<p>“Moving on from the snark-fest, did anyone here give their spouse a wedding gift?”</p>
<p>I did. I got him gold cufflinks engraved with his initials. He got me a necklace with a sapphire & diamond pendant. </p>
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<p>Something similar happened to me–not with my wedding ring, but another ring that H got me one Christmas. The ring had to be resized so I took it to the jeweler. PIcked up the ring and put it on. When I got home later in the day, I looked down and the stone (an emerald) was gone?? I didn’t bump anything or hit the ring–jeweler did nothing. Said I must have done something to it. </p>
<p>I got my husband a watch for our engagement and I selected and paid for his wedding ring. I thought he would want something very simple, so that’s what I chose and he loves it. I had it engraved on the inside, which he also appreciated. His job doesn’t present any obstacles to wearing his wedding ring like some careers could, so he rarely takes it off.</p>
<p>I think the example I presented of a woman “demanding” a certain size ring “or you can just forget the whole thing” and Oldfort’s daughter and boyfriend waiting to commit until they can achieve their financial goals (paying off student loans, saving for a ring, saving for a nice apartment), are two completely different things. The first example took zero consideration of the groom’s finances and gave him an ultimatum, while Oldfort’s daughter’s and boyfriend’s actions are all about goal setting and delayed gratification. JMO.</p>
<p>In answer to a poster’s question, no, the couple I mentioned are no longer married, though I wouldn’t put the blame for that on her demand that he not dare show up with less than 2 carats in his hands.</p>
<p>Ha. I will never be apologetic about getting a new ring. We were engaged and married when poor (in residency) but with the potential for much higher future earnings. imo to either wait or just keep wearing the old ring forever doesn’t make sense if neither person has an issue with it. I love my newer ring (which is now fifteen years old), and I have two beautiful rings. We could only afford an inexpensive band for him with really sharp edges; years later I was able to buy him a comfort-edge band. Should I not have done that and let him suffer because of sentiment? No! </p>
<p>Wow, one never knows which post will attract a lot of attention.</p>
<p>Although I do not like the idea of “demanding” an expensive gift, I would become curious if a $450Kper year income fiance showed up with a tiny ring… is he very frugal? in great debt? It would make me want to inquire more about his views and finances if a tiny gem was a total surprise.</p>
<p>I have a nice but small diamond from my first marriage. Funny thing is, the GF’s mom was married before, too. So there are likely two “spare” diamonds. Are “divorce” diamonds as bad as blood diamonds ?</p>
<p>I have been the primary breadwinner for our entire marriage, and am by no means a “princess.” But the absence of any "special treatment"due to my gender has caused some rough patches in our marriage. My MIL was raised on a farm and grew up doing farm chores with the men. At 80 she was with her H, putting in the dock at their lake house. She has never been helped with her coat, never had doors opened for her, never had the groceries carried in; it has never phased her because of her upbringing, and that is what H observed growing up. My dad was the opposite, opening car doors for my mom until literally his dying day, always meeting the car to carry in the groceries. I guess what I’m saying in this rambling post is that in some way, people need to communicate their expectations because without this, you will be inclined to treat your spouse the way your mother/father was treated by their spouse.</p>
<p>I gave my H a nice watch as a wedding present. Several years later he left it in his suit pocket and the dry cleaners stole it. “Oh, no, we didn’t find anything.” Yeah, right.</p>
<p>I’ve bought H watches before but they always stop.</p>
<p>“I’ve bought H watches before but they always stop.”</p>
<p>Me too. I’m thinking about getting Mr B a nice watch for Christmas. I hope it will not be ruined in a week by the magnetic field like the previous watches! </p>
<p>Slightly OT, but I’m wondering if anyone else is like this. Does anyone else <em>not</em> have an engagement and wedding ring (whether joined together or not). </p>
<p>My mom’s first wedding ring (with my dad) was a tiny diamond that she never wore. No wedding band. A few years ago, he bought her another one that is also just a single ring- no engagement and wedding band. </p>
<p>I do not want a wedding band. I can’t picture a way that my engagement ring would look good with a wedding band so I’m just sticking with the single, unaltered ring. </p>
<p>Anyone else? </p>
<p>I only wear my diamond ring. It has a very wide shank and no wedding band. Or, it’s also the wedding band. Or, something like that…</p>
<p>I used to wear my engagement ring without my band, because I liked the way it looked. I would go back and forth. I have a co-worker who has a lot of pretty rings, and she switches rings out and doesn’t wear a traditional band or engagement ring. I think you can pretty much do whatever you want! If you do just wear the engagement ring, be prepared for all the questions about when you are getting married!</p>
<p>My husband got me a lovely engagement ring 30 years ago. I loved it except for the fact that it was huge. My finger is a 3 1/4 and the ring was a 6 because his mother said that was appropriate. During a very down period of unemployment for him with kids, I had to sell it. being only an object, I should have better priorities, but it is still physically painful for me when I think about it. I’m not really a “thing” person, but that ring meant a lot to me and I will always miss it. But one does what one has to do and I guess things would have been much worse if I didn’t have it to sell.</p>
<p>On a happier note, my future SIL has asked for my D’s hand and has the ring. I’ve seen it. She hasn’t. He is a little unsure about how to propose. Should be interesting.</p>
<p>My wedding band did not exactly match the color of my engagement ring, even though it was custom made to fit the engagement ring. It didn’t look right to me. I finally quit wearing the wedding band. Funny, no one has ever commented or asked me when I’m getting married. Maybe because of my age? Of course, women my age get engaged, but it’s more expected that you’d be young, I guess.</p>
<p>My parents gave H a Movado watch for an engagement present and they gave me a necklace with links of white gold, pink gold & reg? gold. </p>
<p>I also often wear a jeweled wedding band that was my grandmothers when I don’t feel like wearing my gold band/engagement ring/ring guard. </p>
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<p>I wouldn’t assume every woman keeps her engagement ring after getting divorced. Sometimes the man will demand “his” ring back. (Which further adds to my uneasiness about the idea of engagement rings in the first place–they really are an unequal sign of “ownership,” with the rights belonging only to the men.)</p>
<p>Today is our 33rd anniversary. I am wearing the same ring that I received for engagement and the band part on our wedding day. About a year ago, after 32 years of wear, I could feel that the back of my ring (the engagement ring and wedding ring kind of “lock” together and were soddered together) was getting so thin that it was about to literally break. </p>
<p>I took it to our local jeweler for repair - they tried to talk me into just scrapping the setting and picking something new with the diamonds (and maybe I would like “upgrade or add more diamonds!” they said…) No desire! This is “my” ring picked out and planned by “us” - it’s not overly showy, but it’s more about the significance. </p>
<p>The happiest of happy anniversaries, abasket!</p>
<p>For our engagement, I gave H two pairs of shoes, two pairs of slacks and shirts. He gave family pork and Chinese pastries. I also got a lovely engagement that I’ve worn since. </p>
<p>For wedding, we bought ourselves big matching samsonite rolling suitcases for our 5-week honeymoon, that we paid for. We also bought matching plain gold narrow comfort band wedding rings, which our jeweler friend engraved inside. </p>
<p>Having Anniversary abasket and Mr. abasket!</p>