<p>I never thought we would move from our New England home. But we are now planning a move to another part of the country, possibly in the Spring of 2017. S2 will be finishing his Junior year of college. His program actually finishes in Aug. of 2018 instead of May because of co-ops. We figure the best time to sell our home is in the Spring and don’t want to wait till the Spring of 2019 after he is settled in a job somewhere.</p>
<p>I would love to hear constructive advice and/or suggestions on how to make this move easier for everyone concerned. S1 is graduating this coming May. S2 is a little less independent than S1 and has no idea where he’ll be living and working since he currently is a freshman. </p>
<p>We do have several family groups in the immediate and close area to where we are now. We only have to worry about S2’s senior year of college and summer after until his graduation in Aug. 2018…we’ve thought about putting some old couches and his bedroom furniture in storage up here…I don’t want him to think we’re abandoning him, though. We just don’t want to wait so many years for this move. Helpful advice please. :)</p>
<p>Thanks for your reply, dmd. But that’s not the question. We are moving before he finishes college. Unfortunately he doesn’t get a say in this matter, only that we want to make things as smooth as possible for him during our transition. Once he’s getting ready for senior year, he’ll be pretty entrenched in his school, co-ops and job plans for after college anyway. Yes, of course he wants us to stay, but that is an 18 year old freshman saying this. Things can and probably will change for him as he gets older and more comfortable with his major and what he plans to do after he graduates.</p>
<p>I understand your son doesn’t have a say in it. But he may have an opinion about how he wants it handled. Does he care about his furniture? Wants to pack up his stuff? We moved while our kids were in school many times and then again just before they went to college (and again after they graduated). Every time, we consulted the kids about how they wanted things managed. (At age 7, our daughter wanted her room to be “exactly the same”; at age 21 “just put my books in storage and send the rest to Goodwill.”)</p>
<p>(Edit: I just looked at your post more carefully. I hadn’t noticed that you’re asking about a move in 2017. My answer changes: let it go for now, because it’s too far in the future for your son to know what he wants.)</p>
<p>I think the biggest thing will be the contents of your son’s current room in your New England home. I would have him deal,with those items…see if he is willing to purge things he really doesn’t need or want. </p>
<p>Thanks for your replies. What I should ask is: has anyone on cc reading this post moved while a child was still in college? If so, how did it go? What should I prepare and be aware of? Yes, it’s 2 years down the line, but I am a planner and like to sort it out as best as I can & get ideas ahead of time…I imagine as the time gets closer it’ll work itself out. Renting a storage facility for his belongings he’ll need for an apt. after college makes the most sense…purging a good deal of stuff is a given…mainly the logistics of moving, storing stuff, flying back for graduation, and mentally preparing S that we’re not abandoning him!</p>
<p>If he will have a break to come home before you move, have him pack/donate/dispose-of/take his stuff.</p>
<p>If he is at an in-state public university or one with a tuition discount based on state residency (e.g. the New England regional tuition discount), be sure to check whether the move may have implications on tuition rates.</p>
<p>We moved overseas while both of our kids were in college. They each sorted through their possessions before our move. Most went to Goodwill, 2 boxes each went in Grandma’s garage for them to claim when they graduate, and the rest went into long-term storage (til we come back to the US or buy a bigger house overseas). Older D was upset at first that we’d sold her childhood home, but she’s adjusting after graduating and getting a job. She has her own life. Younger S is still in college. The hardest part for him is missing his HS friends over breaks and the summer. He spent last summer house sitting in our old hometown, but he just told us that he wants to stay in college town next summer to work. Life goes on. Everyone adjusts. It was a good decision for H and I. After 25 years of raising kids (2 bio and 3 foster) its now time for us. Good luck!</p>
<p>We moved at least once during each of my three kids’ college years. My middle and youngest had three different mailing addresses with their schools. However, they were used to moving every 2-3 years, so it wasn’t a big deal at that point. They just put their stuff in storage during the summers. My oldest has been overseas most of the time since 2009 and we still have all of her stuff. The middle one was overseas a couple years so we had her stuff, but she now has an apartment, as does the youngest. </p>
<p>My in laws moved when their oldest was in college … then again when H was in college (7 years later). I guess parents (and kids) were different in those days. They moved, and the kids survived. Both my SIL and my H lived on their own following graduation. My best friend’s parents moved when we were in college, too. She, too, was fine - she also lived on her own following graduation. In laws and friend’s parents asked their kids to get rid of anything they didn’t want any more prior to moving, and they moved anything the kids really wanted to keep. </p>
<p>This kid has two more years before his parents actually move.</p>
<p>Choco…I understand that you are a planner, but you have a college freshman kid. so much can change from his perspective. I don’t think you can plan now for how HE might want a move to take place in 2017.</p>
<p>As an example…when my kids left for college, they wanted their rooms untouched. They were not ready to part with anything at that point. After freshman year, both purged a ton of stuff. By Christmas of sophomore college year, both told me that anything left in their rooms could be tossed. I didn’t do that…but when they graduated THEY did!</p>
<p>I think you need to see what your kiddos want to do with their things. We wanted our kids to want some things for their first apartments…but in reality, the kid who is in his own apartment took barely anything of ours. Storing would have been a huge waste of money! Huge. Plus…the kid lives 2500 miles away from here. </p>
<p>I think when your plans become more firm, it will be a lot easier to get your sons on board with this planning.</p>
<p>Okay. Thanks everyone. I’ll continue to plan for us, the parents. We’ll still go forward to move in two years. Ucb: Thanks. He’s at a private Uni only an hour and a half away by car. Thumper: you’re right. He’s only a freshman now and by the time we move and he finishes his junior year, he will most likely have a very different reaction. The last time we moved, S1 was 7 beginning 2nd grade and S2 was 4 in pre-school. Yes, this has been their childhood home for the last 14 years (16 years by the time we move). I was just curious to know other people that have moved with a kid still in college and how it worked out for them. I have a feeling it will work out fine for us, but have to worry anyway! Two years ahead of time! ;)</p>
