Son likely moving to Seattle -- devastated parents need advice

Parent Cafe
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<p>Hippie Central with Bill Gates, Paul Allen, Howard Schultz and until recently Jeff Bezos all making their homes here?
King County made the top 10 counties in the country of most millionaires ( which you will need if you want to buy a house big enough to raise a family)</p>

<p>I wonder if you are thinking of Portland- Oregon. ;)</p>

<p>However, I would agree that the process seems to differ from the East and left coasts in getting anything done.</p>

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<p>I would be devasted if my child was sick, hurt, in Iraq, homeless, doing drugs, in prison, missing, etc.</p>

<p>I would not be devasted if they found a wonderful person whom they cared about, with a nice family and wanted to move to an amazing area, was living a good life and was a good person</p>

<p>Shift around the thinking a little bit, see the joy in your life and indeed how lucky you were to have him close for all these years</p>

<p>And if they move to Seattle- it will be fine!!!</p>

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There’s no point in aggravating the situation by making a comment like this since it’s obvious they could do this anyway just as they can move west now if they want to.</p>

<p>I understand your concerns however and expressed some of them in another thread once on the topic of one’s kids attending college on the other side of the country and the likelihood of them meeting someone there and settling there. But alas, what’s one to do? It’s either your S being away from the neighborhood or his future w being away from hers. </p>

<p>Do check out flights between your cities. If you plan ahead you might find some non-stops for relatively reasonable prices and remember that you can fly between the two cities in less time than it takes for me to drive to San Jose.</p>

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<p>Its a very small world. My younger son (almost 17) has a very best friend – they are as close as 2 teen boys can be – closer to eachother than they are to their own brothers. When they were 13, his friend moved to Australia. They have seen eachother 4 times since then… and speak on the phone at least 2x/week. I know a teen’s best friend isn’t the same as your own son. But its a very, very small world. And it gets closer every day. We’ve had the experience where the friend IM’d me, from Australia, and told me the score of a football game my own son was at in NY. They had just gotten off the phone. Trust me… its a small world… with cells, IMs, webcams…</p>

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<p>Definitely not hippie central! There are many folks in Bellevue (slightly east of Seattle) who would disagree with your statement. The Eastside is a mecca for the republican candidates to do their fundraisers. And if you like redneck lifestyle, you can find plenty of it my neck of the woods :wink: a bit north of Seattle.</p>

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<p>well, I’ve only visited Seattle, not any of the suburbs. I have never seen so many Macbooks in my life. Macbooks = hippies</p>

<p>I am from NY so my idea of a hippie may differ slightly from yours:
<a href=“http://seattlest.com/attachments/seattle_jeremy2/caphillblockparty2.jpg[/url]”>http://seattlest.com/attachments/seattle_jeremy2/caphillblockparty2.jpg&lt;/a&gt;
<a href=“http://do.palicio.us/blog/wp-content/uploads/2007/01/hipsterorspecial_2.jpg[/url]”>http://do.palicio.us/blog/wp-content/uploads/2007/01/hipsterorspecial_2.jpg&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;

<p>Future Hippie:
<a href=“http://farm2.static.■■■■■■■■■■/1266/1272315807_b2292be7d5.jpg[/url]”>http://farm2.static.■■■■■■■■■■/1266/1272315807_b2292be7d5.jpg&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;

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<p>“It is inevitable for couples from different places - someone’s family is left behind.”</p>

<p>Or in the case of virtually all of the professional couples that I know: The families of both are left behind. This includes people I know who moved to countries that neither of their parents live in. It’s now a very large world, and few ambitious people whom I know have stayed in their hometown area for all of their adult lives. This includes people who went to college in their hometowns.</p>

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<p>anyone who judges a whole city by the type of computer they saw…what can I say besides how ignorant</p>

<p>as for the picture…OMG, they weren’t in suit and tie, egad, run for the hills!!!</p>

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<p>Well, I was “devastated” 13 years ago when my husband and I decided to move to Seattle from New England… and now I wouldn’t move back. I love it here. My next door neighbor moved here from NY… as did her entire family, one family member at a time. (Her mother, her brother… they’re all here.)</p>

<p>There are relatively cheap non-stop flights from Boston to Seattle on Alaska airlines. It’s only 6 hours airport to airport!</p>

<p>You don’t have to shovel rain! We don’t get much skin cancer here, either.</p>

<p>Seriously, it’s a great place to live and raise children.</p>

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<p>WELL I apologize if the Seattle natives have a different style and different culture, which we refer to as hippies on the east coast. New York has Yuppies and Seattle has Hipsters. Big deal. Nothing to cry over.</p>

<p>[Turn</a> Left: Liberal Friendly Places - Seattle](<a href=“http://www.cjnetworks.com/~cubsfan/places/seattle.html]Turn”>http://www.cjnetworks.com/~cubsfan/places/seattle.html)
[Where</a> have Seattle’s lefties gone?](<a href=“http://seattlepi.nwsource.com/local/236320_liberal12.html]Where”>http://seattlepi.nwsource.com/local/236320_liberal12.html)</p>

