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Sigh. I probably do a lot of things that people are complaining about in this thread.
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@nottelling lol…buy hey, isn’t it more enlightening reading what annoys people so as to become more aware rather than hearing it from spouses? I think hearing about them in “neutral zone” thread is more likely going to convince us that the annoyances are real, rather than exaggerated from spouses.
I think I learned a lot while growing up reading about people’s complain in Dear Abby and Ann Landers daily columns. Those two addressed everything in life.
I think I’ve mentioned this complaint, but it does drive me crazy…
When I cook a meal, particularly if it’s a fish dish, I expect that it will get eaten in a timely manner. However, H will say something like, “just sit in the microwave and I’ll reheat it later,” because he’ll be focused on something he’s reading on his laptop or something… ugh…who wants reheated fish? Nasty!
This happens even if I get verification from him that we’ll be eating at X time.
Lol, m2ck! When Mr. gets absorbed in his research… I take the plate and put it in front of him. Remeber “TV dinners”? I serve “laptop dinners.” He usually gets the mesage and migrates to the dining table, laptop and all! Right now, this is what I have sitting on the kitchen table: 2 laptops, a pile of scientific article reprints, a bag with plastic thingies and tubing, a case of some sort of “sensors,” and god knows what else! As long as there is room for the dinner dish… But - the formal dining room tabletop is off limits! (Because that’s where I spread out with my stuff).
Mr Kayak thinks not shaving is no big deal even when I tell him he looks bad - drives me nuts since I’m stuck looking at it, not him. Goes from looking professional for work shaving during the wk to a bum on weekends.
And then I said, " I guess it’s good that he at least clears his own place but it bothers me because for at least two dozen years I told him it bothered me. I gave up a while back and now load up the dishwasher myself." So obviously this isn’t a deal breaker for me either. I thought this thread was about just that kind of stuff.
H has always saved our leftovers in a way that bugs me and ruins them for me. He takes the smallest dish possible and he stuffs them in. The texture is ruined. I cannot count how many Pizzas he wrecked in our first 10 yrs as he would put pieces face to face while they were still warm. He did stop that. He claims I do not understand space. We almost had an issue tonight but he realized that I was not giving up ( mentioned that if I cook for him then I get the say on the leftovers) and he took a too big bowl and put the leftovers in. It is a visual thing for me --and now this pretty broccoli dish looks inviting. He will bring this up sometime when he needs to prove how difficult I am :-"
Many nights I only make dinner because he needs it and he does appreciate that.
He just left for a concert and made his stressful face–I know he will see others there from his own choir but is not use to going it alone. When asked about it he said (kidding but then?) that he knew I would be lonely tonight.
Perhaps it bothers him that I am not? hmmm something new to poder. He knows I want to be alone often and that his semi retirement was a huge adjustment to me last year. I suppose it is hurtful that I am just fine when he is away…but I do enjoy our activities together.
This typically normal man becomes a stark raving lunatic during every Notre Dame football game. Yelling, cursing you name it. And still he wonders why nobody in the family will watch a game with him.
my guess is that when another adult leaves behind a “mess” (dirty dishes, crumbs or spills on the counter, dirty socks on the floor, etc), the other spouse can feel like he’s saying, “it’s YOUR job to clean up after me.” …as if the other spouse (often the wife) is some sort of lower class citizen in the household.
The appetizer comment reminded me of a bad habit that my husband no longer does. Often when I order a dinner a a restaurant, I will get full before my plate is empty. I’ll make a calculation about what portion I should stop at to allow for a lunch (or maybe a dinner) later in the week. My office is not close to any restaurant, and I have a short lunch break so I always pack a lunch. I very much like not making a lunch, but bringing in left overs. Anyway for a few years my husband thought that my restaurant meal leftovers were free game. I told him that a few times, but he must not have realized I was serious, but he finally got it and now will only take it/eat it if I specifically tell him to.
I usually think of appetizers as a group food, but it’s not uncommon among my husband and our friends to order individual appetizers for a meal. If only one person is getting an appetizer, to eat as an appetizer, I would probably find that funny, because you would have just one person eating while the rest are not.
I forgot this very very annoying thing he does, but now that it’s election season I remembered it:
When someone on TV with whom he does not agree is speaking, he talks back while the person is still talking. He does this during State of the Union speeches, presidential debates, and interviews on shows like Meet the Press. While our political views are the same, I just want to hear what the person is saying; I can hear DH anytime. I finally told him I wouldn’t sit in the same room with him during State of the Union addresses. We watch on different TVs.
I’ve been out to eat with a party of eight where only one or two people ordered an appetizer. The rest of us didn’t eat. No big deal. (We’re still working on the bottle of wine anyway.) If one person orders the shrimp cocktail, for instance, and there were four shrimp, I don’t understand the thinking where this is meant to share. I would never expect that person to share the shrimp with the other seven people at the table, especially since he paid a premium for it. I’m talking about a fine dining experience. Is that the same situation you are talking about?
If we are in a pub, we will often order the sampler or fried pickles to share.
But again, in a fine restaurant, I would never expect one person in the party to share his exquisite appetizer with the entire table. Most of the time it’s not large enough to share.
I agree with the fine dining experience appetizers. Maybe it’s just a matter of communication. Generally you would ask if anyone wanted to share an appetizer. If you don’t ask than it’s assumed it’s your own. And sharing apps is much more likely at a casual restaurant than a nice one. Wings and nachos vs. Shrimp cocktail.
VeryHappy, my husband does the same thing and it drives me crazy. He’s got some very firm political opinions and he gets very offended if not every public or political figure agrees with him. I really don’t want to listen to his running commentary, usually supported by some obscure internet references. As always, he has to be right.
So funny about watching the State of the Union on different TVs. We won’t even do that. He still gets way too upset. He now knows that he has to find a special project that night that will keep him busy and away from the TV. Last year, he spent several hours cleaning out the basement during the speech. He kept calm. I had my peace and a clean basement. A win-win situation.
When I am in a restaurant with family, we usually agree before ordering whether we are sharing or not. It is fine for someone to say they don’t want to share. Asking for a taste isn’t the same as “sharing” or “splitting”, and we also do that – but we ask before taking a bite.
@VeryHappy my husband is the same way about politicians on tv. It has gotten so I will turn the tv off if I have the remote until he shuts up. Then I will turn it back on. Our son has actually gotten duct tape out and torn off pieces in preparation of taping his dad’s mouth shut but I have stopped him from actually doing it.
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When someone on TV with whom he does not agree is speaking, he talks back while the person is still talking. He does this during State of the Union speeches, presidential debates, and interviews on shows like Meet the Press. While our political views are the same, I just want to hear what the person is saying; I can hear DH anytime.
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I have this same complaint. I want to hear what everyone’s ideas or views are. Thank goodness for DVRs!!! I can rewind and replay…but when listening to the car radio, it’s a problem.
He usually gets the mesage and migrates to the dining table, laptop and all! Right now, this is what I have sitting on the kitchen table: 2 laptops, a pile of scientific article reprints, a bag with plastic thingies and tubing, a case of some sort of “sensors,” and god knows what else! 
As long as there is room for the dinner dish… 