<p>Waving my hand as a rash, immature 55 yo I guess! I’m so rash and immature that I’ve held the same job for a decade, have helped my H buy a house, have three happy, successful kids, a large group of close friends and family and and overall good life. I’ll take the expletives of rash and immature. </p>
<p>I guess I like to advertise! However, I didn’t feel all that immature getting my first tattoo at age 48. Maybe it’s my part of the country, but tattoos in the executive ranks are so common that it just doesn’t raise eyebrows anymore. Dressing appropriately at the office seems to be much more of an issue these days.</p>
<p>I’am just back from a week in a tropical locale. Lots of tattoos. In my opinion the quality of work in the tattoo makes a difference as does the location. Teardrops under the eyes or dollar signs on your neck get a level of judgement where a tattoo on a back or arm does not. If the Mom and Dad have tattoos and are giving their young child a bottle of orange soda and bag of red not Cheetos I judge them.
One of my children has an entire back filled and one whole side of her torso filled with tattoos. When she is dressed for work they are covered. Do I love them. To be honest I would have preferred she not have them but it is her body not mine. All but one of her tattoos are well done by people who I would consider artists. Two very large ones are amazing in skill. She researched places and carefully decided on who would do them. She didn’t just walk into a shop and get a tattoo. Many I see they do look like they were done on impulse or by price. My daughter spent a lot of money on her tattoos. She has one that she didn’t think out as well. It is lettering and the message is fine but the quality of work isn’t great. It is also the one tat that wasn’t put exactly where she asked. If she has a scooped back and her hair up part of it is visible.
If your child is set on getting a tattoo have a rational discussion. In my opinion saying absolutely no way in my house is just going to make them sneak and have it done with just the opinions of their friends. Have them research places. Look at the books of the different artists. Make an informed decision not an impulsive one.
I think I judge piercings and Gage’s in ears more. </p>
<p>DH and I went to dinner last night with DS and his girlfriend (age 24). I was noticing the many tattoos on the people around us (tattoos are very common in Portland), and asked the GF if she has a tattoo. Yes, on her ankle. I’ve never noticed it. We went on to talk about Jill Abramson (late of the NYTimes) and her T(imes) tattoo–and she said “Oh, bad decision, you never get the tattoo until the experience is OVER.” (Emphasis hers.) Funny, my sister said much the same thing after her marriage broke up (after forty years): “at least I don’t have a tattoo of his name on my arm.”</p>
<p>I just heard that when Jill Abramson was asked if she regretted that tattoo, she said, “Not a chance!” See <a href=“Jill Abramson Speaks Out About New York Times Firing, Says She Won't Remove Times Tattoo | HuffPost Latest News”>HuffPost - Breaking News, U.S. and World News | HuffPost;
<p>True story: I had 2 patients sitting in waiting room. Both in late 60’s. The woman survived breast cancer and had a pink ribbon tattoo near wrist. It is her first, and she is very proud of surviving chemo & radiation. She loves her tattoo. He cannot tolerate ANY tattoo. He would never date “someone like her” and yet he cannot compare to her in what she has accomplished in her life and the love her family feels towards her. He is alone.</p>
<p>I’ve stopped judging. What matters is who the person is. </p>
<p>What is your point @bookworm? If he chooses to be alone rather than date someone with a tattoo, then his choice. </p>
<p>And how have you “stopped judging”? Sounds like you judge him pretty harshly.</p>
<p>Very late to the party. I don’t view getting a tattoo as evidence of a character flaw. But when I see someone whose entire arms, back, or chest is tatted up, I cringe inwardly, at least for a moment, especially when you can see that this person likely spends a lot of time in the gym and taking care of their body. It’s like putting graffiti on The David or Venus de Milo. You can hardly see the actual body under all the ink, and I think that’s a shame. A healthy human body is very attractive; why obliterate it with ink? I don’t get it. But it’s not really any of my business in the big scheme of things.</p>
<p>Harvestmoom,
I guess I did come across judgmental. I’d love to see this man get involved in community activities, courses, learn to use a computer, and find nice women to date. His hatred of tattoos is an obsession of his. This man will confront people with questions about why they disfigured himself. I know we judge people on first impressions, but usually we keep our thoughts to ourselves. I do heed your words, and will strive to be more tolerant.</p>
<p>So what bothers people more, tattoos, or wearing sweat pants to cover up some of the tattoos?:)</p>
<p>
Too true. I saw a guy who had an amazing body. Simply beautiful. Too bad you couldn’t see his impeccable front with all the poorly scrawled font and pictures scattered about his chest. :-< </p>
<p>I’l give him the BOTD, though. Consider it braille. Better to feel than to look at. :)</p>
<p>Someone like a David Beckham - I don’t care how well he’s built, I just find it disgusting. Or Adam Levine. </p>
<p>
Ya know, if I had only had your phone number I could have called you and asked what was the proper way to mourn my best friend.</p>
<p>This comment made me step back from this thread for a day, and it still galls me that someone on here would try and tell me how to grieve.</p>
<p>
Predict? Sure I can. Not with 100% certainty, but I am not afraid of the chance that I am wrong, nor do I think that you can predict it better than I can.</p>
<p>
That isn’t the way communication works. Ever overheard a phone call? Seen two people smile at each other? Sometimes you intercept messages meant for someone else, it doesn’t mean the message was meant for you. If I am outdoors working without my shirt on, I am not saying “READ MY TATTOOS AND GLORY IN THEIR MEANING!!”, I am saying “IT"S REALLY HOT OUT!!”.</p>
<p>
I don’t cover them out of fear of career damage, I do so as a matter of policy and because the clothes everyone wears around customers already cover my tattoos. For what it is worth, a few customers HAVE seen some of my tattoos (in the field or at social gatherings) and my career is still going just fine.</p>
