<p>I think this topic has gone off topic. Is it about calling girls derogatory names?</p>
<p>Well that does seem to be the primary reason for the OP. When her younger son took it upon himself to disparge his brothers girlfriend to their mother & used loaded & offensive language to do so.</p>
<p>Because of that language, she now is questioning her older sons romantic relationship although he is an adult, apparently because he is still living under her roof and so she is privy to details of his personal life that she otherwise wouldn’t know about.</p>
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<p>Who says you can’t say that? You can say anything you want for the most part. But the “I’m just being honest” is not some kind of force field that will protect you from others taking issue with your honest opinions. As to the terminology S2 used, just because “lots of guys” use that terminology doesn’t mean others have to accept it without comment, nor does it mean anyone else thinks their kids are perfect. Isn’t there a whole lot of middle ground between being “perfect” and sexist and demeaning? I would hope so.</p>
<p>Wow, really illustrates the difficulties of being a young woman today. You’re a whore if you have sex outside of a committed relationship, and needy and clingy if you need to be in a committed relationship before having sex. Can’t win. Mom, just let the analytics go, the kids are fine. </p>
<p>No I really used to be a bad girl
I got busy in the bathroom at my high school prom
Yeah, I used to be a dancer at the local strip club
But now I know my right wing from my wrong
Yeah, yeah
I really used to be a bad girl
I had a threesome with my sister and her boyfriend Tom
I know I used to be a real wild child
But now I am a Volvo-driving soccer mom</p>
<p><a href=“http://lyrics.wikia.com/Everclear:Volvo_Driving_Soccer_Mom”>http://lyrics.wikia.com/Everclear:Volvo_Driving_Soccer_Mom</a></p>
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<p>It isn’t necessarily about “tender sensibilities” as you’re implying so much as many of us understand it isn’t a word a well-brought up individual…especially one with some education ought to be using. </p>
<p>I say this as someone who grew up in what was once a rough working-class NYC neighborhood where worse cuss words were routinely tossed out…along with dealing with the actual realities of violent crime and drugs(80’s crack epidemic). </p>
<p>Nonetheless, most parents who wanted better for their kids…including my own refused to tolerate any use of such words by us kids period at the risk of punishment. In the Catholic Schools of that era(1980’s)…including the elementary school I attended, if the teachers/admins found out a student was using that word…he/she would have his/her mouth washed out with soap and water in front of the entire class as punishment and to make an example of him/her. </p>
<p>There’s also the factor that in the machismo-laden culture of the neighborhood, spreading negative rumors about someone else period was considered a sign of dubious character and extremely unbecoming of someone…especially if it was a male doing it. </p>
<p>Doing the former would prompt other boys to tell him to “shut up” with some threats of fists at best. And woe to any boy/teen dumb enough to use that word against someone’s sister as he could end up experiencing a beatdown from the brother, older male relatives, and their friends and tossed into the nearest dumpster. </p>
<p>^^ yes - cobrat’s post</p>
<p>“Are you people that sheltered that you don’t know that guys talk about girls like that sometimes? Maybe they just don’t let you know…”</p>
<p>This is where the whole board gets interesting to me: when we assume our own experience is universal. My college graduate sons don’t talk like that about girls ever, in front of me or with their friends. I would like to think this is because of how I raised them. However, I imagine their same age peer group has a greater impact on what language they use. They have many female friends who would probably not be their friends if they ever heard my sons those words. Probably male friends, too.</p>
<p>I am not sheltered. Labeling women with negative, value laden words, or objecting to such labels, has nothing to do with being sheltered or not. imho Generally at home I talk like a sailor. I don’t usually object to colorful language.</p>
<p>This is why important matters should not be left to chance. Prospective love interests for all of my children must apply, in writing. We decided, a few years ago to accept the common application - with great results. My kids selectivity has shot through the roof, although the yield has remained low in almost all instances (my youngest daughter is a bit of a wild card). </p>
<p>Standardized testing (including genetic), GPAs, course rigor, class rank (social, not academic), dental health, and overall athleticism are very important. Social skills, drug use, and small motor skills are considered.</p>
<p>Interviews are granted on a case by case basis and may include a full physical examination.</p>
<p>^ My DS13 might be interested . Are you going to give a dowry? 
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<p>Genes are such liars. According to mine, I should be a red head. No such luck 
lol </p>
<p>I can be called a lot of things but sheltered is most certainly not one of them. I’m close to your son’s age and I know what people my age say. I also know how little tolerance many women my age have for derogatory names, even of other women. Your son didn’t offend me. It takes way more than a word to offend me (no one on cc has ever managed to offend me) but that doesn’t mean I can’t call out a derogatory word when I see it. No reason to tolerate that IMO. </p>
<p>Romani, do both your parents have red hair?
Neither of my kids have red hair.
I thought they might since my mil hair is reddish, but it was tinted.
Disappointing.</p>
<p>Romani, My sister has brown hair and her husband has blonde hair but all three of their daughters have red hair although not the same color of red hair. I think the red gene blends with other hair color genes?..So maybe your kids will end up with red hair. </p>
<p>Red is recessive after ALL the other colors.
Both parent have to be carriers.</p>
<p>Lol. No, my mom’s a dirty blonde and dad has jet black hair. I have brown hair that turns brown-red in the summer. My genes just “predicted” I was ginger with blue-grey eyes. Half right. </p>
<p>My fiancé’s a ginger though so I’m going to live vicariously through our children… hopefully 
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<p>If other direct relatives of your parents have red hair, they still might be carrying a gene as both black & blond are dominant over red.</p>