<p>I think this is one of the missing ingredients to my recovery (writing from a center where I’m having my fifth inpatient psychiatric stay-- at least I have communal internet access this time), I stay in a basement apartment with three roommates, and I don’t feel close enough to open up to them. One of them I’m not in a good relationship with, ever since I didn’t dispose of the Thanksgiving turkey in the fridge properly before I had to leave in a hurry for the airport right after class. Currently I’m staying at a center with a strong sense of community and support and I would l like to have that when I leave. </p>
<p>I don’t think weekly support groups would do it, plus there really isn’t one that fits me-- there’s a bipolar support group at CAPS at student health but I’m not really bipolar, more like closer to a mix of schizoaffective (depressive type) and borderline personality disorder (my aggression only shows online, though haha, in real life interactions I am too timid to show it-- but I have the other traits, including risk-taking, emotional instability, clingy attachment, severe and chronic suicidality, B&W emotional thinking). In any case I think being shut up in my room when I’m in a depressive crisis with no one bothering to wake me is not good for my mental health, I would really like to be part of a community. I feel like living with people who can support each other and feel comfortable enough to drag each other out of bed or to events would be good. </p>
<p>My really good friends have all graduated and are elsewhere so it’s not like I could live with them-- I really envy those roommates (especially girls) are so chummy with each other. I am not like most guys (I am in fact transgender) who value being nonverbal, chill and “laid back” – I prefer intimacy and involvedness. </p>
<p>Currently I’m in a lease till August but I think my landlord would be understanding, especially if he could have time to find a replacement. The thing is I don’t know any place that I would look for a supportive environment that would also be affordable to a college student and reasonably close to my school. I’m curious what parents here have found out from children who suffer from mental illness. I just think a warm and supportive housing environment would be a good deterrent against killing myself alone, in my room, or going off to sleep on the railroad tracks alone.</p>
<p>Have you considered a half-way house of some kind? It sounds like you still need a lot of support and I’m not sure, just based on what you’ve written, that you are ready for independent living.</p>
<p>Is there a social services department at the center at which you are currently staying? Hospital social services are usually involved in discharge planning. I wonder if they know of any halfway houses or even board and care facilities (also known as residential housing) that may be appropriate for you.</p>
<p>Ugh, that’s a hard one. My son with your diagnosis (except bipolar, not depressive, subtype) was not able to live away from home. He’s doing OK at home, but he requires a lot of support from his dad and me. We’ve asked around and haven’t been able to locate any living situations at this point that would be good for him. He’s a 20-year-old college junior.</p>
<p>My heart goes out to you. I will keep you in my prayers. Please hang in there! Let me know if you find something, because maybe it would give me a lead for DS.</p>
<p>Is living at home and commuting to college out of the question? You say that this is your fifth inpatient stay. Is there anyone in your family who is supportive of your recovery? I’m wondering if college is the healthiest environment for you right now.</p>
<p>I’m just one grade below hospitalization currently (they said they would TDO me if I didn’t go to the Wellness Recovery Center-- I’ve been hospitalized in Five East four times and TDO’ed involuntarily once.) I’m an out of state student 700 miles away from my mom, so commuting isn’t an option, and would make me feel more disconnected / more depressed, anyway. </p>
<p>Last time, the hospital didn’t make any living arrangements – I just went straight back to school. I don’t know what the WRC will do at the moment.</p>
<p>My heart goes out to you. But if I were your mom, I would tell you that your health and well-being are the most important things right now. I would say, take a medical leave from school, come home and–if you want–take some classes near home for the time being. I would say that I love you and I want you to live a happy, healthy life and that is not going to happen if you go back to school when you are not ready and don’t have the support nearby. I hope you’ve shared with your mother what you have shared with us here. If not, please do.</p>
<p>Ugh being stuck at home (Maine is so depressing!) away from all my friends would definitely make me want to kill myself. Taking medical leave would be really severely depressing for me. I just need to graduate, and move on with life, and move to NYC where my friends are going.</p>
<p>So very sorry to hear you’re going through this. Do your parents know what’s going on? If I were your mom, I would be extremely concerned about your well being. I can understand that you want to stay at college with your friends, but it really sounds like you’re struggling. If you definitely don’t want to move back home, then I would agree that perhaps a half way house or residential housing might be your best bet. My heart goes out to you.</p>