<p>I am skeptical of story- I know my S wasn’t always truthful if he thought he might be in trouble, nor was I or was wife back at that age. “Cut off” at 2 a.m.? Lots of traffic then is there? Too much traffic for driver to slow down and avoid going off the road? But OP doesn’t want advice there. Ok.</p>
<p>agree with Himom and Harvestmoon. Assuming there are no injuries, this could be a great lesson for student. A close call, but no injuries, then S has to pay for all damages. He let her take the wheel- so its his bill. If he doesn’t have job get one, even if it’s mowing lawns or washing cars. It is a valuable life lesson about drinking and driving, and another one to make him pay for his mistakes. Student gets benefit of both lessons without a serious tragedy. Not all get that chance.
If he wants to claim it was girl driver’s fault, then let him go after the girl for reimbursement of repair costs -after- he has paid them to OP. And of course, he’ll have no car until this one is fixed. Treat him like an adult. With privileges come obligations.
It is metal and paint- not life or limb apparently, so let it be a lesson.</p>
<p>I hope you were able to get some sleep. I might consider letting son sleep until 10 and then try to bite my tongue until he is showered and dressed. After his shower, hug him and let him know you are very happy that he was mature enough not to drive. Tell him before you can talk you and he need to go to the crash site. Try really really hard to only talk about the facts. Take some pix while everything is still fresh. I don’t see how the girl skidding sideways into a light pole can cause that much damage. (maybe if the kids were doing those intentional 360 spins). I believe that HE needs to be the one to tell your H and whatever he has going on the day your H returns home needs to be rescheduled.</p>
<p>We had a situation last year with S1 involving alcohol, some out of state party he and friends just HAD to attend and having to appear in court. It took MANY conversations before the majority of the truth emerged.</p>
<p>Stay strong and when you get noticeably angered, frustrated or saddened by his story…don’t accept the snarky comment of “see this is why I don’t bother telling you what really happened”</p>
<p>I think by cut off he meant they thought the car was turning/going straight and it did the opposite.</p>
<p>My insurance is very good about accident forgiveness and we don’t have any claims except vandalism. An accident would hurt sons premiums in the future if he was driving, but I don’t expect a problem if he wasn’t.</p>
<p>Truck is probably worth 8k or so, so I doubt a total.</p>
<p>It got worse, police came to door at 430 am. Son (drunk and half asleep) stuck with girl driving but wouldn’t give her up. He says he’ll just say he did it. He doesn’t get it. Cop was very annoyed. Told him to call him when he finds out names of people and he’ll be back on a 6pm to finish invest and write report. Threatening with leaving the scene (it is 3 house down and lawn damage only–would most people call,the police or deal with it in the morning.)</p>
<p>I made calls to phone numbers I found on our verizon bill and to an adult friend who might have the number of one of the people (that may or may not have been there)</p>
<p>More concerned with the police today, and getting truck drive able ASAP.</p>
<p>I would bet large amounts of money on your son being the driver. I’m glad everyone is OK. Your son will need to come clean about the situation, pay for the damage to the lawn and accept the consequences of the damage to the truck. I’ve been around the block more than a time or two with my son… </p>
<p>ANY time there is an accident, you have to report it right away. I thought all adults knew this, but recently my running partner was rear-ended, and both parties left the scene (my friend didn’t want to miss our exercise class at the Y). She called the police later, and they were very annoyed. They said, “You are supposed to call immediately, from the scene.” They had to arrange a time for the two parties to meet with the police officer at the street intersection where the crash occurred.</p>
<p>We’ve told our kids this - I hope they listen.</p>
<p>I’m glad that your S wouldn’t give her up. He is a man of honor. I find it hard to believe that the cops would charge someone with leaving the scene when there was only one car involved, no injury, and the damage was to some grass. </p>
<p>I would suggest that your S go to the homeowner, apologize, and tell them that he will repair the damage or pay to have it done, if they prefer. That should mollify them. It is also the right thing to do.</p>
<p>As far as the truck is concerned, the window and the mirror need to be fixed. The dents and scrapes do not, unless they prevent one from opening the door. Rather than go for insurance, I’d have your son get some estimates and arrange and pay for getting it done.</p>
<p>Cleaning up after himself should be lesson enough. Meanwhile, assuming that his story is true, it is a good thing that he did not drive, and you should tell him that. (I’m all for the cab thing, myself. We told S that we would always come and get him, no questions asked. When they are away from home, paying for a cab makes sense.)</p>
<p>Sounds like another car was hit and reported the tag of your son’s car. Otherwise, how would the cops even know? </p>
<p>When you hit a tree or post, you don’t call the police unless the tree/post is now seriously damaged.</p>
<p>Even when you hit another car, if the damage is minimal and info is exchanged, you do not have to call the police unless someone is injured (in many/most states).</p>
<p>^^
Yes, that’s possible, now that I see that the accident happened only a few houses down from the OP. Still, wouldn’t the homeowner have just waited til morning and gone to the neighbor’s home? </p>
<p>If the homeowner SAW anything, then he may know whether there really was a girl driving. Did the cop believe that the girl was driving? Maybe he was told by the homeowner that a girl was there?</p>
<p>I agree that the story probably isn’t true which is why he’s now saying that he’ll just claim that he did it. There may be “no girl to blame.” </p>
