<p>Our school district doesn’t offer any drivers ed or training and since both are required to get a license before 18 we have no choice but to pay private companies. For drivers training they must have 3 two hour lessons and in fact they can’t even drive with a parent before their first lesson.</p>
<p>Oddly enough, my grandmother ended up teaching me to drive freeway. She’s a high strung old lady but she kept it together on the freeway a lot better than my parents did. I think she listened better and was better able to understand what I needed, she was less panicky than my parents.</p>
<p>I still distinctly remember being a MUCH better driver the first time I drove by myself after I got my license. I got my license over four years ago and to this day driving with my mom in the car makes me tense. If there’s anyone else that can teach her, they should. Even if you have to find a way to pony up for more private lessons. We did that, too. Cost a fortune but not nearly as much as an accident would have.</p>
<p>Our district offers a course which costs $400. S took it in his summer, but D seems to be hoping not to. </p>
<p>Don’t you wonder how people learned to drive when everyone had a stick shift? Does anyone even learn to drive a stick anymore? I learned in H’s old truck, but I was never any good at it and would stall the danged thing out every few blocks.</p>
<p>The first car I drove didn’t have power steering. After that, driving was much, much easier.</p>
<p>Parallel parking that first car without power steering was not pretty!</p>
<p>My daughter had to be at the barn at 7:30am on the weekends. That was the perfect time to drive on the freeways, no other cars.</p>
<p>I found having them drive me to all the stuff they go to was the easiest way to teach them to drive. They didn’t have to worry about directions. I find I’m not the best driver when I don’t know where I’m going and someone is yelling directions at me. (Which is why I look it up before I go…)</p>
<p>If you have a few years…I also found my horse back riding daughter was much better at traffic than my dancing daughter. In a ring with 16 other horses, you pay attention to the rest of the traffic. In a choreographed dance, not so much. Horse daughter already understood you might have to speed up or slow down to merge. She knew to look over her shoulder before changing lanes because in the ring there are also blind spots. And she knew to look ahead to see if you will need to slow or stop. So my advice, get them into horses.</p>
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<p>It can still be useful to know, in case you rent a car in some foreign countries, or if you want to save $1,000 buying an economy car or sports car.</p>
<p>However, it appears that some things commonly taught to new drivers are not optimal. For example, most car drivers seem to adjust the side mirrors to see the side of their own car, which uselessly duplicates the center mirror coverage and needlessly leaves large rear quarter blind spots that the side mirrors could be adjusted to cover.</p>
<p>Of course, those driving long vehicles, vehicles with trailers, and vehicles with no visibility through the center mirror need to use the side mirrors for this purpose, but such vehicles often come with multiple side mirrors to allow both that and minimization of rear quarter blind spots.</p>
<p><a href=“http://pages.cs.wisc.edu/~gdguo/driving/BlindSpot.htm[/url]”>http://pages.cs.wisc.edu/~gdguo/driving/BlindSpot.htm</a>
<a href=“http://www.wikihow.com/Set-Rearview-Mirrors-to-Eliminate-Blind-Spots[/url]”>http://www.wikihow.com/Set-Rearview-Mirrors-to-Eliminate-Blind-Spots</a>
<a href=“http://www.cartalk.com/content/features/mirrors/[/url]”>http://www.cartalk.com/content/features/mirrors/</a></p>
<p>Add me to the list of traumatized moms. I try so hard to not react, but she can tell by the gripping of the armrests and sighs that I’m having a rough time of it. The teens are now in their 20s, and I got through teaching the first two, with the help of driver’s ed. For my S, it was part of the school curriculum, and he and his peers learned at the same time. We practiced, and I don’t remember it being too bad. </p>
