" The manager was in the wrong as well as your coworkers for that champagne. He should have known better or asked for their credit card before bringing the bottles over. Bad form all around."
I would have pushed back on this charge. You authorized an open bar, which means individual drinks. You did not authorize “independent” purchases of bottles of champagne.
Wow, people were out to fleece you! I wonder it would have helped if one has a word with the manager beforehand any request not on the contract should be paid by guests. If they ask for an extra meal, waitstaff would simply ask for their credit card or let them know how much without consulting hosts.
Yeah, those examples were not “tacky”–they were rude. hard to believe people think that behavior is okay. And I agree that pushback on paying for what you didnt authorize would have been appropriate.
My daughter is getting married in Oct. There are 98 family members invited, most on our side. Because it is a Catholic wedding, it has to be at 2 pm in this particular church. The church is about 25 minutes away from the reception venue, which is owned by the groom’s parents. Her plan is to have the wedding, then while pictures are finishing up, etc, guests who go to the venue will have snacks and drinks. Lawn games will be set up for everyone to play, including the couple, before dinner. A friend of mine can’t understand why I’m not wearing a long gown and why we are playing lawn games barefoot (she’s not nearly close enough to be invited). My family will be out there in a heartbeat playing, as will the couple’s friends and probably most of DH’s family. Why waste 40 acres when you have a bit of time to kill. 
@cap That sounds like a wonderful plan!
@cap Sounds fun to me. 
to your critical friend.
I think it sounds fun, too.
I’m in the camp that today’s weddings ARE better than yesterday’s because there are fewer specific outlines / guidelines that need to be followed.
In hindsight, I think my 1986 wedding and those of my friends who got married around the same time all looked pretty much the same. Formal script on white or cream Crane’s invitations. The same Princess Diana type wedding dresses. The same taffeta or silk moire look for bridesmaids. Only tuxes for the men. The same schedule of events (no lawn games!). The same kinds of food – and heavens, always sit down with waiter service, never buffet, tut tut. The same white wedding cake instead of creative or fun desserts. And they “had” to be in country clubs or hotel ballrooms – never any of the fun, fresh settings of today. We all did the same bouquet toss and (I know, I know) the garter thing.
I think today is a much better time to hold these events, personally. There’s a lot more freedom to go up and down the formality chain, and a lot more freedom to jettison things you don’t care for or introduce new things.
I had a DIY wedding in my Mom’s house, and I was at a couple other informal home weddings, in the 80s. But my absolute favorite was one which took place at the UMich Nat History Museum, in front of the Mastodon. So they weren’t all cookie cutter in the 80s!
I definitely agree with your larger point, though–I like the general relaxing of guidelines.
Here’s a wedding custom that I witnessed once–at a Greek wedding, the older gentlemen carried fistfuls of dollars out to the dance floor, and flung them over the heads of the wedding couple, as they danced to traditional Greek music (the groom was not Greek, and apparently there were much dancing lessons involved.)
I thought it was charming.
What happened to all the tacky stuff??? My late MIL had a purple eel skin purse on her shoulder in all the photos of the families together and on the dance floor. I blame the photographer for not telling her to put the purse down.
A cousin was married in about 1979-80. I remember her invitation included a notation that in lieu of gifts, the couple would like a contribution to their mobile home fund.
Tacky enough for you @jym626 ?
Not a tradition, but some of my wedding party (including DH and I) went to the dance club next door after the reception was over. We didn’t stay long—just a drink (actually, my only one of the night) It was a fun way to extend the party just a little bit longer…
We made sure we ate at the reception! I wanted to enjoy the food (as well as not pass out due to hunger!)
Most recent wedding we attended had reception at country club. Bride, groom, and wedding party spent most of evening on porch getting high. Only us old folks were inside socializing/dancing/enjoying band.
That’s hysterical, @twoinanddone !!!
@jym626 wrote
Because you know somebody would have stolen that bad boy in a heartbeat! :))
The champagne story-my grandmother would have said “those people have some nerve!”
@garland, I can’t believe I missed out on the Mastadon idea! Ex and I are both UM grads, and our wedding took place only 25 miles away. That museum was my favorite spot on campus as a student. Darn it!
@cap - That sounds like a lot of fun!
@marlene - Tacky! What did the parents of the bride and groom say?
I also really love the freedom that today’s brides have. At a recent wedding my D went to, the groom carried the bride out of the ceremony piggy-back, formal gown and all. When I was that age, the 2 most important instructions for the recessional were 1. don’t forget your bouquet, and 2. don’t walk too fast. A piggy-back ride was not even to be thought of. But for this couple, it suited their personalities and the ceremony, and the joy and happiness on their faces was a sight to behold. No one there seemed to think it was tacky; everyone in camera range is smiling/laughing and clapping.
LasMa, my husband would have been fuming! He even hates when humor is attempted during the ceremony.
@MotherOfDragons - Maybe my MIL was afraid to put down that purple eel skin gem because she was afraid it would get confused with all the other ones that looked just like it :))