<p>Working through it, I guess it is really important to me to see him walk. Wish me luck - he is VERY strong-willed!</p>
<p>This will be hard for your son to understand now, but he doesn’t know how he will feel 10 or even 20 years down the road about a decision like this. One of my best friends from high school later committed suicide. I am so very glad I had those last times with her at the end of our high school career together.</p>
<p>I could tell you wanted him to walk, OP. Since he’s supposedly sparing you and others from the boringness of it all, assure him that to YOU it will NOT be boring and in fact a highlight in his life for you and his relatives. Tell him that it’s actually not all about him. My S hates attention and is even probably on the spectrum as his father and uncle are. But even he invited us to his boot camp grad. His HS was alternative and did not have a ceremony. He understood though it was not his thing, WE wanted to see the moment.</p>
<p>Good luck @westcoastmomof2. I have a strong willed son as well, so I know the whole routine!</p>
<p>If it’s important to you, be honest about it. State your reasons why it’s important to you, then ask him to think about it for 24 hours before responding. That avoids a fight and drawing of lines on the spot… which might give him room to change his mind.</p>
<p>I’d be torn over this asa mom but in high school, college and grad school I was in your son’s place. Don’t like crowds, not a ceremony person, boring, “done with it”, etc. Did it all times nonetheless. </p>
<p>strong - willed doesn’t have to mean insensitive…I would tell him you want to be there, it’s important to you even if that seems silly, and ask him to,think about it and talk with gf, then check in a week later. Gives him some time to reframe his ideas and be part of the process. I also suggest telling him you are prepared to go alone, to see the ceremony. But there’s nothing wrong with asking him to do this for your sake. In 10 years he won’t care that he was bored and hot , but you may still feel a pang of loss. </p>
<p>Hmm, I did HS, but not college or grad school. College was huge class, so just a stand up then sit down thing. My parents never said anything. It wasn’t a big deal to them. </p>
<p>When my son graduated college, it was a big deal to me. Not only do they walk, but each House has its tradition. There is a free lunch, then a reception at the President’s House, then a dinner. Son had arranged for us to sit with his close friends and their families. When I invited my sister to come as my guest, she declined initially. She too had skipped her graduation for BA and MA. Her friend convinced her to go, and she too felt the difference between impersonal huge ceremonies, and more intimate ones. I was flattered that the President said he had come to know my son well, as my son was an UG member of a certain committee. Also nice to eat with a few of his profs. </p>
<p>I sincerely hope I can be the proud mother if and when he finishes grad school.</p>