<p>“If he violates that protective order, it’s a crime”.</p>
<p>True, but if the first time he violates it he succeeds in killing her what good did the order do?</p>
<p>I also think being on the same campus would make things difficult. On one hand he could be told that he must avoid certain areas or campus dining venues at various times, but that would be telling him when she’d likely be there.</p>
<p>I don’t know if this is accurate, but it seems in this teachable moment there isn’t a lot of education being offered on domestic/intimate partner violence. </p>
<p>[Anushay</a> Hossain: Murder In Jefferson’s Village: UVA Death Exposes Reality of Intimate Partner Violence](<a href=“HuffPost - Breaking News, U.S. and World News | HuffPost”>Murder In Jefferson's Village: UVA Death Exposes Reality of Intimate Partner Violence | HuffPost College)</p>
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<p>Actually, my comment was general, why do people kill people they claim to love. It is bizarre as far as I am concerned because I don’t ever envision myself killing anyone I love.</p>
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<p>There some people who just look like murderers (watch some of the prison shows), this has nothing to do with race, income or education level. This guy does not come across as someone who is capable to committing a crime this heinous.</p>
<p>how do they look?</p>
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<p>I can’t imagine even hitting someone I love (and that includes spanking my children). Unfortunately, many, many people think and behave differently than you and I. Domestic violence is a disgustingly common behavior in the human experience.</p>
<p>*how do they look? *</p>
<p>Mean!</p>
<p>Seriously, though, some criminals do “look” like criminals…beady eyes…LOL, but some people don’t.</p>
<p>lindz126, it is the kind of I know it when I see it. Some of the prisoners are so menacing even the prison guards (and most of the prisoners) are afraid of them.</p>
<p>Some horrible, horrible crimes have been committed by attractive, clean cut, “normal” looking people.</p>
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<p>Who could ever forget that magazine cover of Charles Manson? That guy scared the &*$# out of me when I was a youngster. Those eyes…my God, they were absolutely evil.</p>
<p>not meant to be mean at all. a sincere question. if we believe that humans that commit murders look like, well, murderers we see as depicted in prisons in film or TV , we will continue to miss people who are violent and potentially dangerous.</p>
<p>I was on the jury for a sexual predator case . . . The guy was small and mousy looking. If he’d been cast for a TV show, it would have been in the role of “meek accountant” or something along those lines. Yet his previous crimes included molested/exposed himself to multiple young girls, trying to kidnap a teenage girl who was standing at a bus stop, and raping a lady in her car . . . while her terrified young children were in the back seat.</p>
<p>Some dangerous people do indeed appear dangerous . . . but don’t count on it. You just never know.</p>
<p>(In regards to the UVA player, though, I do think there is something seedy about his appearance. But, that may be a bias from knowing what he’s done.)</p>
<p>I had no idea Virginia law was so antiquated with regard to restraining orders. We’ll see how the current administration in Virginia addresses this, but I’d be shocked if much changes unless they are shamed into it. The fall might be a good time for the women from the state schools to band together and march on Richmond. My D would be there. On the other hand, I wish restraining orders were more effective. There is very little that can be done to protect a victim from domestic abuse, short of going into hiding. Far too many women have been killed within days or hours of getting a restraining order and interviews follow with family members telling others that the victim knew she would be killed. We had a case in Baltimore in which the husband stabbed his wife to death on the court house steps within hours of her getting a restraining order.</p>
<p>*Seriously, though, some criminals do “look” like criminals…beady eyes…</p>
<p>Who could ever forget that magazine cover of Charles Manson? That guy scared the &*$# out of me when I was a youngster. Those eyes…my God, they were absolutely evil. *</p>
<p>But, of course, some people don’t look like criminals. Ted Bundy sure didn’t. Scott Peterson doesn’t. No one is saying that someone who “looks nice” can’t be evil and do violent things. It’s just that the way we think, we sometimes have a hard time wrapping our brains around the idea of attractive people committing evil things.</p>
<p>There is a lot of domestic abuse in the area where I live. Sometimes it is the shady looking ones - minority, no job, criminal record. Unemployed drug abusing stepfathers sexually abusing their girl friends babies - stuff like that.
However, we have had several instances where successful businessmen in the community have killed their wives, kids or wives and kids.
One case was a funeral home director who claimed his wife “accidentally” drowned in the pool while he was sleeping and the kids were on a sleepover. In actuality - he beat her and threw her in the pool.
Another was a case of a man who killed his kids in a custody dispute.
Another was a man who chased his ex-girlfriend in a car. She had her female friend in the care and their two toddlers in the back seat. She stopped at a RR Crossing when the gates went down and he rammed his car into hers, on the tracks and in front of the train. All four were killed, he claimed it was an “accident”.</p>
<p>Please spare me the stereotypes. There are none.</p>
<p>Restraining orders:
they are good and bad. They don’t prevent someone from attacking you and killing you. They can provide a false sense of security. Women have been killed by those they had a restraining order against.</p>
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<p>Perhaps some people cling to the stereotypes due to a conscious or unconscious hope that they can somehow protect themselves from evil if they are able to “recognize” it when they see it.</p>
<p>There was a horrible murder several years ago in Dallas. A man in a very affluent community killed his wife, almost decapitating her in front of their horrified 3 children. I was acquainted with this man years before as he was a member of a fraternity in which my longtime boyfriend was a member. They were in the same pledge class or within one class, since they were the same age. I didn’t really know him, but he certainly didn’t look like someone who would not only go on to kill his wife, but would also attempt to put out a "hit’ on her brother from jail-he wanted to burn his wife’s brother’s house down, even though he was aware that his children lived there and could have very well been inside the house. </p>
<p>He looked like a normal family man/business man.</p>
<p>Civilization is a thin veneer.</p>
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<p>Perhaps it’s because I live in the Chicago area, and see LOTS of news video of Peterson, but he’s always come across as very creepy to me. The way he talks, carries himself, etc., in such an arrogant way. Not to say that every arrogant person is a murderer, but Peterson’s eyes and facial expressions are just cold (I guess except for when he’s picking up women).</p>
<p>teriwtt…are you thinking of Drew Peterson? The guy who likely killed wives number three and four? I think posters were talking of the younger Scott Peterson in CA who killed his pregnant wife and threw her in the ocean. Agree that Drew has an arrogant shady look and Scott doesn’t look like a criminal.</p>