<p>Apparently, I’m the only one here who knows (quite well-it’s my daughter) a young woman (she is a 22 year old college senior) who goes to bars and parties where she drinks alcohol, dances, and probably flirts while wearing dresses that may be short and/or low cut or figure defining. She does this after a week of working at an unpaid internship and two work study jobs and writing her capstone. She does it to unwind and have fun and, yes, oh horrors, be admired for being pretty. She always goes with a group of friends and knows never to drink from an unattended glass. If she and her friends have taken a bus to the bar, they always take a cab home.</p>
<p>My oldest daughter goes out, also. Nothing wrong with that and there is nothing she could do to deserve assault, but I am glad that she is always accompanied, doesn’t drink from unattended cups (it took me a long time to understand why so many women dance with their drinks, doh) and doesn’t drink to the point of blacking out. Very glad.</p>
<p>Many rapes occur between people who know each other, sometimes they’ve previously hooked up, or they have friends in common, or belong to an extracurricular group together. What is the appropriate garb to communicate that one does not want to be raped? You know, for when saying no and struggling under his weight isn’t quite enough?</p>
<p>Well, I’ve seen girls dressed in sexy clothing which might imply that they would like to attract a potential mate. I’ve never seen a teenage girl dressed in a manner which communicated that she would like to be raped. Furthermore, if we agree that rape is an act of anger or desire to humiliate and/or dominate, then I doubt the rapist gives a flip what the victim is wearing. This is NOT about sex.</p>
<p>My D had a friend who went to a weight loss camp in middle school (over the summer) and found that many of the girls who were there had been raped. Subsequently, they began eating so much and the reasons are probably complex, but I’m sure one of those reasons was to make sure they wouldn’t somehow attract the attention of a rapist again. They were “dressing” their entire bodies and yet I’m sure they could be raped again. Probably by the same person who attacked them before. These were 12 - 13 year olds!</p>
<p>Humans are animals, and sometimes we forget that. So, a little scary, you’re dealing with an animal, too, and what motivates that animal, an animal who could be imbalanced or under the influence of substances.</p>
<p>JEM good link. That video was effective to me and haunting. </p>
<p>I think the steps each of us chooses to take minimize our odds of being a victim are important. Our D learned the hard way not to report first to campus security and trust them to treat her properly when her bike was hit by one of their employees. Next time she will call the REAL cops. </p>
<p>Having a buddy system and sticking together is an important strategy. Not foolproof but sensible. As long as there are predators free, people have to make the best choices they can with the info they have.</p>
<p>Sad but in many ways and on many levels understandable why the young women at the weight loss camp ate–PTSD, depression, stress and yes to hide under fat so as not to be raped again. So sad, especially since it CAN happen as even SRs, patients, inmates and others are raped. It’s a crime of power and opportunity, especially when the (often serial) offender thinks there is little to no chance of getting caught and punished.</p>
<p>Anyone have opinions on how the reasons a 16 year old girl would decide to become intoxicated differ from the reasons why a 16 year old boy would decide to become intoxicated.</p>
<p>Really seems marginally relevant to me why people drink to excess. I think this thread is about rape. The statics show that often there is no alcohol involved much less excess. </p>
<p>Thanks for the PBS link. It was insightful but discouraging.</p>
<p>“Is it possible that there are boys/men who have never committed a sexual assault who if in certain circumstances, and under the influence, could actually do things they never would do if sober?”</p>
<p>Yes, it is possible. There may be some folks who have violent impulses, and choose not to act on them for rational reasons, but when drunk, they act on the impulses.</p>
<p>Being drunk/high does not change legal culpability in most instances, and it never changes moral culpability in my judgment (unless the perpetrator was doped against his/her will). But would there be less violent crime if no one drank alcohol? I think the answer is clearly yes.</p>
<p>from article;
Convicted sex offenders include physicians, truck drivers, utility workers, and teachers, single men and married men with children. Yet Sanchez sees some general patterns. Rapists tend to be antisocial. Many have a mixed criminal history and a pattern of victimizing people. They’re aggressive and have problems controlling their anger. They lack adequate communication skills which contributes to their feelings of rage and frustration. They’re often sensitive to rejection and insecure about their own masculinity. They also have distorted views about women and sex. Most have been sexually deviant since adolescence.</p>
<p>maybe we need to educate our daughters to recognize aggressive behavior and refuse to interact with young men who demonstrate any of these behaviors. Sharon Love, the mother of Yeardley is suing UVA for failing to protect her daughter. </p>
<p>“It was well known to the players and coaches on the UVA men’s and women’s lacrosse teams that Huguely’s alcohol abuse and erratic, aggressive behavior was increasingly getting out of control, especially his obsession with Love and his aggressiveness and threats to Love,” the complaint says.</p>
<p>Despite these incidents, the lawsuit says, nobody at the university disciplined Huguely or tried to get him into treatment for alcohol abuse or anger management.</p>
<p>One small thing we can do: sign this petition at whitehouse.gov. About 32,000 women become pregnant each year from rape and 31 states allow rapists to sue for child custody in these cases! </p>
<p>romani - I knew about the 32,000 pregnancies statistic, but I didn’t know about those horrible state laws until I was looking around on that petition site to find something to sign that would revoke daylight savings time. It made me feel pretty silly in comparison.</p>