I think sometimes there are some parents with high expectations on this site who think it does…
There are definitely students on this site who fear their parents will blame them (for their minor imperfections) if they don’t make the cut at HYPS. I have never seen an actual parent participating in discussions here take that kind of position.
Some ask for opinion/advice, some for approval. They all get what they ask for from me.
Also, whatever they get is worth exactly the amount of money they pay for it.
And there are parents at the opposite end of the spectrum. Just last week, talked to a parent with 1590 SAT1, 4.7 weighted GPA, and 3.9 unweighted in a very competitive high school, whose kid just had planned to apply to the state flagship university. The parent was worrying about the stressful environment, financial costs (planing to send the kid to medical school afterward), and low acceptance rates of the top schools, so not encouraging the kid to apply any at all. After further learning that the kid had decent ECs and had been had 7 hours of sleep each nigh, I encouraged the parent to try to apply some top schools and their merit scholarship too.
My S had grades/scores in the range of the first couple posts. Maybe a tick higher on SAT, lower on SAT 2s. Not URM, not hooked in anyway, not athlete blah blah blah. I remember a full professor at the College where I worked as a lowly adjunct and counselor doubting my kid’s ED choice. This prof’s kid went to a renowned magnet in NYC; mine went to the very low-rated local HS in the town we worked in.
My S got into the Ivy he applied ED to. Fancy Prof’s kid did not. Doubting where a person’s kid applies is not a good look, nor is thinking that, with a few stats, you know better.
Just tell them they can get more information on CC. Nothing works quite as well to burst an overconfident parent’s bubble 
@garland, I think there are some advantages going to the big not-so-great high school. It can be a healthier experience and as long as there are some intellectual peers and decent teachers, they can be very well prepared for college and actually do better in the admissions game than some kids at the big name high schools.
There are so many great colleges and universities out there. There is a school for every type of student. Where a student attends college will not dictate that students success. I really think there is no secret formula when it comes to the admissions process. Unless you are in the room while the applications are being reviewed it’s all conjecture.
@intparent I so agree that there are parents who will blame their kids or at least say things that make their child feel bad for not getting into an Ivy. We have friends whose son is a recruited athlete and I mentioned U of Richmond to them as a great choice for DS and the Dad said no he can do better! I said do you mean Ivy league? He said yes, but then proceeded to say DS would not be a recruited athlete at an Ivy because his sport is very competitive at the Ivy’s. But of course some distant relative had gone to Ivy so you know he was in! I feel so bad for this kid because he could get a great scholarship at a fantastic school, but I think the parents have set the bar so high for him. Smile and Nod!
In my local public HS, it’s not unusual for students to brag about getting into ALL the schools they applied to. Because they didn’t stretch themselves and aim high enough, IMO. Students should have zero shame in rejections. No shame in taking a flyer or two (or more!) as long as you have a balanced and well thought out list. They’re called reaches for a reason.
I second that thought …
College applications are absolutely a place where you can have done “everything right” … and still not get the desired result… and that’s a GOOD thing, b/c that’s sort of the way life works too. Better to learn how to make lemonade at 18. The vast majority of the kids who do not get into their dream/reach end up going to another school (even the dreaded “safety”) and have a great experience.
Speaking of “doing everything right.” I’m signed up as an interviewer for my small, very selective LAC (you can easily figure it out from my history) and I was reading over the “expectations” for the interview report. I’m just glad I didn’t see this before my kids interviewed for college. I mean, just being an all-around interested, and interesting, kid (I don’t see scores or gpa or such) would get them a very middling score on my sheet. A top score would be someone who had (IMHO) 0.1% level out-of-box curiosity, self-awareness, proactivity, understanding of the wider world, engagement with the community, etc. etc. I’m just saying that even with perfect GPA and SAT, these schools are looking for other stuff too. Not that my report will make or break someone; it’s just that the competition has become truly fierce. Just being val with a tiptop SAT is no way going to cut it.
Back in the day (circa 1980) “doing everything right” including being a top student and having high test scores was often enough to get admitted to a top school such as Penn with a 40% acceptance rate. Times have changed and admissions standards are much tougher with single digit acceptance rates. That might be why some parents seem misguided about today’s college admissions landscape.
My oldest only got into half the schools he applied to. One of the school he got into was Harvard. If you are a kid who can reasonably aim for Harvard you can easily collect a lot of rejections.
@foobar1 Back in the day U Penn was my safety school - obviously it’s not a safety for anyone any more.
OP- I liked your response. I sure hope the “standard” schools are typical choices for the college bound in the area. Everything is relative- the fish size depends on the pond size. You kindly did not point out how there are students in a higher tier than this one. Everyone needs to remember that fully 1/4 of students are in that bottom quartile by definition.
@foobar1 I had to laugh. I applied to Penn in the 80s from Southern California. A friend’s mom (from NYC) said “oh you should go to Wharton.” When I did my admissions interview the admissions counselor said “wow, I usually don’t see such a big difference between the math and verbal scores.” I thought oh no. Then she said “oh wow, you’re a region five!” I beamed and said “yes I am” and then had a good interview. I had no idea what “region 5” meant but I could tell it was good. Thank goodness that Penn wanted more kids from California at that point in time…because it was the only way I got into Penn!
I girl I know applied to Stanford last year. She had a good gpa, test scores a touch low, a few EC. Her chances were low of getting into Stanford but she never would have been happy if she hadn’t taken the chance. She got into a lot of other schools like UCLA, Cal, USC, Colorado, Washington, so her ‘back ups’ were fine. She just really wanted to go to Stanford.
It didn’t really matter what you said to her, she heard “You’re not good enough for Stanford.” If you said the other schools were good too, she heard “Not as good as Stanford.”
Something we say about prep schools, “The student makes the school, not the other way around.” Chasing prestige is hollow and unfortunately, doesn’t lead to happiness.
There is nothing that you are going to do to influence the outcome so its always “good luck” even though you think they have no chance. Let them feel good about themselves for a while.