Son's Suicide

Parent Cafe
1

<p>A few months ago my son committed suicide. I can’t even begin to describe what my previous beautiful life has become. I felt we were doing fairly well until the holidays hit. Now it seems that instead of things getting better, it is getting worse, if possible. I’ve read everything I can get my hands on about depression and suicide. While part of me is glad that he is no longer in pain, of course the rest of me wishes it didn’t have to come to this. My son was very good at hiding his distress from others. I think he was seeing a counselor at his college (he said he was) but I don’t know for sure. I am seeing a counselor as are my other children. My husband is not. As my counselor tells me, everyone grieves differently so I am trying to allow him the space to do what he needs to do. We do not communicate about our grief. Yesterday the straw that broke the camels back and moved me from my usual spot on the couch up to the bedroom for the day was that my Droid phone seems to have deleted all the pictures on my phone. Many of these were of my son, including the last time the family was together. Normally I would brush something like off. </p>

<p>Anyone have any resources that may help our family through this?</p>

2

<p>I am so very sorry and my heart hurts for you. It is good you are in counseling. Can you connect with.others who have lost children like this? I will be thinking of you and your precious family. <3</p>

3

<p>I cannot imagine the pain you are going through. My thoughts are with you. I agree with pearl, try to find a suicide survivor support group you can become a part of. Local mental health facilities or suicide hotlines should be able to give you resources. </p>

<p>As for your pictures- sometimes those things can be recovered. Especially if you had any removable memory on your phone. Google smartphone data recovery and see if there is a place online or close to you that may be able to get those pictures back for you.</p>

4

<p>I am so sorry for your loss. So sorry. </p>

<p>Make sure you have lots of room in your PM box. My prediction is that many of your responses will be private.</p>

5

<p>I am sorry for your loss. You will be in my thoughts.</p>

6

<p>You have my deepest sympathy. Please know you are in my prayers.</p>

7

<p>I am so sorry for your great loss, heavyheart. People I know in a similar situation have found support in the Compassionate Friends, an organization for parents who have lost a child (of any age/cause). Wishing you the best. [Home</a> Page ? The Compassionate Friends](<a href=“http://www.compassionatefriends.org/home.aspx]Home”>http://www.compassionatefriends.org/home.aspx)</p>

8

<p>First, I am so sorry for you and your family.</p>

<p>When my brother died a few years ago, against my mother’s first instincts, I found her a support group to go to where she would be with other people, unfortunately, just like her.
While your getting counceling, I’m sure it is helping, but no one other than those that have been through the same thing can really understand the death of a child, even a councelor.</p>

<p>I found the Support Group Compassionate Friends for my mother and she went every week. It was a group of parents that have lost their children to suicide, drugs or just natural causes. Ages from the children ranged from newborn to “adult children” in their 30s.
I went with my mother every week and while I walked out emotionally drained for honestly two days each time we went (I have 2 children), my mother was always so happy she went. She had a place where she can go, be sad, talk about her feelings to those that understood. </p>

<p>Some parents had to be strong during the week for their living children, spouses, work, etc. and I remember someone saying that they try to function all week and know on Wednesdays they could come to Compassionate Friends and feel bad, cry and talk to others, but as you are sadly aware, each person grieves differently.</p>

<p>It was a very well run Support Group and it also had a “sub” group made for siblings of deceased childen and I would encourage you to look to see if you have a chapter where you live. I know from my mother, it doesn’t get better but it gets different and you can eventually get to a place where you can be there for your living children. I’ve heard so many people in the group complain about the councelors or other people saying time to move on, it’s been long enough, I felt the same way with my spouse, grandparent, etc. PLEASE do not listen to them since they have never been in your position. </p>

<p>The holidays are a very tough time and may be so for some time. This year (after 3 years) my mother was finally able to listen to Christmas music. I’m sorry about your pictures I am sure it is tough especially around this time of year. Please let me know if you have any questions.</p>

9

<p>It seems like this is such a crucial age for mental health issues, as we’ve seen several posts on the topic. Thanks for posting, heavyheart, and my prayers are with you.</p>

10

<p>I’m so sorry for your loss, HH. I can’t imagine your pain. I also recommend The Compassionate Friends. A few years ago, a good friend’s teenage son committed suicide, and I know this support group has been immensely helpful to her.</p>

11

<p>no recommendations but so sorry for your loss!</p>

12

<p>Heavyheart, i’m so sorry for your loss. You are doing then right thing to reach out for help. And while the pain never really goes away, time has a way of helping us move on.</p>

13

<p>So very, very sorry to read of your loss. Even if I tried, I’m sure I couldn’t begin to comprehend what you and your family are going through. Prayers to all.</p>

14

<p>Heavy Heart, I am so very sorry for your loss. It is heartbreaking to hear of any parent going through this horrible and tragic time. I wish I had something to say that would be of help other than seeking support of others who have been in the same situation. This is the worst nightmare a parent could ever live through and it will take lots of time and support to be able to see yourself and your family through this. I am sending hugs to you as I am sure every parent who knows you, or is reading this, wants to do the same. Bless you and your family. </p>

<p>I really understand how erased pictures could have landed you in bed. I hope you are up from the bed now and instead of laying there find a trusted friend or relative to spend a few hours with. Is your husband home with you or is he at work?</p>

15

<p>I cannot imagine what you and your family are going through. Thoughts, prayers for healing and hugs extended to you. May time help to ease your pain and I hope that you can at some point focus on better memories than the sorrow you must be feeling now.</p>

16

<p>HH, I am so very sorry for your loss. You might like to talk a bit about your son on cc, and if you do I will read it. Please take care of yourself. I will be thinking about you.</p>

17

<p>I am so sorry. I, too, have heard wonderful things about Compassionate Friends. My son has lost several peers to suicide, and it is so hard to understand and so sad. My thoughts and prayers will be with you and your family.</p>

18

<p>My heart goes out to you during this difficult time. It seems holidays bring out such memories and emotions, and maybe even guilt. You want to enjoy the holidays with your family but are still grieving for your son. I can’t imagine everything you are going through right now. I hope you are able to continue with counseling and maybe you can convince your husband, gently, to go with you. You may need to share your sorrow with him and he may need this opportunity to open up, even though he may not want to do so. Perhaps you could tell him it would help you to have him be there with you and maybe that will make him feel that he is also doing something to help you, he may not know how to do that and in the end hopefully both of you can find some peace or at least support from one another. I understand about the pictures. I have a voicemail on my phone from my father before he passed away that I have saved for three years. I know how I would feel should that get lost somehow. I hope they can be recovered. Please know that there are others out here who are thinking of you and hoping that things will be better for you.</p>

19

<p>I am so sorry for your loss. As others have said, a support group may provide some comfort to you. Take things one day at a time. My prayers are with you.</p>

20

<p>I am so, so sorry, Heavyheart.</p>