So very sorry to hear this. Be kind to yourself. Wishing you peace…
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I am so very sorry for your loss. Please know that you have a whole virtual community sending you strength. Hugs!
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@Fallgirl: One of the advantages of a virtual community is that you can say things here you might not want to say to people in your real life. We are all here for you, to support you as much as you need and to “feel the feels” with you whenever it gets overwhelming.
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Sending you condolences and wishing you peace. May you feel the caring in your communities.
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I’m another old timer … sending you good wishes as you get through this. As I have had a fairly recent (2024) spousal loss, please PM me if I can help “listen”.
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I am so sorry about the death of your husband. Wishing you strength to get through this difficult time from afar.
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@FallGirl, thank you for sharing your loss with us. Sending you and your family my deepest condolences. You have been through a traumatic loss, and it will take time to heal. We are here for you as you work through your journey of grief.
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Thanks, everyone. I do feel this is one of my communities and I will be reaching out as needed so I am thankful you are here.
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I’ve just read Geraldine Books’ Memorial Days, her memoir on the death of her husband, Tony Horwitz.
Has anyone else read this? Did you find it helpful?
She alternates chapters between hearing the news of his death (he was on a book tour) in the US and a time of escape and reflection on a distant island off the coast of Australia.
For me, it was interesting, but not great. Yet, I find myself wanting to read more memoirs of death! Any suggestions?
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Joan Didion - The Year of Magical Thinking.
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Maya Lang What We Carry
Nicole Chung A Living Remedy
Paul Kalanith When Breath Becomes Air
Andy Mudd Unremarkable
And of course
Atul Gatawande Being Mortal
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My son just happened to give me a copy of “The Amen Effect” by Sharon Brous ( she is a rabbi) when H was sick and we knew his diagnosis was terminal. It was/is enormously helpful and I will be re reading it again soon. She discusses how terrible things happen in life , but that life also brings great joy, sometimes at the same time.
I’m still in the weeds closing accounts, have an appointment with the bank and with social security, our lawyer, etc.
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@mom22039 Agree with: "When Breath Becomes Air ", Paul Kalanithi
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Thanks…. I’ve read some of these, but keep the ideas coming!
(Another dear friend lost her husband to cancer yesterday).
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Leaving tomorrow morning-back to the rural area where H and I grew up, we will be scattering ashes on Saturday morning ( private -family only) and then a celebration of life and luncheon. A lot of people are planning to attend including several family members and friends from out of state.
But I’m feeling lonely this evening. The days are not bad , I’m busy but now it’s just …quiet.
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I hope you find something to distract you during the lonely evening. Hopefully the gatherings this weekend will bring some comfort and maybe even a few smiles.
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I wish I knew what to say. I think back to the Class of 2013 thread and how close people were there - I wish we could all be there with you now. You are an incredibly strong woman but know that we are here for you. I hope the next few days provide a bit of closure and comfort for you.
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It’s hard when the task list gets short enough to take a breath, and then the silence is so present.
We’ll be thinking of you. May the shared grief give a bit of respite. One day at a time.
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Hugs. 
I hope you will feel lifted up by the love of family and friends this weekend.
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Hugs.
This thread might be the best one to ask - I have a close friend who has been struggling with cancer. I don’t believe she has much longer. She asked us to come out and stay with them, primarily to support her husband. We are headed out there next week. Plan on being there, listening primarily and helping out with mundane stuff like meals. Conversation will be hard/awkward with her H I am sure - any tips?
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