<p>Sorry in advance for the long post.</p>
<p>My son has a friend (John- not his real name) who is being raised by his (young) GPs. For the past (almost) 2 years, they have been going around and round on what he can and can't do. They kick him out for violations- not walking the dog or cleaning his room. Or he leaves because he's had enough of the games they play. He's no angel- he's 18 and a typical teenager looking for boundaries. DS has told me that John will antagonize GPs over some of the things they want him to do. GPs do the same- if they call he has 10 seconds to appear and say- yes sir, or yes, ma'am.</p>
<p>Every time John leaves (moves out), the GPs call the parents of the places he lives at and tells the parents 'stories' of John's transgressions. Most of the parents then tell John to leave, and his GPs then ask him to come home.</p>
<p>I know I only see the good side of John when he comes over for the all nighter's that DS has with his friends- playing online games. From what I can see John and his GPs have a toxic relationship.</p>
<p>I want to offer John a place to stay while he finishes out his school year- he is graduating early- this December from the alternative program the high school offers. He then wants to join the military.</p>
<p>I would like to get him out of his home is because of the latest situation- son and I went to pick John up at his house. DS went inside to help John get his computer. We got almost home and he gets a phone call from GP- come home now, you didn't clean your room well enough. Turns out, John had left a pot of rice on the stove with a lid on it. Rice was cooked- he had made it for his brother. Stove was turned off, rice just wasn't put away. he also had two pairs of jeans on the floor in his closet.</p>
<p>Ds tells me the GPs took the rice poured it on John's bed, took the trash out of the trashcan and poured it on the bed, found some dog poop, put it on the bed, added all his clothes- clean and dirty.... and then told John his room was messy and he couldn't go over to friends house.</p>
<p>DS has a picture of the mess that John sent him. DS says when he went inside the first time, that John's room was neat and clean. Everything in its place.</p>
<p>Yesterday, John had asked DS if he could get a ride to the bank so he could deposit his check. I asked John if it would help if another person talked with his GPs. He says they (the GPs) have told him they better not get any more phone calls from his friends parents. (Other parents have called to talk to John's GPs). Nothing ever comes from it.</p>
<p>From what I have seen JOhn is a normal teenager- someone who doesn't always make the best choices, but also not someone who should be treated like this. I have talked with DS about the possibility of letting John move in with us until he graduates HS. DS, like me, is a little on the fence. Says John isn't the brightest bulb in the bunch and some of the things he does on purpose to antagonize his GPs. He also doesn't think he should stay at GPs house, but isn't sure how John would behave if he lived with us.</p>
<p>Hubby and I have talked about this before- the last time John was kicked out. We were on the fence about it. I was going to bring it up to hubby again, but think I need some advice from the CC community. Has anyone ever taken in a 'troubled kid' and what were the ground rules you had in place before the kid moved in?</p>
<p>My thoughts were to have a sit down discussion with John (if we do this) and talk about expectations- on both sides. Maybe even have a contract of some sort- so we can agree up front on what we expect from him and what he can expect from us.</p>
<p>Any more ideas or suggestions?</p>