<p>Cobrat, $6 for a beer is common here as well. Or I can get a 24 pack for $15ish. There’s a reason I don’t drink out.</p>
<p>I also did not see GFG’s post just ahead of mine because I was busy composing, so my post wasn’t related to that.</p>
<p>Deborah- I added the line about wearing burquas to make it clear what I was responding to. Sorry if you misunderstood and didnt read the posts. Mine had NOTHING to do with yours, so it would be kind to retract what you said as it isnt very nice and its ill directed. A simple “oops I misread” or “thanks for clarifying” would be appreciated as I am trying to clarify to whom I was responding. Your post wasnt even there when I first typed my response to the “blame the clothes” nonsense, and edited it when I saw yours (so mine would address clothing.)</p>
<p>** maybe we should put the post # we are responding to in fast-moving threads so its CLEAR who we are responding to.</p>
<p>How can the GFG’s post not have been there if it was the one I was responding to?? It posted 3 minutes before yours.</p>
<p>No matter. Lets stay focused on the things that do matter. Apology accepted :)</p>
<p>“what is empowering is for a young woman to know what things she can do to help lower her odds of being a victim.”</p>
<p>What can lower her odds most is 1) To immediately report being victimized to local law enforcement authorities; and 2) Help other women immediately report being victimized to local law enforcement authorities. If there are no criminals running loose on campuses - high school or college - there are no crimes. Of course, that’s a goal. But in any case, it is much more empowering for a young woman than any other action she can take.</p>
<p>I worked alongside statewide drug/alcohol/violence prevention professionals for 20 years. Most of what they have is junk, and very poorly supported by data.</p>
<p>Jym, I already explained that I thought you were responding to me based on the timing of the post, and I think that’s plenty adequate. I didn’t chomp you, and now I know you weren’t trying to chomp me. How about we leave it at that?</p>
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<p>I don’t usually keep alcohol in my apartment unless I am expecting guests who do drink as I don’t drink outside of social settings at a friend’s home, restaurant, or bar. </p>
<p>Otherwise, I’d end up in a situation where I forgot about an unopened bottles of beer/vodka left by well-meaning friends/super for me for 5 years. Ended up donating them to a friend for his New Years Eve party.</p>
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<p>I wasn’t saying that any behavior is totally due to drink. I was saying that I think that many young people have at times had anti-social feelings/impulses that they would never indulge when sober. I’m thinking specifically of various cases of vandalism and fighting that always seem to pop up around prom/graduations time and always seem to involve “good” high school boys and girls who’ve never been arrested before. Are we saying that the boys convicted of this rape would have inevitably been rapists whether they were drinking or not?</p>
<p>I’m on my phone so I can’t see post numbers :(</p>
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<p>Rapists don’t care about your “values.” In fact, there is a subset of rapists who really get off on being “the first.” </p>
<p>The most important thing to teach them statistically is to cut their hair short. It will reduce their chances of being raped. Wearing a pony tail, which my own daughter does, dramatically increases the chances of being raped. See, it’s just fact that if a guy can grab your hair and pull your head back, he’s got you under control. Pony tails make it easy to do that. </p>
<p>Also avoid wearing big hoop earrings. Same reason. </p>
<p>A pencil thin skirt is the worst thing you can wear. Short shorts that button on the sides are MUCH safer. The advice of experts is that a top or blouse which buttons down the back with a bra that fastens in the front also helps. </p>
<p>Don’t wear high heels when you walk alone. Inside they actually help. Remember to step down HARD on his foot. They do impede your ability to run away. </p>
<p>GFG, I think it’s silly to put yourself at risk by drinking too much. However, I also think it’s silly to walk outside at night wearing a ponytail,hoop earrings, high heels, and a long, thin skirt. It’s worse if you are alone. </p>
<p>It’s NOT about your values. It’s about your vulnerability.</p>
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<p>DeborahT, I am aware that some people are trying to talk, once again, about what women can do to prevent being raped, and not about getting rid of the rapists.</p>
<p>67% of all rapes occur between 6pm and 6am. I suggest our daughters stay indoors.</p>
<p>Agree-- lets move on. But accusing people of being nasty, especially when its erroneously accused, isnt very nice. Thats all.</p>
<p>Mini, that’s making the assumption a crime has already occurred. I’d like for the crime never to happen to me, so I’d want to know what actions, within reason, I could take so that it won’t.</p>
<p>“What can lower her odds most is 1) To immediately report being victimized to local law enforcement authorities”</p>
<p>Mini, how does reporting immediately after the fact lower the odds that a woman will be attacked? I would think that if confronted with a criminal, having her wits about her would be a very good thing.</p>
<p>So I should cut my hair, which I like to wear long as short doesn’t flatter me, and if I am in my track clothes (a t shirt and shorts) I am ASKING to be raped if I run on campus?
O.
M.
G.</p>
<p>" Are we saying that the boys convicted of this rape would have inevitably been rapists whether they were drinking or not? "</p>
<p>It’s a fair question. Modern social sciences began in the 19th Century initially to study what made for criminals. We still don’t know the answer, except to say that past experiences of powerlessness are almost associated with violent behavior.</p>
<p>As for drinking? Well, I could only drink half of that $6 beer before I’d fall asleep, so it would make me less rather than more likely to be violent (and I’m not a violent sleeper. ;))</p>
<p>“Mini, how does reporting immediately after the fact lower the odds that a woman will be attacked? I would think that if confronted with a criminal, having her wits about her would be a very good thing.”</p>
<p>Two ways: 1) In the vast majority of cases, victims know their attackers. Not removing the attacker makes it more likely that he will attack again, including attacking the same victim. (Remember, we are talking about predatory behavior here.) The biggest risk factor for being raped on campus is being female; second is having been raped already. 2) Removing criminals from the vicinity makes everyone safer, and removes the criminal behavior from the social milieu so that cultural change can take place, and other folks are less likely to act criminally. (As New York discovered 20 years ago, once certain crimes fall below a certain threshold, they continue to fall precipitously.)</p>
<p>Wits are good. Burqas might work too. I haven’t seen a study of either.</p>
<p>Perhaps sex change operations?</p>
<p>“Mini, that’s making the assumption a crime has already occurred. I’d like for the crime never to happen to me, so I’d want to know what actions, within reason, I could take so that it won’t.”</p>
<p>Help other women report. Help create a culture of reporting.</p>
<p>the reason that will lower her odds is because THE biggest risk factor for being raped on campus? Having already been raped on campus.</p>
<p>fact.</p>
<p>I think more women and men would report if they had confidence they would be treated well and not repeatedly attacked for reporting and trying to get rapist punished. The way this victim is being treated underscores some of the danger in reporting and prosecuting. She is reportedly now friendless and threatened and needs constant protection.</p>
<p>“THE biggest risk factor for being raped on campus? Having already been raped on campus.”</p>
<p>Second biggest. The biggest is being female.</p>
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<p>As I said, I didn’t <em>see</em> it. I can be painfully slow at composing, even if the end result isn’t brilliant!</p>
<p>~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~</p>
<p>Comment in general, not directed to anyone in particular:</p>
<p>I’m usually less interested in debating topics than I am in coming up with solutions, figuring out what we can do to make things better for people.</p>