<p>Oh Yes, I am the ignorant one. WRONG. According to all I have read Seattle has a far more liberal crowd than NY, New England, RI. Meaning that if an ultra conservative from New England moved to WA he/she may not feel quite at home. There is nothing wrong with being a hippie or a liberal. It is just that east and west coast cultures vary, they are different. Maybe you are right and I am ignorant for not believing anything the media tells me and judging based upon what I physically see. </p>

<p>Furthermore, If you have read any studies on Apple’s market share, you would see that writers, bloggers, & artists, and other folks who publish personal content on the web, the majority of whom are liberal republicans, are most likely to buy a mac over a PC. This especially true for liberals as they are more likely to purchase a mac, due to their views on Corporate America and beliefs that Microsoft still subjects customers to a monopolistic agenda. Walk into a Apple store and you are far more likely to see a hipster in a Ramones tee shirt, than you are to see a right winger in suit & tie.</p>

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<p>UriA702: please define your terms. What are hippies? To me, there are no hippies any more (even at Reed :wink: ), as they all grew up after the Vietnam war ended.</p>

<p>Do you mean people who use drugs? People who are “green” in their outlook? What does “hippies” mean to you? </p>

<p>I look around Seattle and its environs and I see people who love living in a city that has great access to a wide variety of outdoor activities both on land and on water (both fresh and salt)–as well as people who read more than in any other city in the US. ([Seattle</a> Ranks Most Literate City - 1/1/2006 - School Library Journal](<a href=“Library Journal”>Library Journal))</p>

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<p>UriA702 I believe you are a student, not a parent, correct? That would to some degree mitigate the rashness of your statements.</p>

<p>Here’s what my parents did. Sent all four kids to school on the East Coast for California. They each stayed, separately, in California. They trusted we would all move back to California, which, of course, we did. They live in houses bigger than they need, with swimming pools. Guess where all their kids have chosen to go on vacation??? With grandkids in tow…</p>

<p>And then there’s the summer vacations we take together in the mountains etc.</p>

<p>I think they are glad for what they did. Kids nearby, no parental pressure required.</p>

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<p>UriA702 – I don’t get it, the <em>hippie?</em> pics – but then, I live in the Bay Area . . .</p>

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<p>This is becoming a thread about Seattle but to get back to the OP: </p>

<p>I do not disagree with the general ‘strong roots and wings’ advice that has been given here, but there is a flip side: You have every right to feel devastated. I say, go ahead, let your son know how sad you are to see him go. Don’t let your New England stoic-ness prevent you from shedding some tears in his presence. </p>

<p>It looks like his parents-in-law are not holding back so much. In fact, you say they have been lobbying hard for the young couple to relocate. The last thing you want to do is to let your son think that “oh well, my parents are able to handle the separation better than her parents” when in fact you are secretly going to pieces.</p>

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<p>Environmentalists, PETA supporters, Hybrid drivers. “smug” folk. Maybe not so much political agenda, but the culture in Seattle differs much from parts of the country where attire is more conservative, the people generally have a different look and some people might not enjoy it. That is all I was trying to say, it is unfair to take my words out of context, which is usually done. Take a real corporate America suit and tie kind of guy and throw him onto a Fl beach in flip flops and a tee shirt, he might feel out of place. The same way a New Englander may feel out of place in the great state of Washington.</p>

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<p>Well in that case, is it fair for me to call you folks old fashioned and unaware of the issues that are developing as we innovate and expand our technological horizons? No, being a student does not make lessen or “mitigate” ones intelligence or tolerance. If you plan on bashing me why not the person who just associated New England with Stoicism?</p>

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<p>IMO there are at least as many “smug” anti-hippies as hippies.</p>

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<p>Dear devastated parents,</p>

<p>You need to understand that the job search process for recently-minted PhD’s is stressful enough, and parents really ought to do everything they can not to add to that stress by making anyone feel guilty.</p>

<p>The reality is that PhD’s who want an academic tenure track job may have to be very flexible about geography. Other suitable jobs for PhDs in industry may also be geographically limited. This is true whether or not there is a “significant other” involved. The number of openings relative to the number of new PhDs means that people can’t always be choosey about the location of academic jobs. </p>

<p>The so-called “two-body problem” academic job search can be a real challenge unless the “trailing spouse” has a highly portable career. </p>

<p>To get some insights into the PhD job search process, you might want to read some first person accounts. Google on “two-body problem” and “job search” and you’ll find a number of stories. Some turned out well and some turned out not so well. Even in those cases that turned out well, there was a lot of stress along the way. </p>

<p>Please don’t add to that stress! Just be supportive and encouraging and understanding of all the challenges they face.</p>

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<p>

Maybe not new ones but there are still a few of the old ones around. I’ve seen some in San Francisco and I saw a few at Venice Beach a few weeks ago. Their lifestyle (drugs) hasn’t been kind to them - they looked as ‘burned out’ as one can look.</p>

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<p>Looking way too far ahead into the future here, but if your son and the girlfriend get married and have children, the kids will have a much richer pool of experiences available to them regarding their Korean heritage here in the Seattle area than they would in New England.</p>

<p>It <em>is</em> a lovely place here, so your visits will not be dreadful :)</p>

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<p>Seattle-where passive-aggressive is an artform. Today’s unusal sunshine notwithstanding, the weather here can be hard to take. The summer was crappy and lasted all of three weeks or so. Counting the days until we leave for good. But they need to go where they need to go. The economy is very good right now.</p>