<p>When I first read this thread, I was thinking that my kids started college this summer just after I packed everything into storage. They not only didn’t have an old home, they don’t have a new one. I just wasn’t sure what I was going to do. They seem fine. Most of their stuff they packed, but they are much less sentimental than me, so tossed a lot.</p>
<p>Then I remembered that my parents moved when I was in college. Yes, it was so unimportant of an event that I didn’t really think about it much. They of course just moved all the stuff from one house to the next, although the ‘older kids’ (me, older brother, older sister) didn’t have a bedroom at the new house. After college, I did move back with them, went away to school again, came back and then they moved again. After I finished grad school, I moved again. We’ve all been all over the place. </p>
<p>We moved when my D was a freshman in college. We moved to a bigger home because we wanted the kids to have a room there. They each spent one summer at our house. The kids have graduated college and live in the cities where they are employed, not close to us. </p>
<p>They have no desire to live where we are. The only bittersweet thing is that our house is not home but where their parents live. My S missed his HS friends but he is busy with his job and his gf. There is always facebook now so everyone knows what their friends are up to. </p>
<p>Life goes on. I know someone who wouldn’t move with her H when he transferred so that her kids had a place to visit their HS friends. I wished to follow my H as that is where my life is going to be. In the future, not the past. </p>
<p>Thanks for your replies. I do have a little guilt, because I’ve been pushing them to think about getting jobs in our new location. I have to back away from that since they have to live their own lives. Plus, the younger one is still only 18. Older one is 22. They could eventually move to where we’re going since it’ll be a much larger metropolitan area as opposed to a small town where we are currently. But it’s hard relinquishing control now that the older one is getting ready to graduate and be on his own. I’m sure a million of you have been in this situation already! :-SS </p>
<p>We just moved over 1200 miles to a new state in November. S is a junior in college. When he left for his out-of-state school in September he knew H was interviewing for a new job and it was likely we’d be moving, but at that point we didn’t know if/when/where. He was in our prior hometown for K-12 and is very close to his friends from HS and is still dating his gf from senior year (long distance relationship) but was very excited and supportive about the move. He actually flew back “home” this morning so he can attend the wedding of a childhood friend this weekend.</p>
<p>He is staying with close friends, and will also see some family we have about an hour away while he is there. We also gave him a Christmas present of an airline ticket for his gf to come visit here later in January. </p>
<p>Our D had already graduated and moved away, but still had a bedroom at home with lots of childhood possessions. For both kids, I asked ahead of time about their belongings, and I sent a lot of texts with photos to ask about specific items. In most cases I was more sentimental/attached to the items than they were. I did discover a very overdue book from the middle school library!</p>
<p>With airline tickets and electronic communication they can keep in touch or visit. </p>
<p>^^Thanks college_query: your post really helps. I think I am posting now, two years before the move because I need to process it all in my mind. As we haven’t moved since our boys were quite young, and this hopefully will be our last move, I have a much different outlook on making sure they are “settled” since they are young adults now. Yes, they both have many friends from high school here, but there still is family nearby for them to come & stay with in the future for various (friend) events. I know it will work itself out, but it’s still nice to hear from so many of you that have already lived through it! It gives me confidence.</p>
<p>We moved when two of my kids were in college. Frankly, after worrying about their needs for the past 25 years we weren’t overly concerned about their feelings. I allowed them each two large boxes to fill with momentos that I would store at our new smaller home. Anything else they wanted would have to go with them to school. Both were in apartments so did have some room. Neither chose to take anything extra. They would spend part of their winter break visiting friends in their hometown. That is where my youngest is this week. The older one, on his own now, has very few ties to his high school friends and no longer visits any of them. Some come to see him as he lives in a fun city and they never “escaped” their hometown. The kids like to visit us since we moved to a beach town and there is always lots to do here. I would not worry about your son at all. He will adjust.</p>
<p>We have not moved from the family home…but my kids keep,asking us when we plan to. Realistically, they expected us to move long before now. This house is simply too big for us now.</p>
<p>I’m not sure how big you’re talking about, thumper. We love our current home style wise. We’ve stayed here for the school system, but prices are very high and when we move, everything will be lower priced, especially the property taxes. We have a very open concept 3000 square foot house with 3 bedrooms, and another good size room as an office. 2 1/2 bathrooms and a very large finished basement. I would probably get a little smaller, but not too much! My H & I both work from home and have two offices, his is the main one and I use a smaller space. I can picture turning a loft into a larger office space for both of us, but I do like working separately from him. For those of you that moved, did the bedrooms become kids bedrooms again or did you just use them as guest bedrooms? My older S already moved his bed out last summer when he rented a 3 story home with other guys from college. The younger one will want his bed too. They are queen size, not twins. </p>
<p>I haven’t moved in many years, so it seems daunting to me. Changing the topic slightly: for those that moved, did you sell your home first and then look for a home in the new location, or con currently or what?? Plus, my H is a big saver and we continue to purge “a bag a week”. The piles get less but it always amazes me how much is left! We are trying to go through piles now and eliminate as much as we can ahead of time.</p>
<p>For those that moved while the child was in college, you just flew back for their graduations? It’ll probably be the same for us…</p>