<p>oops, I somehow only linked to the short, TV news clip. Full interview with dad is at top</p>
<p>[NEWS9</a> SPECIAL ASSIGNMENT: Dad says family is 'collateral… | <a href=“http://www.wtov9.com%5B/url%5D”>www.wtov9.com](<a href=“http://www.wtov9.com/news/news/news9-special-assignment-dad-says-family-collatera/nWxRY/]NEWS9”>http://www.wtov9.com/news/news/news9-special-assignment-dad-says-family-collatera/nWxRY/)</a></p>
<p>Nrdsb—exactly. In this case “friends” of the victim testified that she was a liar, so her report of rape should not be believed. even though it was evident through social media that she had not lied about being raped.</p>
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<p>I can’t imagine any father of SONS doing it either, nor being proud of their son or his friends taking advantage of a drunk girl. poetgrl has summed up the ENTIRE issue in two sentences:</p>
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<p>Like her, I don’t know what is so difficult to understand about this.</p>
<p>Is there a source to look up the occurrence of rape at specific college campuses? And a list of schools that are helpful dealing with these issues. Any tips on how one would begin to research this? My D is a HS junior and the information may help us chose/avoid a school.</p>
<p>redpoint, I am not sure if there is some national database but here is information I posted in another thread:</p>
<p>Binge drinking on campuses is highly correlated with higher sexual assault rates.</p>
<p>Greek culture is highly correlated with binge drinking. From the Harvard College Alcohol Study:</p>
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<p><a href=“http://www.hsph.harvard.edu/cas/What-We-Learned-08.pdf[/url]”>http://www.hsph.harvard.edu/cas/What-We-Learned-08.pdf</a></p>
<p>Here is some research on the “rape-supportive” moral disengagement among fraternity members.</p>
<p><a href=“CONTENTdm”>CONTENTdm;
<p>Amherst, one of the colleges being discussed a lot here, does not have official fraternities but does have “underground” ones including the one that had the party advertised by a half-naked woman roasting on a spit.</p>
<p>I have a sophomore daughter who is starting to think about college and I plan to use all of this information to help her choose wisely. Consolation may disagree but my opinion is that campuses where young men with a sense of “entitlement” dominate the social order are ones we would avoid–whether that entitlement comes from wealth, membership on an exalted athletic team or in a popular fraternity, or something else. In general, at least in my search with my son, we found the culture of more liberal/tolerant campuses where women are clearly equal or dominant socially (i.e., many LACs) more comfortable. Again–only my opinion so please don’t beat up on me, people. :)</p>
<p>Thanks, Sally!</p>
<p>Oops, sadly those links did not work for me.</p>
<p>So which colleges do you rule out? Princeton, Notre Dame, Occidental, UNC, Amherst, Williams. Right there you have examples of different types of schools, rural to urban/suburban, big/small, research uni/small LAC, religious/nonaffiliated.</p>
<p>“It’s just that I can’t think of any father of daughters who would have sent that particularly passed out girl out with those boys carrying her.”</p>
<p>I wish I could agree with this. People either have a clue, compassion, a sense of responsibility, or they don’t. There are lots of parents who don’t. Either they aren’t aware that a minor passed out and vomiting is in medical danger, or they don’t care enough to inconvenience themselves.</p>
<p>It doesn’t matter whether guests are invited or uninvited, unless they broke into the house. If you let them in your house, then they are guests. It makes my blood run cold to think of <em>adults</em> having high schoolers put an unconscious minor in a car with other drunken teenagers and a sober (?) teenager driving. There are all sorts of decent responses to finding a sick teenager on your front yard – call her parents, call 911, take care of her in your home, drive her home/to the hospital yourself. But sending her off with other drunken teens just isn’t one of them.</p>
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<p>Here’s the problem you are going to face with that: the schools, all schools, have problems with rape and rape reporting and also with attempting to make their numbers lower.</p>
<p>UNC didnt’ like the numbers and deleted 3 rape reports. For this they are rightly being investigated by the DOJ.</p>
<p>There are new reporting rules, and new protocols.</p>
<p>But, the fact is that if you read some of the links, this is ubiquitious. So, you can try to label the named schools, but do you honestly think there is more of a problem at Princeton than Yale, which is also being investigated by the DOJ? </p>
<p>I don’t know. I highly doubt it.</p>
<p>The new reporting rules and enforcement rules in the violence against women’s act should assist us in getting better numbers, but as the woman at Princeton said about not releasing the report, these are same numbers everyone is getting, but if we say we are getting these numbers, then we will be the “bad” school.</p>
<p>There is punishment for reporting and addressing the issue.</p>
<p>I think, finally, the best advice I have heard is to look for schools where there are women in adminatrative positions. Look for schools with accurate sounding numbers. 77% of schools in 2010 reported no rape reports. </p>
<p>Do you believe them? I don’t.</p>
