<p>It is rude and selfish. </p>
<p>I have a friend for 30 years and he is late 9 times out of 10. That tenth time throws me off because I don’t want to be rude and selfish.</p>
<p>I was just talking to my wife about thus today. She sent me this link.
<a href=“http://vitamintalent.com/vitabites/no-you-are-not-running-late-you-are-rude-and-selfish”>http://vitamintalent.com/vitabites/no-you-are-not-running-late-you-are-rude-and-selfish</a></p>
<p>One of my Facebook friends posted a link to this article last week, and I totally agree with it. An occasional, ‘something-came-up-last-minute’ can be forgiven, but to have it be a pattern is particularly disrespectful of other people’s time.</p>
<p>That being said, the way CC is trending lately, I might pop some popcorn and wait for those people to post who think those of us who are on time have our panties in a wad. </p>
<p>Lol!</p>
<p>I don’t wear panties much. :)</p>
<p>It does not really bother me. </p>
<p>It should. It takes a guy 30 minutes to get to a restaurant and he shows up 30 minutes late. Kind of hard to get there on time this way. ;)</p>
<p>I’m searching my brain trying to find ANYONE I know who is constantly an hour or two late. Are those people for real?! </p>
<p>My in-laws are constantly late- especially my brothers in law. We used to tell them a half hour earlier than we actually intended to be there to pick them up (or they needed to be somewhere) and would text them that we were outside of their apartment ready for them to get in the car when in actuality we hadn’t left our place. Only once did they manage to make it outside before our 10-15 minute drive to get them. </p>
<p>It does bother me. It never used to, but now it does. It is rude and inconsiderate. No, I am not talking about one-off “omg there was a horrible accident and we haven’t moved an inch in 20 minutes!” instances- I completely understand that life happens. I’m talking about people like my in-laws who think the world revolves around them and their schedule. </p>
<p>My students do this. My class is only fifty minutes long and many stroll in 10-20 minutes late. Um…? Really, what is the point of even coming by then? </p>
<p>It IS rude and selfish when it is habitual. And so true about meetings–the start time seems to be nothing more than a guideline for some people. Also, sending a text at the time you were supposed to arrive does not give you a free pass for your lateness. </p>
<p>I think in social situations there is sometimes a bit more latitude. Showing up exactly at 6:30 for a dinner party when that’s the stated time can be rude to hosts who tend to…run late. :)</p>
<p>I think I’ve read that some habitually late people have ADD or some other problems with organization that might explain it. If not, I can’t imagine being 30-60 minutes late all the time. My mother was always a few minutes late here, a few minutes late there, and over time, my dad took it with amusement. It was less stressful than getting angry all the time. He always joked that she would be late for her own funeral. And she was. We never did find out why the funeral procession was 15 minutes late in starting, but as we sat in the car waiting, my brother pointed out that she was indeed late for her own funeral. It brought some needed humor to a sad day.</p>
<p>Imo, some people, some people with ADD are just selfish. When you talk to them about a subject they are interested in the signs of ADD go away. When you talk about something they aren’t interested in they can’t concentrate.</p>
<p>Usually, if you talk about them, the ADD mysteriously disappears. </p>
<p>Sseamom, sorry about your mom.</p>
<p>
It bothers me that @dstark doesn’t wear panties 
</p>
<p>You’ve never heard of hyperfocus, dstark?</p>
<p>Is that a brand of panties?</p>
<p>I have heard of hyperfocus. </p>
<p>I said some…</p>
<p>I know some people with aspergers who arent selfish. </p>
<p>Edit…Ok…I see I wrote the first post where I mentioned ADD incorrectly. </p>
<p>I better drop it. </p>
<p>I don’t know why I threw aspergers in that post…</p>
<p>I better go to sleep now. </p>
<p>I agree, being late is rude and selfish. ADD doesn’t have to mean rude and selfish. ADD is an excuse, not a reason. My ADD son certainly has a lot of faults, but he is always on time. </p>
<p>It is very rude and selfish and practiced by people who think their time is more important than anybody elses. Both my husband and mother have to be the last out the door because they always have a bunch of last minute things they could be doing rather than have their coat on ready. Which makes it a nightmare to go someplace with the two of them. One will be almost ready, but the other is finishing something up so the first will start on some task and so on, and so on. A bright spot is my kids have seen how annoying it is and none of them are ever late.</p>
<p>@dstark </p>
<p>Most of my H’s family has ADHD and Executive Function Disorder and they are ALWAYS very late. My MIL was so late to two of her kids’ weddings that they finally had to start the ceremonies. MIL walked in, high heels loudly clicking down the aisle, halfway thru the ceremonies. She was also very late to a grandchild’s wedding 4 years ago. When H and I got married, we had to fib to her about what time she needed to be there. We told her that she was needed 90 minutes before for pictures, when really her pictures would be taken about 20 minutes before.</p>
<p>Before MIL’s funeral, my H “argued” a bit with his older brother, insisting that BIL get to the funeral on time (older bro can be over an hour late to things…except court…he’s an atty). BIL promised H that he’d be there on time. He wasn’t. He was twenty minutes late. </p>
<p>Some of the problems that ADHD EFD people have:</p>
<p>so interested in what they’re doing or what they want to do, that they won’t stop to get ready, get in the car, or whatever. (My H is rarely late to appts, but he’s never early…but he is OFTEN late getting to the dinner table because he can’t pull himself away from whatever he’s doing…and one of his brothers “yelled” at him about that recently because SIL had made a nice dinner and H couldn’t pull himself away from something unimportant on his computer. I wasn’t there otherwise I would have pushed H to the table…lol) I hate it when he’s late to the dinner table because some foods (fish) are awful if not eaten rather soon after cooked.</p>
<p>difficulty estimating the amount of time it takes to do something…they’ll think: “it will just take me two minutes to get dressed, so I don’t need to stop what I’m doing until a couple minutes before 8 o’clock…and then I’ll leave for work”. But, then it really takes them 20 minutes to get ready…so they’re late.</p>
<p>difficulty anticipating that there can be “hiccups” so they don’t plan for them…so, they’ll think: “it just takes 15 minutes to drive to that restaurant, so I don’t need to leave until 5:15.” But, then they get into their cars and they realize that they have to get gas, and that there is work traffic so the roads are crowded and slow, and it takes them 30 minutes instead of 15. They don’t allow any pad in their schedules for life’s hiccups. </p>
<p>frequently lose things…H has recently lost: His wallet, two sets of car keys, several phone chargers, and his checkbook. </p>
<p>ADHD EFC people seem to mostly only think in real time, little foresight about various matters. If it’s not “right in front of their faces” and “in the front of their brains” it is not considered.</p>
<p>The odd thing is that they rarely seem to learn from experience. You would think that after missing a plane, or arriving too late to the theater to buy tickets (sold out), and so forth, that they would learn from that. No, it seems that many have a memory-less system. They treat the past as “bad luck” that was a fluke, as if it had nothing to do with their behaviors. </p>
<p>When one of the earlier Harry Potter movies came out, H thought I was nuts that we were getting tickets very early and getting to the theater very early…lol. The whole way there, H complained, told me that I was nuts, etc. Of course he had to eat his words when he saw that there already was a crowd there when we arrived. </p>
<p>Yes, if it’s something that they really love to do, they will strangely spend a bunch of time on it and aren’t late. My H is a last minute packer for trips and other things, but if he has a golf tee time, he’ll get his clubs out the evening before, lovingly clean them, and go thru this lengthy process of preparation…something he doesn’t do for regular, but more important things that are coming up. </p>
<p>I am very much a be there early or you are late type of person. My DW is quite the opposite. Years of frustration and research have led to a few nuggets of insight. It does not fix the problem, but at least I grasp the concept.</p>
<p>It turns out that some cultures are just not as time-sensitive as others. The concept of time itself is really just a mechanic we invented to try to make sense of our world (but that is a whole separate thread). The way I finally came to grips with it was to think of a time as a speed limit. I certainly do not drive exactly the speed limit at all times. Usually faster, sometimes slower. Those who are time ‘insensitive’ simply treat schedules the same way. The time is a suggestion. If you have people like that in your life you either find a way to cope with it or get them out of your life. They will never truly understand how infuriating it is for those of us on the other end of the spectrum. They will always be late and we will always be irked. The stress we tend to build because they are late only serves to shorten our lives.</p>
<p>I am always on time (except for the aforementioned dinner parties.) I can’t think of any friends or relatives who are chronically late. </p>
<p>I have people come to exercise classes late every time (I teach exercise) . IF they walk in quietly and get to work it is not a big deal. Often though -they come in unsure of what class it is?" Wait this isn’t Yoga?" or they are new and need help getting set up. It is very disruptive sometimes </p>