<p>Son’s girlfriend will be visiting our home for a few days. He asked if she can stay in his room. I said no, my husband thinks I should reconsider. He is 21, they have dated a few months in college. What do you think?</p>
<p>What is your objection?</p>
<p>I think that you and your husband set the rules for what you feel comfortable with in your home.</p>
<p>Ack… I would say no, but I bet I will be in the minority.</p>
<p>I think in general that would be awkward unless you are familiar with her & they have been going out longer than a few months.</p>
<p>If you don’t have a guest room, could she sleep on the couch?</p>
<p>It wouldn’t fly in my house, but that’s just me.</p>
<p>I say “your house, your rules”. In my house my rule would be no.</p>
<p>I will join the minority - if they are not officially married (OK, engaged would be OK too), they will be staying in separate rooms.</p>
<p>It’s difficult to know for sure unless I were in that position but, unless they were at least engaged, I don’t think it would fly in my house, either. If there’s no guest room, I suggest son sleeps on the couch and girlfriend sleeps in his bed.</p>
<p>I think everyone is across the board on this one. I can’t imagine caring myself, but then again, I’m not religious/don’t have a moral issue if everyone in the picture is an adult. </p>
<p>Is it against your religious beliefs? What feelings would you have if you let them- guilt, anger, awkwardness? Would you feel differently if he was 30/if they dated a year/if this wasn’t the first time this has come up/if they were engaged/if you met the GF before? Maybe answering those questions to yourself might help you nail down the exact issue you are dealing with, to make it easier to figure out what to do. </p>
<p>As I see it, it’s your house so what are you most comfortable with? I would personally find it more uncomfortable making it into “an issue” during this visit than anything else. But that is just me.</p>
<p>I have never met her. </p>
<p>I am just not comfortable with it, and although I think my reaction is a little silly, I can’t help how I feel.</p>
<p>We do have a guest room she can stay in.</p>
<p>I was starting to feel that maybe I am too old-fashioned or unreasonable in my reaction, but I see I am not alone. It shouldn’t matter, but that makes me feel better.</p>
<p>Your house, your rules. Period.</p>
<p>Answer would be NO here as well.</p>
<p>And yes, it would make a difference if he were older, and I had met her, and they were living together. </p>
<p>I don’t have moral objections exactly. I know (assume) they sleep together at school. I am just not comfortable with it in my house at this time.</p>
<p>I appreciate all your input!</p>
<p>One rule that has always been in my family, the only people that can easily have sex in the house are the parents. It’s not like they won’t do it, but I am not putting out a red carpet for it.</p>
<p>I think the minority is actually the majority. 
We recently spent xmas at an mt inn. & while I originally was going to see if we could squeeze into one big room ( with D1 & BF), we got a good deal on adding another room, with two queen beds & as the couch bed that D2 was going to sleep on in our room wasn’t comfortable- she ended up sleeping in her sisters room.</p>
<p>Of course D1 is 28 & in grad school, and they are serious enough to have BFs parents fly them back for a few visits- ( assuming they share a room there- but I never asked)</p>
<p>I would imagine that the girl would be more comfortable in a guest room as well- ( even if it is basically a formality)
& if you have never even met her- I think that most parents would offer the guest room. That’s what it’s for!
:)</p>
<p>Put her in the guest room. She is a guest and if she is like most women she will want a place with a little privacy to get dressed, put on make-up, check for panty lines, etc. Men think about the sleeping arrangements, women need space for other things. Tell your son that every guest needs a place to get away from all the hustle and bustle of an unknown family. </p>
<p>In addition, a young friend was telling me that a couple years ago she went home with her boyfriend for the first time. His mother put her in his room – she said it made her feel like his mother thought she was tramp.</p>
<p>It wouldn’t bother me, and hasn’t when it’s been a similar situation with any of my Ds, but if you feel uncomfortable, let your son know. I think the until-they’re-engaged-or-married rule is a silly one.</p>
<p>not happening in my house</p>
<p>I’d put her stuff in the guest room, and after that it is DADT.</p>