<p>Our local schools took driver’s training out of the curriculum, which was such a sad mistake, if part of the never ending search to cut the school budget. Attending a private driving school those years back, for my D, was $300 plus more for each behind the wheel session. Her twin was out of the country on exchange that year, and by the time she was home long enough to get the permit, practice, and take the test, she was 20. Senior year was too busy for classes two nights per week, so she never did go through the official instruction. I really feel her driving didn’t come together as it did for my other two, as she has never been around long enough to drive as much as would be helpful. I still try to have her drive with me when she’s home for a few weeks, though she dislikes it due to my sighs, gasps, and so on. </p>
<p>The other D is gradually learning stick, though living in a hilly area, and learning on her employer’s truck, does not help the confidence. </p>
<p>I started to learn stick in HS myself, in a hilly coastal California town. Dual control car, and it scared the instructor as well as me, as it seemed too much at age 16. A few years later, I practiced on a boyfriend’s truck to get my license, and then drove stick for years. Came in handy when renting a car in France last spring, as there is a hefty surcharge for automatics. </p>
<p>On freeway driving-there is a place in my town where you can get on in a lane that later exits. No merging needed, so a good way to practice getting up to speed, entering and exiting before tackling real freeway driving.</p>
<p>I couldn’t do it. Lucky for me my D decided driving wasn’t for her (after 3 hours of professional lessons). She now lives in NYC and has no use for knowing how to drive. Now that she’s 23 she might have an interest and with maturity I may not be quite as much of a basket case. (maybe)</p>
<p>If 40 hours gets a driver to their best driving ability, heaven help us! We have driver’s ed in the schools, but the kids get 30 minutes per session, and 6 hours total with the instructor (or something similar). Our state requires 50 hours of driving time before they can get their license. I think if the 40 hours is out on real streets with real traffic, then it might be true. We probably spent half that in neighborhoods and parking lots so I think it will take much longer to reach the goal driving ability for D.</p>
<p>Communication. This is our number one problem. I want H to teach driving…but… he is not one to anticipate. So D will ask “Do I need to get in the left turn lane?” and he will say "There are yellow lines! You can’t move over!!! Why are you saying that??? Oh. Now turn left at the intersection (the same one she was asking about). </p>
<p>He will also say “Pull out” when he means “inch forward”, and “Up ahead” instead of “after this major intersection, turn at the next street”. </p>
<p>I know I am a better teacher verbally, but physiologically, I can’t do it. Why oh why haven’t I invented the Parent Pedal yet?? It would enable us poor parents to have a passenger side brake like the driver’s ed teachers have. THEN, I could relax a little.</p>
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<p>One thing that a lot of drivers seem to get wrong about merging: try to match the speed of the traffic in the lane you are merging into. It seems that most drivers try to merge into 65mph freeway traffic at 45mph, as if they are afraid to press the accelerator more than a quarter of the way down.</p>
<p>Not that I’m great, but I attribute my ability and my success to survive teaching both children to drive to my occupation. I work in IT and do a lot of tech support!</p>
<p>I think the dual-control driver’s ed car is equivalent to the ability to see the end-user’s desktop - but at least they have free software for that!</p>
<p>“Just a Mom”- Could you explain a little more why your daughter gave up driving?
A friend’s 18 year old son has such anxiety issues he wants to give up driving which would be devastating for his life. He doesn’t want to take driving lessons,because he doesn’t want to be with a stranger in the car!!</p>
<p>Is there any relationship between driving and Aspergers ?
