<p>CountingDown, that’s such a nice story. They do need to be figuring out how to handle lots of things on their own. It’s hard to be on the sidelines, for sure, but how wonderful to hear his excitement. It probably seems like not so long ago that he was just as excited over tying his own shoes, right?</p>
<p>I definitely believe that differences in opinion on communication frequency between college freshmen and their parents (when there is no reason to believe that any lack of communication is due to anything other than a healthy push for independence amid a busy schedule) can only be resolved in the way that seems comfortable to the student. I have mourned not knowing the daily details of life of my D who was the type who wanted me around to talk when she got home from high school, but slowly I am accepting it. She does call occasionally now, always early afternoon when she is out of class but no one else is but fewer details of her life each time; H is really pushing her on the fact that he never gets to talk to her. I tried to cue her to occasionally call when he’ll be available and she did once, but he wants it more regularly. Both are now digging in their heels–“he expects too much,” “it’s not that hard to do”–and I told them I can’t continue to be their go-between. Truth is, the ball is really in D’s court, as a family pattern of us letting them call us was established when her older brother was a freshman, because the conversations were never satisfying when he had something else on his mind that we interrupted. I do think H has forgotten S didn’t call as much as a freshman as he has in subsequent years, like others have noted, and that 80% of his calls also occurred in the early afternoon when that was his “dead time.”</p>
<p>geezermom, he doesn’t tie his shoes. Seems to be a Y chromosome trait in this household. 
We can walk down the street and DH’s, S1’s and S2’s shoes are untied – but people make comments to ME. As if I haven’t noticed…</p>
<p>Seriously – so far, so good. Am not going to be so naive as to think it will always be this great. BTDT myself. In one of my emails, I told him I was glad we were on the List for Happy News, but that I also hoped he would remember to keep us on the Bad News and General Kvetching List, too.</p>
<p>I was talking to my mom the other week about S’s first weeks at college, and she said, “Yeah, I remember that. It’s always the hardest when the first one leaves.” (I was the first in our family.) In almost 30 years, she had NEVER shared how she felt about when I went to college, if I called enough, etc. She must have scars on her tongue from biting it so hard.</p>
<p>Time to call my mom more often!</p>
<p>I was so happy that son was too busy with new friends and activities to talk much. Second year and he’s still really happy with everything at his school.</p>
<p>I’ve learned not to call too often… I text instead - I usually text something like “how’s it going? give me a call when you get a chance…” I’ll get a call within 24 hours, and it’s when it’s good for HIM to talk, so we have a much better conversation.</p>
<p>mom2three - agree that texting REALLY helps. I even got a phone with a keyboard that makes it easier. So, for example, instead of worrying when he doesn’t call after driving back to school (“let me know you got there safe”) - I just text and ask “Made it OK?” Always get an immediate response and it doesn’t feel as intrusive as calling.</p>
<p>I text, write and/or call my soph S whenever I feel like it. That way I get to do what I want, i.e., share a thought, let him know I am thinking about him, etc. And, my experience has been when he really wants to share or discuss something with me, he does the same.</p>
<p>I simply do not measure his love, respect, appreciation, care or concern for me by if, and how often, he responds or initiates a contact with me on his own. Nor does he feel that I am guilt tripping him when I make contact and don’t hear back.</p>
<p>That works for me. And it seems to work for my S.</p>
<p>I’m not looking forward to this at all. My 17 yr old is just chomping at the bit to get out and have his own life. He thinks having a curfew and not being able to see his girl friend when ever he wants is really mean. I can see him sneeking back into town to visit her, and skipping the visit with us 
Hang in there. It’s got to get better, right?</p>
<p>Sophomore S. doesnt really know what a phone is and how to use it. What he doesnt mind (and at times even likes) is to chat online with us (at an hour that suits him of course). Hardly a day passes without having a (brief) chat. First of all he can do so without anyone knowing that he is talking to his parents. Also, like most kids these days he is a multitasker and chatting online doesnt stop him from doing all his other activities. The past few weeks these included: solving math problems, discussions with his roommates about the elections, getting the laundry out of the dryer, having a meal, working out, chatting with friends. Yes, it is annoying that it takes so long before he finally finishes his sentences. Yes, it does mean that we have to be online rather often. On the other hand it gives us the opportunity to know more about how he is feeling and what is going on in his life.</p>