<p>Girls from “classier” backgrounds are also sexualized, just in a different style. There is a lot of pressure on girls to not be prudish, that somehow they aren’t empowered if they are virgins.</p>
<p>When we volunteered in our kids school field trips, we had to provide photo IDs/copies of our drivers licenses and proof of insurance, and were given a brief explanation of what our responsibilities were. Is this done for parents volunteering in classrooms in public school?</p>
<p>
Not here, if you’re just around and helping. I don’t think parents are allowed to be alone with kids, but if you’re moving boxes for the teacher or cataloging her classroom library, nobody cares at all.</p>
<p>Here is something recent on sexualization.</p>
<p>[The</a> Sexualization of Women and Girls | Psychology Today](<a href=“http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/overcoming-child-abuse/201203/the-sexualization-women-and-girls]The”>The Sexualization of Women and Girls | Psychology Today)</p>
<p>Seems a lot can be said for single sex schools to provide an environment to learn without either sex having to deal with the other for a few hours each day.</p>
<p>“So… I would say right now, the numbers being what they are, I don’t know which campuses are worse. Does anybody?”</p>
<p>We do, among a very, very small universe of NESCAC schools.</p>
<p>I have both son and daughters, boys can be vulgar, I do NOT tolerate my son speaking as such he knows I would kill him. I have called some of his friends out when in my presence, and yes a few do not care who is present. </p>
<p>One day I was picking up a group of 14 y/o boys and girls to take them ice skating. The talk before the girls got into the car, the boys were saying who was sitting on their lap when the girls got in. Some of the girls were naive enough to think sitting on the boys laps was ok, I told them, (and the mom of one of the girls seemed to think I was being prudish), no the girls were NOT sitting on any laps,they got the middle seats and the boys in the back.
Have any posters on here ever followed what their kids friends or just kids at their school say and tweet? Follow some over a weekend, you will know who is doing what to whom.
The conversations between the boys and girls is appalling, there is no line of decency.
Don’t let me get started by the parents who allow drinking/or drunk kids in their homes. </p>
<p>What I have read many of the young girls are denigrating themselves, </p>
<p>A “favorite” of mine</p>
<p>Oh just got raped by that math test’, yes the girls say this and a lot worse.</p>
<p>Young women must hold themselves up and NOT tolerate boys speaking to them in this manner. They should not speak this way either. </p>
<p>These young men did not think what they did was rape, it was a gang rape,</p>
<p>I hardly ever watch television and, when I do, I’m shocked at the content of ads. When I was growing up, I remember that the drugstore clerk would wrap boxes of sanitary napkins in plain white paper. Heaven forbid that anyone would see that you bought them. Now it seems that nothing is off-limits. The sexualization of women is so pervasive. I happened to see a show recently about wedding dresses, the mother and daughter come in with the mother’s wedding dress, and someone on the show makes a new dress out of the material. This normal young woman kept talking about wanting to emphasize her “cute butt” - on her wedding day, no less - and her mother kept talking about wanting the top to be bare! I remember when wedding dresses had to have sleeves.</p>
<p>I feel very old these days.</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>My impression is that it’s a mix of trying to garner greater ratings for the channel as well as exposing the actual history of Vikings not holding to behavioral norms accepted by the “more civilized”. </p>
<p>Granted, I am not 100% rah rah for the history channel as I’ve spotted some pretty glaring errors in their programming before and have grown sick of that channel for changing most of their program so much that it would be much more appropriate to call them the “UFO/Supernatural/Bizarre” channel than the “history channel”. </p>
<p>The oversanitizing of history in most HS history classes and the overwhelming emphasis on memorizing facts & dates was one reason why many college classmates/undergrads i knew who hated history in HS and before ended up loving it in college. </p>
<p>In college, the history taught not only seemed more real and richer than what was taught in HS…it also sometimes illustrated how history curricula determined by public/private school committees, the PTA, schoolboards, and sometimes even local/state politicians could be heavily distorted or some events even omitted entirely to avoid outrage/complaints.*</p>
<ul>
<li>I.e. Most US students don’t seem to learn about much/anything about the “Banana Wars” the US participated in from the late 19th century till the '30s until they take a college-level US history course or courses on Latin American/Caribbean history. And that’s assuming the student is attending a college which won’t be heavily influenced by local politicians, political groups, etc who are still bent on downplaying/suppressing the teaching of the less savory aspects of our history or those of other societies.<br></li>