<p>Thank you to all of the woman on here who have been so courageous and generous in sharing your story with us all. I am truly inspired by the strength you have shown us all.</p>
<p>I am off to work!</p>
<p>Sorry, redpoint. Try these.</p>
<p>[Harvard</a> School of Public Health » HSPH News » Binge drinking tied to conditions in the college environment](<a href=“http://www.hsph.harvard.edu/news/press-releases/binge-drinking-tied-to-conditions-in-the-college-environment/]Harvard”>Binge drinking tied to conditions in the college environment | News | Harvard T.H. Chan School of Public Health)</p>
<p>Our flagship U has women in administrative positions (including our current chancellor), but I don’t believe our U is in any way good, better or different from others. Athletes have quite a bit of hero worship in the town and on campus, I believe. One of the star quarterbacks was recruited AFTER he had a rape or sexual assault charge reduced to a lesser charge and pled to it. He did well on the field–not sure about his exploits off the field. He is not the only athlete our U recruited with a “past.” Because we are a lower ranked U, it is one way of our U getting “talent.”</p>
<p>Us have a vested interest in underreporting and doing “business as usual.” They don’t want to be known as too straight-laced where kids “can’t have fun,” even if the fun includes drunkenness and violence against others, especially women. </p>
<p>I like the Bringing in the Bystander program–it uses a lot of similar techniques as “bullyproofing” programs to try to change the social norms. So much of it involves education–from early on–preschool and before about having the moral fiber to get involved and step in to prevent and reduce injury of others.</p>
<p>I think schools that idolize its athletes and/or Greek system do all of its students a tremendous disservice. Unfortunately, with how much money sports brings in, I can’t see that changing anytime soon. This is the way it is at our kids’ alma mater, even though engineers, filmmakers and others donate entire buildings to the school but there is such “rah rah” about sports and “school spirit.”</p>
<p>Sorry, for going off on a tangent. I am in awe of those who had the courage to share their stories and give voice that “nice,” trusting girls can and DO have sexual violence and rape thrust upon them, no matter what they wear and how carefully they conduct themselves.</p>
<p>poetgrl, I just want to thank you for everything you’ve been saying in this thread, and your steadfastness in doing so. You’ve been amazing. And I’ve also been really pleased that 99% of everybody else seems to be on the same page, and that the rape apologism and victim-blaming that seem so prevalent in so many places on the Internet have been virtually absent. It gives me a little bit of hope that perhaps the general culture surrounding this issue really has changed for the better since Glen Ridge in 1989, which I remember so well.</p>
<p>Regarding the father in the interview: if I am not mistaken, he said that his son had asked them to leave and made sure they had a designated driver. He didn’t say that he personally had witnessed their level of drunkenness or other behavior. In retrospect I’m sure he wishes he had intervened himself.</p>
<p>At least part of what he says checks out, since on the infamous video one can hear people remarking that his son wasn’t there.</p>
<p>Presumably the official testimony goes into this in greater detail.</p>
<p>Please nobody shoot me down for this one. Trying to offer support.</p>
<p>It occurs to me that it must feel like a really hostile environment out there for a lot of women who’ve had bad stuff happen if here on CC, on this thread, is one of the few places some women have felt it’s okay to make their voices heard.</p>
<p>Can you kindly clarify- what do you mean by that? For almost everyone posting, this thread has been an active discussion of ideas, thoughts, opinions, disclosure of experiences and offers of suggestion and support. I am hopeful that your post isn’t suggesting that “gee, it must really suck out there if you are willing to post in this cantankerous thread”. That would be most unfortunate. </p>
<p>Again, thank you to all the brave women sharing their stories here.</p>
<p>No, that’s not what I meant, Jym. I was trying to offer <em>support</em>.</p>
deleted for privacy reasons
<p>^^^^^Silpat, how did your brother react when you spoke to him about it? Did he give any credence to what you said?</p>
<p>Silpat, your story is chilling (as are many others here). Your brother’s attitude is really no different from the one that leads fathers to commit “honor killings” against their own daughters. Heartbreaking.</p>
<p>Nrdsb4, at first he totally dismissed what I said. I even tried to relay some of my own experience, which he’d never heard anything about. That seemed to get through a little bit, but then he reverted back to saying how she should have known he was a creep and should have expected it. I asked him what the heck could she have done? She was a child of divorced parents who lived in different states, whose father never tried to get custody, and she had no other family in her area. Where was she supposed to live or even go when her mom went on these trips? And why should she have expected to be molested? Just because her dad thought the guy was a creep but never did anything to remove his daughters from where he and his ex lived? After the incident, she moved in with the family of a girl from her school.</p>