<p>Unfortunately, if you insist that the victim could not possibly have foreseen the danger nor done anything at all to prevent this incident from occurring, you are implying that women are completely powerless to protect themselves from predators. I don’t believe that’s true in all cases, and would not want that to be the message girls receive from this crime. Her friends knew how to protect themselves and did so that night. I only wish someone had protected the girl once she showed herself unwilling or unable to do so.</p>
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<p>They are two seperate issues.</p>
<p>The pervasive purity culture tries to convince us they are intertwined, but they are not.</p>
<p>I was molested by a group of boys while I was waiting outside my junior high for the late activity bus.</p>
<p>I was not using substances at all, nor was I scantily dressed, but what I am hearing is that if I was, then I would be to blame.</p>
<p>Please tell me that is not what you are saying.</p>
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<p>So you are upset that in addition to being convicted of rape, the boys weren’t also convicted of drinking alcohol?</p>
<p>I’d be happy if those enablers who allow alcohol to be purchased and/or consumed on their premises are held to account. It was not clear whether particular homes were more likely hosts than others, but accounts made it seem like a perpetual party every weekend. In this case, it appears the home of one of the prosecutors of the town was one of the sites where the victim was taken. There is surely a LOT of blame to go around and it will be interesting to see how far the grand jury will choose to go with this.</p>
<p>Our society needs to be changed to reduce the growing number of predators who see that they can get away with whatever violent or impulsive behavior they desire, at the expense of others. We really do need to stop blaming victims, but even on our enlightened CC, we are still conflicted about this.</p>
<p>The longer violent predators get away with that type of behavior, the more entitled they feel so they are shocked as these boys were when their “fun” is found to be criminal. They don’t seem to have ANY ability to empathize with their victim or her family whatsoever.</p>
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<p>Sickening…just sickening…</p>
<p>[Steubenville</a>, weary of investigation, not done yet - CNN.com](<a href=“http://www.cnn.com/2013/03/18/justice/ohio-steubenville-case/index.html?hpt=hp_t2]Steubenville”>http://www.cnn.com/2013/03/18/justice/ohio-steubenville-case/index.html?hpt=hp_t2)</p>
<p>rockvillemom–you are being so courageous right now by sharing this on this thread. I am moved by your admission, and am truly so sorry you were victimized. </p>
<p>NO IT WAS NOT YOUR FAULT! </p>
<p>None of it was your fault. You were an innocent victim and I am so sorry you had to experience this, and had to carry around this self blame.</p>
<p>Wow, 16 people are refusing to talk. Well, a grand jury investigation should get them to open up.</p>
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<p>And the rest of them at the party. Including the rape victim.</p>
<p>lindz - thank you. It just hit me that some of the things I had been posting about the victim in this case really had more to do with how I viewed my own experience. I try not to think about it, and when I do, I always think about how stupid, foolish and naive I was. I have never ever thought about it as rape and still feel very uncomfortable with that terminology.</p>
<p>At a hearing last week, our state Director of Health and Human Services shared that she had been raped in college by 4 men and was severely physically injured (fractures and worse). She said one of the most important things to her was to be sure she wasn’t pregnant and she really wanted any treatment that would help to ensure she wasn’t pregnant. She was testifying in support of a statute that ALL hospitals make “the morning after pill” available to all victims. </p>
<p>It was very moving that she came forward with this story and it still brought tears to everyone’s eyes though it occurred over 30 years prior. </p>
<p>There is no excuse for RAPE and the blame should not be shifted to the victim. Yes, there are things that all of us can do to help do what we can to change and shift the culture back to respect and human decency. Alcohol and drugs, especially in minors is certainly part of the problem, a culture that glorifies athletics over other skills and talents is another part of the problem, a culture that glorifies violence in movies, games, ads, media, etc. is another part of the problem. </p>
<p>This current situation spotlighted in Stubenville is a systemic problem and needs a lot of work to change, but it needs to be changed. As has been posted, this problem is not unique to this particular small town or even state, sadly.</p>
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<p>In my state, that gets them an MIP, or at worse an MIC. Don’t think that’s going to address the bigger issues here, but if you are wanting to get your pound of flesh off the victim, maybe it will give you some comfort to slap a drinking ticket on her. I don’t have a problem with it.</p>
<p>Also edited to add, law enforcement authorities often have an array of charges to choose from when making arrests. They typically narrow these down to what they consider to be the most important to focus on. While underage drinking is a BIG problem, I don’t think the authorities thought it was or should be their priority in this particular case.</p>
<p>I think homeowners have reason to fear social host liability, for allowing liquor-fueled (with or without other drugs) parties to occur regularly in their homes, at the very least.</p>
<p>hopscout–so you are upset the boys AND the victim were not convicted of underage drinking? do I have that correct?</p>
<p>rockvillemom, a very similar thing happened to me in college, only I stopped it before it went that far. I can imagine why you might feel some guilt about it, although I assure you it was not your fault. Being drunk or vulnerable or an “easy target” does not justify someone taking advantage of another person.</p>
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<p>Of course that is not what I am saying. I can’t even imagine how you could take what I did say and draw this conclusion.</p>
<p>OK, since we are bringing up personal experience, I was walking after dinner from my sorority house to my dorm sophomore year, carrying a box of clothing and books when a guy ran up behind me and molested me. When I turned and kicked out at him (after dropping my stuff) he actually laughed as he ran off. I reported the event to the campus police who blew it off. I was furious, warned the other girls I knew in the area and never once considered it my fault for walking alone on campus at 7:30 in the evening.</p>
<p>How on earth does that relate to underage boys and girls drinking alcohol to the point where they actually become unconscious and lose all sense of self-respect and control? All I’m saying is that if we want there to be fewer rapes, drunk-driving deaths and alcohol poisoning incidents, we really need to stop being so tolerant of this partying culture. I never even implied that it would excuse rape when it does happen; I just want it NOT to happen and if that means supervising teenagers and eliminating these opportunities, then it’s not a very high price to pay.</p>
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<p>You weren’t obligated to provide a personal explanation for your attitude, but it now makes more sense to me. When you said you didn’t see any evidence of a rape in this case, I had to count to 10 before I replied in as an unemotional manner as possible.</p>
<p>I’m sorry for your experience. To say you had “no one to blame but yourself” is patently, completely false.</p>
<p>It’s a good idea to give them all MIPs in Ohio, since its standard to put them in a drug and alcohol education class, which they could obviously all use. So what? Do that.</p>
<p>It still won’t change the fact that drinking is a nonviolent action you commit on yourself and rape is a violent felony you commit to somebody else. We can put them all in an alcohol education class, and the rapists will still have to go to prison.</p>
<p>There is a forfeiture law that could make homeowners forfeit their home if illicit drugs are found to have been on the premises. It is not enforced that often, but the US Attorney’s Office DOES prosecute these cases when they can.</p>
<p>It’s not clear how often illegal drugs are added to beverages to make them more potent. D says she knows that the girls at frat parties are given larger glasses and “the better stuff,” at no charge. I guess so there will be LOTS of women there for the “free drinks.” Fortunately, I don’t think these types of parties are D’s style and she limits her time there.</p>
<p>The flipside of purity culture is that while we expect females to be pure & virginal, we also don’t expect our males to be able to control themselves if they are not.</p>
<p>[The</a> Sexy Lie: Caroline Heldman at TEDxYouth@SanDiego - YouTube](<a href=“The Sexy Lie: Caroline Heldman at TEDxYouth@SanDiego - YouTube”>The Sexy Lie: Caroline Heldman at TEDxYouth@SanDiego - YouTube)</p>