Wow - so sad the FIL was so ungrateful! I have a relative (now gone) that I loved very much. But when she one night complained that the food, where we were picking up the tab, was “poopy”… it really annoyed me. And that was just one complaint, not a constant stream like you endured.
My parents took an Uber to Boulder for my nephew’s graduation. They didn’t go to the big graduation in the stadium but to the department one in the auditorium. It was great because the Uber dropped him right at the entrance (no parking near there but drop offs allowed). I think my BIL went and fetched the car and somehow got my parents picked up after the ceremony. No way they walked to the other side of campus to the engineering building!
This was after my father fell at this nephew’s hs graduation. It was at the theater complex, he was walking to the entrance, fell, cracked his head open, someone (not my sister) went with him to the hospital and he missed the whole thing. Sister didn’t learn her lesson and kept inviting my father to graduations - niece’s in San Diego, nephew’s in Boulder (twice). I did learn and he wasn’t invited my my kids’ graduations because it was just too hard to organize him and his needs.
@Hoggirl - kudos to you for your patience and toleration of your complaining FiL.
My S hasn’t graduated college yet, so we don’t know what it will be like then.
For D’s college graduation I think each graduate could get up to 6 tickets. And they also had open seating (up in the nosebleed that they closed when it was at capacity. D went to college out of state, so not her relatives came to the ceremony, but that was ok. We had a party when we got back home. Her Aunt and Uncle (H’s sister and her husband who are her godparents) and my stepfather attended. And of course H and I and her brother were there. My mother didn’t attend as she was prone to dizzy spells and just didn’t want to have to deal with that while traveling. We invited other relatives, but we knew that since the graduation was out of state we didn’t expect them to drop everything to come.
I agree.
My parents did not attend my college graduation (no ticket limit, less than 1 1/2 hours from home), because my mom considered graduations “boring”. They happily attended my brother’s graduation 2 years prior. My roommate and dear friend (a year behind me in school) stayed on campus a few extra days, and she was my “family” that day.
Yes, it still is a painful memory. And yes, I will love my friend forever for that.
Only my then-BF and room mate and my brother attended my law school and college graduations. My parents didn’t fly to any of our graduations except the brother who graduated from Stanford. No hard feelings—it was just not in the budget to attend countless distant graduations.
I still harbor some resentment at not being able to attend my husband’s college graduation (then boyfriend). Liv Ullmann was the speaker and it was held at Lincoln Center. He only had 3 tickets, so his parents and sister went. I had 2 other good friends who graduated with him and they managed to get lots of extra tickets between them (having cousins etc. attending) but did not think of getting one for me or even asking me if I needed one.
Circling back to give the happy update/ending. D20 graduated last Friday.
I ended up finding a sixth ticket, so all grandparents could attend the in-person commencement.
Thanks to all of the posts here, I went into overdrive planning for every possible scenario (weather, temperature, walking distance to things, accessibility issues, which activities the gparents would be up for v. when it made sense to put them in an uber and send them back to the hotel…). I’m happy to report it was a great few days, and for once in my life, everything actually just worked out perfectly (and thank you, Boston, for providing us with perfect weather on Friday).
We are all still buzzing with happiness. I’m so glad we brought them, even if it provided a set of logistical challenges to work through. H and I did collapse to sleep early on Saturday night once we arrived home, and slept 10 hours straight through (unheard of for us)
Really delighted it worked out. DS was a 2020 grad, so he put on the cap and gown and turned on his laptop in our family room 7 hours away. I think I’ll always carry a seed of sadness that our family gathering/celebration didn’t happen. Yeah, it’s a lot of trouble, and the ceremony isn’t usually anything, but that chance to be together with familiy with the intention of celebrating – priceless!
My son had an off campus apartment near campus so he and his frat brothers attended their virtual graduation together, after which they filled a rolling cooler with beer and walked around campus and took pictures.
Happy for you, DeeCee36!
I agree. My elderly mother who is 90 years old this year, is spry, gardens, takes public transportation, walks fast, and has always been a walker. She had to run a distance of 5 miles to get to her high school classes on time, from her ranch, when she was young.
The issues she had with the graduations were:
-the length of time seated,
-She couldn’t see where our daughter was seated
-distance to the restrooms
-and the heat.
When I was in high school I couldn’t afford a car, so I had to run quite a distance to go catch the bus and I did a lot of walking and running.
When I was in college I rode my bike because I still couldn’t afford a car, and I did a lot of walking.
I am nearing 65 (very very close) and people are amazed that I can keep up with them at a fast pace.
The only issue I have now are my knees as they are starting to give way to the arthritis.
Going upstairs is a pain in the butt but I can get up the stairs. The funny thing is when I tell people my age, they’re always shocked because they assume I’m 20 years younger!
Don’t put me up in the pasture yet! I just got started!
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