<p>
Again, this got to me.</p>
<p>I saw “rash” and an immediate reaction. How could you possibly know how long someone spent considering whether or not to get a given tattoo? Sure, there are people who do it on a whim, just like there are people who get married on a whim, but I don’t assume that every couple I meet just got drunk in Vegas one night, so why would you automatically assume that a tattoo was a rash decision?</p>
<p>Then I realized - any amount of time spent in consideration would be rash to you, even if it was a whole lifetime, if the result of that consideration was the decision to get the tattoo, because in your mind there is only one right answer for ANYONE and it is YOUR answer. That is why it seems rash - surely anyone who spent some time thinking about it would come to your conclusion.</p>
<p>As for “immature”… maturity to me means working hard at my job, being a good husband, being a good father, being a good citizen, being a good friend, maintaining my house, and seeing to the health and well-being of everyone in it. If you think “not having tattoos” is a measurable part of that then you and I have a fundamental difference of opinion on what “maturity” means.</p>
<p>And “attention seeking”? Get over yourself. Not everything is about you. If I am singing to myself, I am not singing to you, and may not even be aware that you are hearing it. If you see my tattoos then you are also catching an accidental glimpse of something that was never intended for you.</p>
<p>
Gosh, you know, the judgments of the self-righteous never occurred to me. I guess I was too rash. I just didn’t imagine that there were people out there who render so much judgment on such a superficial characteristic and that I would ever be in a situation where either my professional competency wasn’t a thousand times more important or where I could not simply omit those people from my life.</p>
<p>
Why assume that everyone finds the same things attractive? The classic perceptions of physical beauty in the western world are quite rigid and unwavering and do not allow for self-expression. That is why we cover and alter and decorate that healthy human body with jewelry and clothing and makeup and, yes, tattoos.</p>
<p>You asked about my judgments about tattoos and I told you. And I’ve got news for you (and many, many posts from others in this thread confirm it) I’m not the only one who reaches a negative connotation about someone with tattoos. Somehow I just don’t believe that everyone who does this is self-righteous or unduly judgmental. Like I said, don’t care what you or anyone else does on their bodies, in their bedrooms, anywhere, anything, as long as it doesn’t hurt someone else, go ahead.</p>
<p>Just please don’t try to tell us that you don’t make judgments about people about how they choose to look externally. To act like you are somehow above human nature and don’t do what is impossible to not do is laughable. </p>
<p>I get that some people don’t like tattoos and even think they’re disgusting and “body marring”. Others feel the same way about gauges, or any piercings. But those are aesthetic opinions. Going the next step and essentially calling a person with a tattoo a fool is pretty extreme.</p>
<p>I don’t think anyone think no one judges. Of course we all do. We all rationalize and tell white lies too. But telling you that we don’t appreciate being called fools isn’t at all the same as saying we don’t judge. </p>
<p>I personally don’t like them. Nor do a lot of people. Something to keep in mind if you need something from people that may not like tattos. If you have them where they aren’t blazing out, that’s one thing, but if you are going to Tattoo your face, unless you are in a field, or are successful enough to literally fly in the face of what others who have things to give to you and have to power to make that decision, you’ve cut down your chances in getting some things, and made it harder. Worth it to you or doesn’t apply to you, that’s fine. But it’s not fine for a lot of people. </p>
<p>The ones in our family that have visible tattoos are the ones who can least afford any impediment in opportunities. And, yes, their piercing, hair styles and tattoos cost them. They are slowly getting it through their heads that this is happening. They thought it was just crazy Aunt Jane who’s so bigoted about so many things that would just not give because of tattoos. And, since Aunt Jane has truly gone crazy now, they’ll never likely see a dime from her while their cousins are making out. But that’s small peas compared to jobs lost. My one cousin was so upset that an ideal private nursing aid situation was terminated because those involved didn’t like her “sleeve”. She gets to see her friend benefit greatly from that position. Hurts.</p>
<p>I recently saw a hug ad in a mall for tattoo removal. Wave of the future, I’m guessing. But it’s a lot more expensive, painful and difficult to remover tattoos. Wish they would come up with some tattoos that are easier to remove. </p>
<p>
Well, I apparently make fewer such judgments than you do, and when I DO make such judgments I recognize that I am making an unfair assumption, and that it is a flaw in myself to do so. I am a flawed person, as are we all, but I* do not revel in it*, and do not try to justify treating people poorly. And I try when possible to stop from hurting others.</p>
<p>This is what astounds me. Absolutely I make judgments. But when I realize that I have done so, I stop and think about all the things I don’t know about that person, and ask myself why I must assume that my way MUST be the right way, or why I must assume something negative where there could be a positive. On this thread I see a lot of people not just saying “judging is human” but essentially saying “judging is good” and I do not see any evidence for that at all.</p>
<p>Judging is reality. It doesn’t matter if it’s good or bad. And some people cannot afford to take the risk. Often, they are also the ones who don’t know any better. But, that doesn’t sound like posters here. However, it is reality.</p>
<p>
Yes, it does matter. Judging people on a fraction of their whole and then taking some negative action based on that fraction hurts them and diminishes you, and that always matters.</p>