<p>Something doesn’t pass the smell test. Am guessing the neighbors called the cops because maybe they thought it was vandalism (trenching the lawn) or something. But NOW the cops are involved. Bad bad BAD to lie to the cops, if thats what he is doing. Did the cops file a report? Did he sign anything? Did he get a ticket? Is he under age, and if so, did he ADMIT to underage drinking? This is becoming a bigger mess. If there really was a “girl” driving, he is not being “honorable” for refusing to talk to the police, he is being a fool, and potentially facing charges of DUI (if he admits to being drunk and driving, even without a breathalizer) and possibly filing a false report, if he gave a report to the cops. CALL YOUR ATTORNEY before he says another word! And if he hit a public lightpole there could be additional charges filed for damage to city/county property.</p>
<p>Leaving the scene of an accident is a felony or misdemeanor, in all states including Texas. Drunk driving is also a crime. The police are, reasonably, investigating potential crimes.</p>
<p>If this alleged female driver exists, I suspect she had been drinking as well. A girl goes out drinking with a bunch of guys, but she doesn’t touch a drop? Hmmm.</p>
<p>I’m concerned that he would sooner say he was driving than give the girl up. That makes me think he was probably driving. Or else, could the girl have thought she had too much to drink to drive, but the boys convinced her it was okay and now feel responsible? I’m not sure I understand how this accident could have happened the way they are saying. Good luck, OP. </p>
<p>If I witnessed somebody driving up my lawn and then flooring it into a light pole, I would probably assume they were drunk and call the police. Even if lawn damage is not so bad as to warrant dealing with it in the middle of the night, if I think they are drunk I’d be afraid they would keep driving and hit something else. Jury is out whether they were drunk or just stupid. I’m afraid I suspect drunk. </p>
<p>“Almost all kids mess up big and almost all kids try to lie about it or omit some facts.”</p>
<p>^ This. In high school I was teaching my friend how to drive a stick shift at a middle school in my sister’s car and she drove the car over a curb, down an hill and crashed into the school - missing a janitor who was just exiting a side door. The whole front of the car was crumpled. My parents would have been livid if I told them I, a newly licensed 16 yr. old, was teaching someone to drive anything! So, I told them I was driving and the gas pedal stuck. I don’t recall the police coming, but I assume they must have and I must have told them the same story. I finally told my parents and sister the truth a few years ago. </p>
<p>Then in college a friend took my car to drive a friend home. He had not been drinking, but had taken Quaaludes. He smashed into a parked car (diagonally parked) and my girlfriend shattered her leg in many places. I don’t remember what story I concocted for my parents, but it was definitely not the truth. My friend who was injured sued us for medical and pain and suffering (she had been in a horrific accident the year before and had shattered the same leg requiring pins and plates,) she got a huge settlement for p&s from the accident in my car. </p>
<p>Consolation- what are you thinking? You don’t withhold information from the police. That’s not being a “man of honor”. This is now a criminal investigation- hopefully a misdemeanor, but the plot is definitely thickening. </p>
<p>@njfootball – So glad your son was unharmed. I agree with other posters, it’s time to call your attorney and let him or her sort this out with your son. </p>
<p>It isn’t wise to refuse to divulge information to the police. If he won’t give you the girl’s name, and you are unable to confirm that his version of events is actually what happened, then it’s more than likely that he was driving himself and that presents you with a far more serious problem than some damage to your H’s truck. </p>
<p>My advice would be to contact your insurance company once you and your H have had a chance to sit down and have a serious discussion with your son. If there is damage to a neighbor’s lawn, damage to your truck, and who knows, perhaps even damage to a pole, you don’t want to be handling this yourself. If there’s more to the story, then even a bigger reason to let your insurance handle it. That is why you pay for insurance.</p>
<p>I lied once too as a young driver. Shortly after I got my license I (slightly) rearended somebody at an intersection. I was reaching for my gloves on the passenger seat, it was dark, I misjudged the distance-- stupid. There was no damage to her car and she was uninjured, I cracked my front bumper, knocked the ford emblem off, and twisted my ankle. The parents said they would not call the police since there was no damage to their car, didn’t take my insurance info, appeared not to look at my plate. Their D told me she had done something similar before so I guess they were exceedingly compassionate. I called my parents after they left in a frantic panic and told them I had been hit in the parking lot while I was in class-- at the time I didn’t even realize my ankle was injured, too much adrenaline. They said they were going to file a police report and an insurance claim. I was in a daze and didn’t properly hear them. By the time I had driven the 20 minutes home and had a chance to calm down I was in a dead terror over the police report instead and confessed to everything the minute I stepped through the door-- then I realized my ankle hurt.</p>
<p>I would hope most kids know when the police get involved it is time to tell mom and dad the truth. Fear makes people do bad things unfortunately. </p>
<p>I’m sorry! They do give us gray hair, don’t they? Hopefully, this is his one big stupid tax in life that he has to pay, and he will learn. At least he is ok. </p>
<p>I would go over and over and over the “no drinking” thing. Especially no drinking and driving - anyone. </p>
<p>Make him pay it out of pocket. The truck is 10 years old. It won’t be worth much in book value. </p>