I have spent many hours trying to teach him to drive, and I relate to what all parents are saying in this thread.</p>
<p>SouthJerseyChessMom - my D simply felt (her words) “driving is not for me” - when we talked about it (and we still talk about it, 7 years later) she says she thinks there are too many cars on the roads (we live in So Cal, she’s right!), and that the cars are getting bigger and bigger (she’s right, have you seen some of those SUVs out there?) and that most people driving are distracted with cell phones (she’s right). I can’t argue the points. She recently told me she “might” want to get a driver’s license but that she’d never want to drive the freeways. She also said she has no “need” for a license (living in NYC) but thinks she probably should at least “know how to drive”. Then she reminded me that Barbara Walters doesn’t know how to drive, and she (BW) is a very accomplished person!</p>
<p>We have a couple of very close family friends who are disabled due to car accidents in their lives (a paraplegic and a quadriplegic), both of them drive (yes, with modified vehicles), and I’ve often wondered if knowing them has impacted her decision. They are both accomplished and very independent. </p>
<p>Personally I couldn’t care less if she drives or not. I wouldn’t call her decision life altering. She has no need for a driver’s license where she lives, nor a car. She would like to move to London. She would have no need there either (I have family there and none has a car). </p>
<p>What I would like to know from you is why you feel your friend’s son giving up driving would be ‘devastating for his life’?</p>
<p>well, if you definitely know you will spend your life in a large city and will never ever have to drive, I guess deferring or not getting your license is not a big deal. In most areas, though, not being able to drive means limiting your opportunities and being very dependent on the kindness of driving friends and family. I know, I’ve had a couple friends who never learned to drive. When our neighbor grocery shut down, they had to beg rides or take long inconvenient bus rides to get groceries.</p>
<p>I really think it is a life skill. Imagine an emergency—you’re driving in a rural area, the driver becomes ill–you’ve never driven. What now?</p>
<p>Many jobs require you being able to drive places.</p>
<p>It is limiting for most!</p>
<p>JustaMom-thank you for clarifying your daughter’s issues. I agree, for her, driving is unnecessary. </p>
<p>My friend’s son doesn’t live in an urban environment, and I doubt he ever will. As Paperplane, explained so well, he will be dependent on others, and this will cause him to become even more isolated than he is now. Even if there were jobs where he lives, how would he commute back and forth?</p>
<p>My daughter lives in Philly, and doesn’t have a car nor does she need one. So it depends on where someone lives if a license is needed.</p>
<p>SouthJerseyChessMom–hope your friend’s son is getting some help with his anxiety issues. Sounds like the bigger problem, rippling into many areas of his life. That must be rough.</p>
<p>But back on the original topic–to OP: I about freaked teaching my second kid to drive. First was fine. I really think the fact the teaching #2 happened right when perimenopause/sleeplessness/pms were at their worst did NOT help. But she learned and has her license. We got in a few arguments!</p>
<p>I haven’t driven in many years, though I do have a license. (I get to renew it by mail due to my spotless driving record!) In an emergency, I’m sure that I could. Once or twice a year something comes up where driving would be more convenient, but I’m out of practice, so I have to find another way to go. It would be nice to use a Zipcar on those occasions, but I haven’t thought that the time and money it would take to keep myself in practice are worth it for once or twice a year. And those special occasions are usually pretty demanding driving situations – renting a car at a small airport and driving through unfamiliar freeways.</p>
<p>If life brought me to Boulder or Chapel Hill or Ann Arbor one day, I would definitely get a car and pay someone to get me back up to speed (literally). In all likelihood, though, I’ll stay carless in Chicago or in SF, Boston, DC, or NY.</p>
<p>Everyone has a different idea of whether driving is a necessity or not. Me, if I had an opportunity to move someplace transit friendly, I would. I would love to not have to have a car.</p>
<p>Re highway driving: a couple of times, my D and I got up very early on a Saturday morning (5 a.m.) and went out on the Garden State Parkway to practice on- and offramps, accelerating to highway speed etc. before she went out on the highway during regular hours. This helps a lot.</p>
<p>Our school still has driver’s ed. It costs about $350, same as the private place. A lot of parents are opting for private though, as they schedule the driving more to one’s liking, rather than killing all of June with the school course.</p>
<p>Not only does our insurance not demand it; they do not discount if the course has been taken. I read some research showing driver’s ed completion does not reduce accidents. Nevertheless, it’s definitely one of those things I am happy to sub-contract!</p>
<p>In the early 80’s my dad got sick of me driving his 10 mpg LTD, stopped his '72 Vega on a hill and told me to learn to drive a stick. Not a loving moment, but I’m really glad I learned. 2 sons know how and D will too. H drives a stick F 150 every day.</p>
<p>I live in the rural midwest and it’s so difficult for me to imagine living where one doesn’t need a vehicle. It could be convenient and less costly for sure though.</p>