something nice about your spouse

Parent Cafe
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<p>Another anecdote… best gift he’s ever given me (so far).</p>

<p>He’s a composer, so after about five years of dating when he still hadn’t written so much as a string quartet for me, I’d of course given him a little ribbing about it. </p>

<p>When we were in the midst of our long-distance relationship, with him in Louisiana and me in Illinois, I had a very difficult time of things. My new kitten ran up a huge tab in vet bills and then died, my classes were difficult, my advisor accepted a job at another university and left me in the lurch academically and financially, my beloved grandmother died, my parents separated, and I ran into some big medical problems. I was pretty down.</p>

<p>When my birthday rolled around, my husband phoned me to talk, and said that he wasn’t done with my birthday present yet. I laughed and gave him some flack about it, and he said, “Okay, you can have a sneak preview… check your e-mail.” I opened a PDF file that he’d sent me: a four-part choral piece, an Agnus Dei, that he was writing in memory of my grandmother.</p>

<p>I didn’t cry at our wedding, I didn’t cry when he proposed, but I sobbed my eyes out (in a good way!) when I saw that Agnus Dei. (I think my dad and grandfather probably did, too, when I forwarded it to them… My grandpa went out the day after with a printout of the piece and a dozen roses to lay them on her grave.)</p>

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<p>She saw something worthwhile in me. She thought I had potential back when no one else did, especially her dad.</p>

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<p>Oh aibarr, that is so touching, I’ve got tears in my eyes. Thanks for sharing this sweet story!</p>

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<p>Hey, he came around! If he knew then what a great addition you would make to the family gene pool, he would have been groveling at your feet.</p>

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<p>He is very thoughtful. Flowers and a cake always precede my birthday. My birthday, anniversary, mom’s day and Christmas are always remembered by my H…I cannnot wait to see what kind of flowers he chooses and the delicious and beautiful cake he orders…at that time I don’t mind about calories.</p>

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<p>well much of his attention lately has been xrated- but I have some other appreciations as well.</p>

<p>Early on in our marriage I was a nanny to two of the cutest- sweetest kids- a boy and a girl, 9m & 3 & 1/2 respectively.
We would often have them for the weekend, so the mom ( who was single- but dating) could have a life/some sleep.</p>

<p>During the first weekend that we had them ( this was before we had our own kids) we had taken a walk to a local park ( that didn’t have a rest room, but it was only a couple blocks away), the little boy had an enormous & loose dirty diaper & my H cleaned him up without me even asking ( and without complaining)</p>

<p>When my grandparents were alive, he was close to them. They considered him their grandson and he called them " Grandpa & Grandma". He took my grandpa fishing, he asked him questions about tools and he even let him " help" paint our house. ( even though we had to go back over the parts Granpa did)</p>

<p>He is incredibly tolerant/accommodating to my various moods/ideas/ & * schemes*
He didn’t blink when I informed him we were going to have a " family bed", including extended ( well past one year- ) nursing, that we were going to start our kids off in private school or that he was going to do a great deal of the field trip duties.</p>

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<p>We’ve been married less than a year and are still very much in the honeymoon bliss phase. Being a midlife couple, it completely took us by surprise what a difference being married would make, but it did. We revel in how much the same we are, and celebrate our differences.</p>

<p>He tells me he loves me every day and he loves me without condition. He gets up early to walk my (now our) dogs every morning, he’s a great listener, he’s one of the smartest people I know, he has an open mind and constantly seeks to learn, he reads more than one book at a time, he asks deep questions, he’s patient and kind, he’s thoughtful, he’s genuine, he’s willing to take ballroom dancing lessons with me and even says he enjoys it, he’s opened his heart to my sons. He’s drawn the line at letting the cat sleep on the bed, but I can live with that.</p>

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<p>vballmom, congratulations! Some honeymoons last a long time - H and I are still in our honeymoon phase, and we’ve been together for 25+ years (yikes, time flies!). According to my sister-in-law, we are “weird.”
(We do not let the cats sleep on our bed either - they hop around and make too much noise. :slight_smile: )</p>

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<p>atomom, thank you SO much for starting this thread…I truly have tears in my eyes reading everyone’s story, it is SO beautiful and makes me feel so good! :)</p>

<p>As I was writing down things I love about my husband in a notebook this morning, it makes me realize what a wonderful husband I have. I know I am guilty of not appreciating him the way I should and I hope this thread helps remind me of what an incredible, loving and unique person he truly is.</p>