</ul>
<p>Also, “Think of the children” arguments have often been used by other countries’ governments to justify not teaching the less savory side of their respective histories to their K-12 students. It’s one of the stock arguments** used by Japanese extreme right-wing groups to not only denounce/suppress the teaching of the atrocities and genocides committed during the heyday of Japanese imperialism, but also to encourage schools to adopt textbooks/curricula which whitewashes and even glorifies that heyday. </p>
<p>** Their term for it is “teaching masochistic history”.</p>
<p>It’s not just HBO or AMC.</p>
<p>Did anyone hear Seth McFarlane on the Oscars? His “We Saw Your B***s” song-and-dance routine? </p>
<p>Maybe I’m just getting old and grumpy. I thought McFarlane’s schtick was especially disturbing because several of those scenes in which the actresses were half-clothed were depictions of domestic violence and rape - like Jodie Foster in “The Accused.”</p>
<p>^^I stopped watching the show at that point. He tried to edgy, but I found it offensive. I’m surprised the GMCLA sang it.</p>
<p>In my early professional life I spent countless hours in court covering some of society’s most depraved members. I’m a little surprised I don’t have PTSD from what I’ve seen and heard in court. I’ve been following the Steubenville case from the beginning and I must say this is as disturbing a case as I have watched and that’s saying a lot.</p>
<p>What I find so appalling is that the boys clearly don’t believe their behavior was wrong. As I read Anonymous, the blogs and other coverage of Steubenville I saw a picture forming of a very tight community held together by football, poverty, and crime.</p>
<p>The prosecutor’s son was involved – on the periphery, IIRC – allegations of a cover up have been made over and over. This community, it’s coaches, sheriff, prosecutor and parents have created an environment of entitlement that is hostile to anyone who opposes them. It’s possible that these boys were born as budding sociopaths, but more likely they were created.</p>
<p>Sadly, their time in juvie will most likely not produce the outcome I’d like to see because I can’t imagine limited counseling will change a lifetime of being raised as a king in a rape culture.</p>
<p>Yes, I believe the defendants were in shock to be convicted and to this day only feel the pictures and videos shouldn’t have been made public for THEIR protection. For them, most of the town and likely others, they did what they wanted do and likely had done to others before and seen buddies do similar things. Women are objects–they are there to serve. IF they have feelings, their feelings don’t count. Any problems will be taken care of by coach.</p>
<p>^That about sums it up.</p>
<p>But do you really think it’s all about victimization of just women? I wonder because there have been more than a couple of cases of hazing or abuse by older boys of younger boys and I find those egregious, also. My perception is that while they engage in behavior of a sexual nature, the same entitlement wouldn’t stop them from vandalizing, cheating or stealing if they felt like it.</p>
<p>I found it interesting that the judge in Steubenville came to his decision in his chambers on a Saturday night and announced on Sunday mid-morning. It therefore became “Breaking News” on national media, interrupting such national prime news shows as Fareed Zakaria’s GPS and unfortunately, Candy Crowley who hashed it over with Poppy Harlow. </p>
<p>Sunday morning is TV news feature heaven, and has been for years. I’m more accustomed to hearing jury verdicts break in during the weekdays, but being a juvenile trial this judge was in charge alone. He could decide when to release his decision.</p>
<p>I wondered if the judge in Steubenville wanted to maximize national attention that way, to get a roar of reaction into the ears of the Steubenville community. </p>
<p>If so, bravo for the judge.</p>
<p>“The mothers are laughing admiringly about the girl’s precocious entrepreneurial skills.” This seems like conjecture. Would these mothers really admire this behavior? Really? That is what I personally find hard to believe."</p>
<p>I find this sadly plausible. We live in a world where a mother plotted to murder another mother to increase her own daughter’s odds of making the cheer squad. Being excited about your daughter’s promising future as a stripper (or trophy wife) isn’t so strange.</p>
<p>Also, regarding the text messages – it is striking to me that some other boys responded to the update by saying things like “u a felon” and that the perpetrators shouldn’t send the pictures around. It gives lie to the idea that boys on the team were all taught that this sort of thing was OK. Other boys on the team knew, at a minimum, that this was illegal behavior and that one could get in trouble for documenting it.</p>
