<p>In the first post, “I don’t know if the story is true and a girl drove.” He understated the damage. I do understand kids will minimize for whatever reason. Or fish around for an acceptable story.</p>
<p>But then the police show up, 2 hours later: “Son (drunk and half asleep) stuck with girl driving but wouldn’t give her up. He says he’ll just say he did it. He doesn’t get it. Cop was very annoyed.”</p>
<p>That’s the difference. This isn’t “bad cop.” Or “bad neighbor.” Maybe not even bad insurer who will raise his rates- she said they have accident forgiveness. </p>
<p>Consolation, it matters very much which state and the prevailing laws at the time. Where I was young, where I lived, it was “the last person who could have prevented the accident.” Now in some states it’s “no fault.” Or whatever. There isn’t necessarily the same commonality, either between states or then vs now.</p>
<p>We don’t have an update. But from her two posts, she didn’t need an attorney to look up rules about responsibility and reporting. But she may need legal advice since her son couldn’t play it straight with the officer.</p>
<p>I’m not assuming he is lying, nor that he told her the truth, so far as the two posts go. </p>
<p>In a way I think you are absolutely correct. In another way, I disagree. Your scenario is not a potentially life and death situation. I absolutely agree running off the road into someone’s yard isn’t a really big deal. Sometimes cars run into houses and that can be a big deal. Hitting the pole may or may not be a big deal. Hitting poles does sometimes result in fatalities. It seems to me all of us are incredibly fortunate and lucky when our kids survive childhood and adolescence and early adulthood. To me, this looks like a night of luck. </p>
<p>I agree with everyone advising consulting a lawyer is a great idea in this sort of situation. However, if this were my child, my first priority would be how to use it as a teaching moment and try my best to prevent the situation were everything didn’t turn out so very lucky.</p>
<p>Also, like others here, I’m a huge fan of telling the kids to call parents for a ride home, or a taxi, which we will reimburse without fussing. </p>
<p>I suspect we won’t hear from the OP again about this event and that there will be no clarification. If this had been my son I would have gotten legal advice by now and no doubt have been told to talk to no one about it. The OP would be foolish to write about this any further. </p>
<p>No matter the real scenario of what happened, the police are now involved. Drunk driving and drunken behavior in adults is taken much more seriously than thirty years ago and as someone wrote earlier, if convicted of anything the legal consequences could follow him around for a long time. My first move as a parent would be to talk to a an attorney who knows the lay of the land in the local courts. IF the kid were lucky and there are no consequences other than financial then I would make sure that a reimbursement schedule was set up. The behavioral history of the kid and their attitude regarding this particular incident would tell me a lot…quite honestly, I was never one of those parents who took “Everyone else does it.” as an excuse for anything. I agree with all the commenters before me who said to try to what happened as a teaching moment</p>
<p>Consolation, when I suggested the parents of the girl could have been the ones to call in police at that hour, I didn’t mean they’d turn her in. I thought they’d do it for (take your pick): to ensure an accident report was filed, to protect their daughter medically just in case she has a latent injury, to get back at/punish the boy for putting her in a bad position, to punish her by ratting out her friend… lots of reasons.</p>
<p>Plenty of parents are not so clever about law and lawyers. To the average bear out there, if there’s any car incident and D is present, particularly if she really was behind the wheel, I’d want a police presence there to sort it all out, not just neighbors with their own motivations on how to handle things. </p>
<p>So, the boy not telling to protect the girl and then the girl going home and telling is really getting beyond the bounds of logicalness. I’m thinking there is no disappearing girl. Anyway, if my D comes home and tells me she crashed her drunk friends truck into a lightpole as everyone is fortunately fine I am certainly not going to feel the need to call the police for any reason. Talk about asking for trouble.</p>
<p>I think the OP will come back, and I hope she will be comfortable giving us a general update, though she might choose not to share specifics. Most everyone here is concerned and supportive of the OP. And as others said upthread, this could have happened to any of us. Best of luck, OP.</p>
<p>About a month ago, in our neighborhood, someone drove into a yard, hit and knocked down the street sign, did damage to the yard. It’s quite an ugly mess that was left, and yes, the homeowner called the police and they are investigating. If tracks led to someone in the neighborhood or a camera could track down whose vehicle did this, the authorities are certainly going to follow up and press charges if they can. I think that contacting the neighbor and the township and advising them of what happened, could temper some of this, but once police are involved, getting legal advice is wise. Yes, this could have happened or could happen to any of us I was checking the tires of our cars, and those of our sons’ when I saw the local damages.</p>
<p>For the second time in about five years, a driver drove into our neighborhood and up onto the median, smashing a brick and stone sign. They drove off and were never caught. When we rebuilt the sign (after months of fundraisers), someone had the brilliant idea to have a little garden in front of it, and in front of that - very large rocks! </p>
