No, I think all these things are dementia. My cousin is 92 and lives alone, managing her affairs quite well. That’s “normal aging” (which is rare!). Cognitive issues are indications of some kind of cognitive disease, in my opinion.
1 Like
My aunt had early -onset Alzheimer’s, and it was apparent very quickly that something was terribly wrong. She couldn’t recognize dates or days or times at first, and she was only 61. Then she couldn’t remember people, even people she knew, and then she became frightened of ordinary things like the mailman. All in the space of maybe a year.
My dad had vascular dementia. He became irritable and argumentative, and fixated on odd things – a stuffy nose became a tumor, he wanted to mow the lawn but always got the mower stuck, he was convinced his 02 pump didn’t work and took it apart. This over the course of maybe 3 years, and it was very difficult early on to do much more than helplessly watch because in many cognitive ways he was fine.
My mom has immense trouble making good decisions, and can’t remember things (did she take her meds? Did she change her clothes? ) . She also has these vivid dreams that she mistakes for actual occurrences. But she is also 90, and the day/date confusion isn’t as alarming as “I climbed on a chair to get the clock down to check and see if it is working”.
I think one BIG thing all of us should do at about 65 is have a hearing test, and get hearing aids if we fail. So much of confusion is simply really awful hearing. Mom is getting hers checked in a few weeks, after living with my father who never, ever, had time to get his corrected and made us all miserable making up the difference for him.
8 Likes
Yes, I was going to suggest possible hearing loss for @MaineLonghorn’s H’s situation. I’ve noticed with family members who have hearing loss that they act as if they heard, when in fact they did not.
9 Likes
My mom was also in her mid 60s when we starting seeing small changes. By 76 she was unable to do any ADLS independently and was in a memory care facility. She passed away at 78.
4 Likes
I visited my parents last month just after my dad moved into a nursing home. I spotted his old analytical chemistry textbook from college and brought it home with me. I thought my spouse, who teaches that class, would get a kick out of it.
My dad died a couple days ago. This morning my spouse sat at the dining table with some paper, opened the book to a problem where my dad had made some notes about getting stuck, and correctly solved the problem (confirmed with the answer key in the back). When I asked what was going on: “I finished your dad’s homework” 
31 Likes
That’s adorable and touching. 
2 Likes
I’m so sorry for your loss. Your spouse sounds like a great person too. Was your dad a teacher or a chemist?
2 Likes
He was a chemist before computer science was really a thing. So he worked as a chemist for a while and then became a programmer in aerospace. He and my spouse got along great and had real affection for each other. It’s very sweet.
9 Likes
My dad and DH were also buddies. I remind myself sometimes that DH is also grieving our loss. He collects slide rules and when Mom found my dad’s college one in a drawer she gave it to DH and they both cried.
10 Likes
I’m so sorry!
2 Likes
So sorry @ColdWombat
3 Likes
I am so very sorry for your loss.
2 Likes
What a wonderful testament to their relationship. I’m sorry for your family’s loss.
2 Likes
Sorry to hear about your Dad. Sending you wishes for peace (and stamina too) in the coming weeks.
2 Likes
So sorry for the loss of your dad, Cold Wombat.
2 Likes
Signs of dementia before diagnosed…
- Clutter in home increased a lot.
- Auto delivery of groceries…and the same things were ordered every week whether needed…or not.
- Was ok on phone calls once a week, but was NOT OK for a weeklong visit. Couldn’t make up mind about things like “what kind of restaurant would you like to go out to?”
- A year before…refused to fly here even though the reservations had been made, and it was a trip done numerous times before.
4 Likes
Oh, the clutter in my parents’ home was a huge sign. Mom was always a good housekeeper. In 2019, I was shocked at how bad things had gotten. Just piles of stuff everywhere. Now, if that was me, it would be one thing, but it was not like Mom.
Also, she had beautiful long hair that she always kept neat and attractive, but now looking at photos of her even three years before her death, I can see that she was not taking care of it. In 2019, it was so bad that I had to find a salon that could detangle it. 
5 Likes
Yes! Clutter! By the time we moved my parents out of their home literally every surface was covered in piles of paper. Someone without dementia wouldn’t be able to find something once you put it down, it would blend in with all the other random things piled up. It was almost a hoarder’s house.
Another sign here…weight loss. Even though the fridge was full of food, and the freezer and cabinets too…my mom lost a LOT of weight. I think she was thinking she had eaten…when she hadn’t. We see that in my MIL now. If someone isn’t with her at mealtime, even the prepared meal doesn’t get eaten.
2 Likes