon enough, but perhaps silently they are thinking I’m really weird or something.

One of my colleagues at work can’t quite get over the surprise that I don’t drink, but she herself is a strict vegetarian. I just tell her that just I’ll drink a glass of wine just as soon as she orders and eats a prime rib. That seems to put it in terms she can understand.

Add me to the group whose circle doesn’t give a hoot about whether folks drink or not. I usually don’t and have never heard even an iota of a protest - nor do I preach about why I tend to not drink often (esp since I have no particular reason TBH).

Reading this thread makes me glad I have the friends/family I have!

One of my lads is already married and a second is getting married this summer. Neither has chosen to have alcohol at their wedding/reception. No one seemed peeved about that either - at least not out loud to us. The previous rehearsal dinner had open beverages though no one drank a lot - perhaps a beer or two. This one will be at a restaurant that doesn’t serve alcohol. We’re kinda counting our lucky stars that we haven’t had to pay a higher bill! We had our fairly rare drinks this past week on vacation and the $$ can add up quickly.

I drink on the weekends usually and my husband doesn’t much. I don’t think it has much impact other than I always have a designated driver. All 3 of our adult kids drink. Socially a few of the men in our group have quit in the past decade so we have a mix. My mother always had a pitcher of martinis in the fridge for she and my dad after work but they both pretty much stopped drinking when I was a teen so I am more of a drink if you want or don’t if you don’t want.

@TheGreyKing I don’t drink with people I work with. I’d say that is someone asked, but no one ever does. I have an occasional glass of wine when out to dinner otherwise, maybe once a month or so.

OP, I do think over time this could impact your friend group and socializing patterns. That may not be a bad thing. My sibs abd parents used to give me a hard time about not drinking, but they seem to have gotten used to it over the years. They kind of like having a designated driver now. :slight_smile: