<p>Weenie, some students come here because they can’t get the answers they want elsewhere. I <cough> have even suggested to students from time to time they might want to duck into the PF with their questions…sometimes they did, sometimes they didn’t. I think it was just the other day when I promised one that we don’t bite.</cough></p>
<p>you parents are tools.</p>
<p>Ditto, TheDad, for the Parents Forum, but I can’t recall suggesting any students visit the Parent CAFE per se… But hey, if you’re a student and you’re not dissembling about your identity and you’re willing to play in the same pool we’re in, the more the merrier!</p>
<p>Like several others, I chose my screen name to identify myself as a parent. I have never really considered this subject a “problem” but have, at times, been surprised by the identity of a poster as a student (or a parent). </p>
<p>I see this forum sort of as the formal livingroom at a big family party where the adults have gathered for a quiet drink. The conversations are generally for adults but we are always aware that the kids may be listening nearby. They may even “pop in” when we least expect it. But for the most part these students are young adults and I don’t object to them “listening in”. We just need to be aware they are there. And just like the party, they may add their two cents and then retreat back to the fun in the game room with the other teens. Usually I get a kick out of what they contribute to the mix.</p>
<p>Personally, I love it when a teenager chimes in. But usually I’m looking for guidance on a subject where an insider’s view would be especially beneficial. I kind of feel like I’m “cheating” i.e. I’ve got a crib sheet (remember those???) into my teen’s mind and it’s very, very useful.</p>
<p>Another student here.</p>
<p>I come to the parents cafe and the parents forum, because, like others have mentioned, it’s more polite and interesting. I don’t really like going to CC cafe because I don’t learn anything there – I personally don’t like hearing the same (for the most part) poorly argued viewpoints. </p>
<p>I occasionally post for advice, too. There’s a big difference between getting my parent’s view (which I’m probably going to ignore because we don’t get along too well from the fall out of some not exactly kosher things) and getting the views of other parents, who don’t really have an ulterior motive.</p>
<p>I have no problem self-identifying if that makes you guys feel better. I’m on your turf, after all :)</p>
<p>I come here quite often, and because of it, it’s pretty obvious I’m a student. And the fact I have my age. I come here on issues that quite frankly people my own age can’t help me with. When I’m looking for an adult’s perspective.</p>
<p>I’m a little bit surprised that student presence in the parent forums bothers anyone. It never occurred to me to specially identify myself. I see parents in the kid forums all the time, so I figured we were a fairly recognized presence over here. Honestly, I don’t want any special treatment from anyone. I’m 18 years old, which is far past the point where anyone should be cutting me slack for any rudeness or anything else. I like it over here- I’m not a highschool student anymore, and the discussion is often more interesting in the PC. I’m not really planning to start identifying myself as a student in my posts- but fear not, it says my school right near my name :).</p>
<p>You know, it’s funny, Elizabeth, that I’ve never been confused for a student when visiting the Wellesley forum. Hmmm.</p>
<p>celebrian, you’re also a legend! Will you be celebrating when you hit 11,000 posts?</p>
<p>And as long as the kids stay out of Sinner’s Alley and not try to use a fake ID I don’t have a problem with them in the Cafe. Who’s the bouncer again? Curmudgeon?</p>
<p>
Kluge,
being the exception to your thoughtful concern, let me say that I have no problem with being addressed as if I were, as you say, a big kid. Although I cannot claim to have ever shared your perspective in any post that I can now recall, I have never felt that I was particularly ill-treated, as a teenager, in your discourse </p>
<p>But then, I have some perspective. </p>
<p>There are, as you say, dads, and a feisty mom or two, here who have in fact spewed hateful invective in my direction in place of a reasoned opinion, rational defense or show of dignity, but I always felt that there lack of grace–sadly considering their years–reflected more upon their aged and souring etiquette than upon their fresh and ripening target but, in their defense, perhaps I have an inflated impression of their once-upon-a-time youthful gentility: some fruit sours even while plump and hanging from the tree…</p>
<p>A lack of class is a lack of class, no matter the years of the subject or the object in any particular diatribe or opinion. I prefer to be addressed with wit, wisdom and humor, and I hope to offer the same.</p>
<p>Interestingly, I’ve noticed that we haven’t had, as yet, the kind of student personalities of past years. Where is the tlaktan of 2005? I liked cheering him on from deferral through acceptance through to “OMG! How I am Going to Afford Georgetown?”</p>
<p>Is it my imagination? Is there more student pretension and entitlement in the air this year? --Though the list of acceptances is refreshingly broad in 2005.</p>
<p>I take it as a compliment when kids chime in on a parents forum. I’ll post on Chances or Selection threads or my kids’ particular college threads because I think I have something to say that might be of some value to someone. However I know when to stay away from kids discussions…always try to make it clear by the language or whatever that I’m not a kid.</p>
<p>A few years ago there was a student poster, I guess it was on Princeton Review, who constantly caused trouble on the parent forums. He used to talk about his “fine ivy” and being at a top 5 law school. Everything else was a ttt (third tier toilet, a horrible expression I thankfully don’t hear here). There were threads devoted to trying to out him…anyone else remember him and what his screenname was?</p>
<p>Yes, a case in point. FountainSiren, perhaps if your posts called for responses of wit or humor, you’d get them. You shouldn’t enage in passive-aggressive obnoxiousness and then cry “Foul!” or hide behind tender years when you get called on it.</p>
<p>FountainSiren, believe me, you are not “the exception to my concern.” I know how old you are. And the last thing I would want to do is to stop you from presenting your knee-jerk right wing, pro-Christian Fundamentalist (“but I’m a Sufi!”) opinions in this forum. 