<p>Here is what the OP posted in a thread from awhile back:</p>
<p>Someone I know got in an accident and since it was close to home they let a passenger just bring the car home so they could get on their way. The driver stayed with the other car to exchange info. The cops came and did a brief investigation, looking for dui but deciding not to pursue it. They gave the person a ticket for failure to yield and leaving the scene. No injuries.</p>
<p>THe leaving the scene ticket is the problem because although the cop played it down, saying they could charge criminal for concealing evidence they would just give this ticket. When I read the penalties I think it can and does carry a license suspension. I think they recently changed it do people who ARE dui can’t leave and sober up.</p>
<p>The thing is that I read it as the DRIVER can’t leave, and the driver did NOT leave. They stayed and were exchanging info and did not plan to call the police. Here is the statute. I’m just wondering if you all read it the same as I did…that is that the DRIVER can’t leave.</p>
<p>Also, if they go without a lawyer to plead NG to the leaving the scene, can they appeal it if they lose? No sense in paying a lawyer since I read it as not applying here.</p>
<p>“12d(d)The driver of any vehicle which knowingly collides with or is knowingly involved in an accident with any vehicle or other property which is unattended resulting in any damage to such vehicle or other property shall immediately stop and shall then and there locate and notify the operator or owner of such vehicle or other property of the name and address of the driver and owner of the vehicle striking the unattended vehicle or other property or, in the event an unattended vehicle is struck and the driver or owner thereof cannot be immediately located, shall attach securely in a conspicuous place in or on such vehicle a written notice giving the name and address of the driver and owner of the vehicle doing the striking or, in the event other property is struck and the owner thereof cannot be immediately located, shall notify the nearest office of the local police department or of the county police of the county or of the State Police and in …”</p>
<p>Here is the penalties…I don’t know if the cop even knew this part…makes it worth a lawyer… don’t know if it can be plea bargained</p>
<p>39:4-129(b) Leaving the scene of accident involving damages to attended
vehicle or property-
First offense: Fine or imprisonment not exceeding 30 days, or both, and
suspension of driving privileges for six months from date of conviction
$200-$400.</p>
<p>One of our friends lives at a corner house WITH a stone wall. They always park an old, very heavy truck ouside the stone wall as extra protection because they have almost had a car drive through their living room several times. The heavy old truck has been totaled (and replaced) by cars that left the road in separate incidences, several times. I believe they are on their third truck. </p>
<p>I would be very nervous to live in their house, with it being an accident scene so many times. To look at their house and lot, you’d never guess it to be the scene of so many accidents and that cars have nearly driven through their living room. </p>
<p>Years ago I was on a jury. It was a DUI case. The charges were DUI and leaving the scene of the accident. This was the story: Defendant’s car was found in a ditch in an upscale country area. Defendant (maybe in his 40’s) was found walking about a mile away. He was drunk, never denied it. No one was hurt, defendant’s car was damaged, no other cars involved. The story we were given was: I was at a bar and drank too much, so I guy I met at the bar offered to drive me home. On our way there he ran off the road. He ditched me and the car. I don’t know his name, or where he went, or how to contact him. </p>
<p>We acquitted. We all actually agreed that he probably had been driving, but no evidence was presented that proved it. No witnesses, no cameras. His story was perfectly plausible, and certainly gave us reasonable doubt.</p>
<p>It’s very interesting how differently juries can view these things since that could so easily be seen as circumstantial evidence proving guilt. You just never know. </p>
<p>To clarify, he slid into the yard (not the pole) and hit the pole while backing out, as he didn’t realize there was a pole there. </p>
<p>He decided to say he was driving. He would not name whomever was driving. I am inclined to believe he was driving, but there is a chance someone else was and he is covering so they don’t get in trouble, maybe suspended license? Who knows. Anyway, he called the officer the next day, said that it was him and he just started the turn too late and slid on a patch of ice. He apologized for being uncooperative. He told officer that We went to the neighbor who was not at all upset by two relatively minor, yet obvious ruts in his yard. He left the officer a voice mail and did not actually,speak to him since the night of the incident.</p>
<p>Son received improper turn and failure to report, which is not as severe as leaving the scene. He is paying for the vehicle repairs and paying for the yard repair. Neighbor said he is welcome to help (son will do it, not just help, but neighbor may want to make sure it’s done right and help,too)</p>
<p>I advised son to think about what could have happened had he struck the pole and not the yard.</p>
<p>I haven’t been back until now because I know how judgmental, as opposed to helpful, some posters can be. I wanted to wait until I knew how it turned out. I will probably read the posts now that I know it will be ok. Thank you in advance to the posters with good intentions and advice. I can do without criticism.</p>
<p>Sounds like as good a conclusion as one could hope for. And thank you for coming back and telling us the rest of the story. I hate it when we are left hanging!</p>