<p>Ok here goes my list…</p>

<p>a. his Christian faith and how his life exemplifies Christ’s teachings to care for and help others.
b. willingness to do the taxes every year
c. he honestly doesn’t care about my messy housekeeping. He thinks our life’s avocation is SO much more important than how tidy our house is on any given day.
d. makes me laugh all the time
e. introduced me to Bugs Bunny & The RoadRunner
f. never notices my gray “roots” or if he does doesn’t say a word
g. makes fires in ou r fireplace in the winter
h. doesn’t complain when I forget to buy him new pants, belts or underwear
i. picks me interesting books for my birthday
j. buys me newspapers because he knows I love reading them
k. helps our daughter with difficult math homework
l. grills fantastic steaks and all manner of things!
m. doesn’t care if we order out a lot
n. knows my favorite sushi
o. always compliments me when I make a new recipe even if it is a flop!
p. his compassion and skill in helping his patients suffering from cancer
q. brings me coffee in bed Sunday morning and has put in the EXACT right quantity of sweet & low and half and half
r. delayed retirement so our DD can attend her dream school
s. when I am frantically “weeding” in our backyard, he sits down on the porch with a glass of wine and tells me to relax, and enjoy the beauty of Mother Nature…they aren’t ‘weeds’ but exactly how Mother Nature intended it to be! :)</p>

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<p>p.s. oh I forgot this reallllly important attribute! he’ll set and empty mousetraps in the garage etc :)</p>

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<p>He ADORES his children (and me)</p>

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<p>I’ll put another in (since I have 2 on the peeves thread). Another thing I love is that he sets the best example for our kids on HOW a man should treat his wife/family. </p>

<p>D often complains that we have set an unrealistic example of how a married couple should get along (“you two are disgustingly cute”) - to which I reply, she should never settle for less!</p>

<p>S sees his dad acting like a kind, responsible, even keeled man who loves his family. How can you not learn from that?</p>

<p>(and, he takes the ticks off the dogs. Then delights in lighting said ticks on fire and putting them down the garbage disposal)</p>

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<p>JustaMom,</p>

<p>Your post reminded me of one time when we had our nieces in our car, Bullet and I were holding hands as he was driving (we always do that). Our niece turned to our DS and said doesn’t that freak you out? DS looked at her quizzically trying to figure out what she meant, she said that they hold hands. DS responded, NO, why should it? It would freak me out if they didn’t! They were 13 yo at the time and my heart broke because she never saw that demonstration of affection. Her parents separated 2 yrs later.</p>

<p>I love DH because when the dogs have an accident in the house he cleans it up for me because he knows it will make me have a gag reflex and run to the bathroom. Yrs of changing diapers NO PROBLEM, dog accidents and a different story.</p>

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<p>…he puts up with me. :)</p>

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<p>This is such a cool thread. There have to be others like me that want to tell the world how wonderful your spouse is, but don’t want to “brag” when you tell your friends that are not as blessed with such loving spouses. Sometimes I even feel a little guilty when I have seen the way some of them are treated. I hope that makes sense.</p>

<p>Don’t get me wrong…my husband HAS his moods occasionally…but the good far outweights the bad. I don’t know if I could ever list all the wonderful things my hubby has done over the last 28 years, but after reading all these, it has been a reminder of the little things that have slipped into the back of my mind, so I’ll add another note. </p>

<p>He jokes because of his work schedule of being offshore for 28 days and says that “we’ve been married 25 years, but really only together 15” and I guess during those days home he just never ceases to make the most of the time. I work fulltime so we don’t really even to get see each other during the day on the 14 days he’s home, and I feel guilty sometimes for scheduling things while he is home just so I won’t have to take off, such as the HVAC tuneups, the car repairs, the carpet cleaners, and on and on…he handles all beautifully, and takes the pressure off of me. He helps with my elderly dad and stepmom when they need anything, just drove hours alone on Monday to pick up DS’s college belongings to help lighten the first year dorm move-out, and he does most anything we request. </p>

<p>Since I had my daughter from the moment we met, since our older two are married now and the last child left for college last fall, we have truly become emptynesters and are just now experiencing what it like to be “just us two”. Wow! We finally took a cruise, and in two weeks since will be working he is sending me, the three kids and their spouses, and son’s girlfriend, and all four grandkids to the beach for a Mothers Day weekend. :slight_smile: Not to mention, the other night he directed to me a Niagra Falls website, told me he had booked a week in Canada for us in the fall “because it’s on your bucket-list”. These are only a few of the many things like morning backrubs, Saturday breakfasts in bed, flowers sent to my office, (he sent me 40 roses on my 40th birthday) and the even smaller things like occasionally packing my lunch (down to napkins and silverware), or packing a gym bag for me when we meet at the Y after work…and even just the other night, he left me to swim laps at the Y while he went home to start the grill for a wonderful dinner he made. </p>

<p>My first marriage was abuseively BAD, and I often tell people that I truly think God showed me a bad marriage so I would truly appreciate a good one. For all that have posted here, we are blessed beyond measure, and I hope that this thread has made us find a new perspective. I know it has for me.</p>

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<p>RE: holding hands as he was driving</p>

<p>I would never do this with my H–too dangerous!!</p>

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<p>thats what I was thinking- I don’t even like holding hands when walking- too much PDA for me.</p>

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<p>Aww… I can’t help it! :o</p>

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<p>Whenever there is a real problem, he is helpful, and never says “I told you so” (even if he did ;)…)</p>

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<p>He not only treats my two daughters from previous marriage like his own, but does it while simultaneously respecting their father and not trying to fill his shoes.</p>

<p>He would give me anything my heart desires ( which I could really run with ) :)</p>