At your age my best friend was a Sufi and I was a Libertarian. I like to see strong opinions articulated by a smart young person - even better if those opinions are a little quirky. And you’ve posted some very thoughtful comments on some threads (most of which I have not responded to.) But… there are people - some of whom are parents who post on this forum - who confuse the adoption of an air of arch superiority for wit, pomposity for wisdom, and smug denigration of those they disagree with for humor. (A trait which is not confined to any particular side of the political spectrum, believe me.) When I see that form of “argument” coming from a 50 year old it annoys me; I may respond in kind or (much better) just ignore it. But when I see a post like that written by an 18 year old, my reaction is different. (Remember, in this thread, it’s not about you, it’s about me.) It dismays me to see that form of essentially phony “debate” tactic being adopted by a new and brighter generation. I don’t want to argue with them, I want to make them sit at a table and write: “I won’t substitute pretentious put-downs for honest argument when I disagree with someone’s opinion” 100 times. But that’s condescending, isn’t it? So I end up erasing my post, or rewriting it to take out all the good parts, and just addressing factual errors that I think are beneath the talent level of the poster. That’s not how I treat “the big kids.”</p>
<p>
That was a very mean thing to say about those who respond to my posts–often responding with wit, wisdom and humor. Kluge would be a good case in point of this, along with many other less pretentious, haughty and ill posters and Im havent even gotten to your posts TD, which deserve their own acidic category.</p>
<p>Kluge, as I said
its all good. Moreover, I dont believe I have ever referred to you or your posts as phony, pretentious or condescending have I? Nor have I referred to you or your posts as exhibiting an air of arch superiority for wit, pomposity for wisdom, and smug denigration. If I have, let me know and I will quickly redess them.</p>
<p>I usually deal with the content of a post or return wit for wit, and humor for humor. I hope that is no offensive, but I may at times go off the track. I often even put a little effort into my postsout of respect for those who might read it you know, for people like you who I often find on the opposite side of an issue.</p>
<p>See!!! See!!! That’s exactly what I’m talking about. I started out writing something really, really mean to FountainSiren, then I deleted it, then I rewrote it, then I edited it, and it was still kind of mean, so I edited it some more, and by the time I was finished, I’d taken all the good stuff out. But if I didn’t know FountainSiren was a student, well… the first draft had some really good bile and vitriol, believe me. (Well, more like snarky waspishness, but really clever with some big words and everything.)</p>
<p>Which is why I figure it’s better for my peace of mind if I know when I’m responding to a student, instead of a parent.</p>
<p>
So, in “taking out all the good parts” you save yourself from condescension, and become merely presumptuous. With particular self-backpatting due to your advanced age and acquired wisdom. I think a certain etiquette is called for in the Parents’ Cafe, just as it is called for at the parents’ dinner table…but that doesn’t require snootiness on our part, I think. There are other ways to teach these young whippersnappers–without turning them off. Wow…just saw your latest. You are really uptight. Go out on the parent’s porch and have a smoke or something.</p>
<p>
I usually ignore Driver.</p>
<p>Wow - this thread has gotten a little nasty for me. Leaving now!</p>