<p>Perfect example of the rape culture that we live in. This was the jist of a conversation I had with a coworker last night. We are both trained to help survivors of DV and sexual assault. We know, objectively, what rape is from our training and yet this still happened: (I’m calling my coworker Alex… obviously not her name) </p>
<p>Alex explained to me that over the weekend she was hanging out with a friend. They were drinking a little but she was not drunk (she’d tell me if she was). He tried to force himself on to her and she pushed him off saying no. He did this multiple times over the course of almost an hour before she finally got him out of her apartment. </p>
<p>Alex almost excused him saying that he thought Alex was playing “hard to get”. Alex then questioned whether or not she did the right thing by saying no to him. She questioned whether or not she said “No” forcefully enough. </p>
<p>I literally replayed her story back to her and asked her what she would tell a client calling with the same story. In doing so, she realize how she sounded. </p>
<p>THAT is rape culture. The almost victim questioning whether SHE did enough to show him that she was not interested. She didn’t blame him for not understanding that no meant no. She blamed herself for not doing enough to stop him.</p>
<p>Romani you are a good friend. Am glad you were able to show your friend why the guy was an aggressor and she did NOTHING wrong. The media shows I’ve seen these days has so much hooking up (often fueled by alcohol) we are all brainwashed that sex is inevitable rather than something to be cherished with ACTIVE consent by both parties.</p>
<p>Sadly as you well know victims often blame themselves-- for not fining the right message, poor judgment in friends, not being forceful enough, the list goes on, as you well know.</p>
<p>I agree zooser, because it isn’t about sex, it is about arrogance and dominance.
My thoughts are the weaker you are inside the more you feel the need to dominate others on the outside.
They never have enough power or stuff because the motivation isn’t acquisition, its to make up for feeling insignificant.</p>
<p>I know little about football, but according to the papers, this kind of behavior isn’t as aberrant in a community dominated by football as is in communities dominated by other interests like swimming or theatre.</p>
<p>My casual observation though is that the game is about physically dominating the other players, not so much by elaborate plays and maneuvers but by violently slamming your body into theirs- sometimes by using your head!</p>
<p>Seems the closest behavior we have to war in civilian life, and it isn’t a big leap for me to imagine that some who adapted that viewpoint of the world are also looking for ways to increase their body count to boost their imagined prestige.</p>
<p>I was last sexually assaulted ( besides the common & unpleasant sexual harrassment that every woman has to put up with just moving about) over 30 years ago. But I have not spent much time thinking about how it made me feel and how to get past that feeling of shame and powerlessness, because it was too painful, it was all I could do to block that part of myself away.</p>
<p>I met and fell in love with my husband when I was just 18, and recently several of my current friends (& myself) wondered how we stayed together for 37 yrs, because in some ways we are very different.
But even though he can have a bad temper & get mad over the most insignificant things ( to me- although like most people he has mellowed considerably with age), and when that was combined with his alcoholism that was pretty terrifying 
( he worked through treatment & has been sober for 17 yrs 
), he was the only one who knew everything that happened to me ( to the best of my recollections), and I knew that if worst came to worst he would physically defend me, but that also he would **never, ever **treat me in that way ( or anyone)no matter how inebriated he became. (& he never has)</p>
<p>That does obviously seem like a fairly low bar, I admit, but I felt surrounded by people that I couldn’t say that about. It was enough to grab onto what I saw as a rope to pull myself out of going down a path which would have been a spiral of self loathing.</p>
<p>And it started because I lived in a society that valued men more than women. Still does going by what women are paid in the Puget Sound area to what men are paid.</p>
<p>For this to stop IMO, * everyone needs to think as a feminist*. Try seeing all interactions in the media & daily life for at least a day ( taking notes if you like) reversed by sex in your head & see if they are unimaginable or ridiculous to you. If men & women are equal, then they can use the same vocabulary, the same motivation and behaviors.</p>
<p>Let’s all be Iggy Pop!
[Image</a> of the Day: Iggy Pop Carries Lady Dior | Fashionista](<a href=“http://fashionista.com/2011/06/image-of-the-day-iggy-pop-carries-lady-dior/]Image”>http://fashionista.com/2011/06/image-of-the-day-iggy-pop-carries-lady-dior/)
</p>
<p>Literally, that would be fantastic.</p>
<p>On the page with the photo is link for an article about French linr of sexy underwear for girls are 4-12! It also has a link about famed photographer “horndog” and has a photo of him with a line of young pretty topless models.</p>