<p>Interesting thread… I’m glad to know that I am not the only parent absolutely terrified (loose paraphrase) nor am I the only one to grab the armrests or sigh… Thank you all for that, because I have felt very inadequate, just not up to the job of helping D acquire the license. And, my husband is physiologically more able to take her out, but his instructions are cryptic and unhelpful. We live in No. CA, but not SF… if she continues to live in the area, she will need to drive to have an independent life. And it will happen, eventually, despite my inadequacies.</p>
<p>Have had challenges teaching the kids to drive. I’m happy to say that my improved driving thru the patience of H helped save our marriage. It was a sticking point, as he IS a better driver than I. It was after I had been driving MUCH more than 40 hours by that point but my driving IS much improved and no longer scares me or any passengers. H is even becoming a better passenger, gradually. :)</p>
<p>S is a pretty good driver; D is not nearly as good tho she did steer canoes in the ocean & S just had videogames. Oh well, hopefully D will improve. She too lives in LA & hasn’t had much experience on those freeways either.</p>
<p>They both took driver’s ed at their local public HS. It was $10 for 30 hours of classroom & 6 hours of behind the wheel instruction. One of the best bargains in town! I wanted them to take it at the private HS but they refused. (It would have been $400 or more, I think.)</p>
<p>To this day, I don’t like driving in LA (rarely do it) & am not fond of driving in SF either. Both of my kids are very challenged figuring out how to get wherever they’re going, which adds more excitement to riding/driving with them. I’ve tried to get them to navigate me home or wherever we’re going when I drive but they refuse. Oh well, each has a GPS. 
D doesn’t have a car but is old enough to rent SmartCar by the hour/day as needed.</p>
<p>I’ve noticed this with both my kids–the GPS keeps them from learning their landmarks to navigate themselves around town. They just don’t pay as much attention to their surroundings. It’s like riding in the backseat, arriving at a destination and never really knowing how you got there.</p>
<p>I was interested in NJSue’s suggestion in post #59 to wake up at 5 a.m. to practice on-off ramps and higher speed driving. Fewer cars then.</p>
<p>Has anyone tried teaching highways late at night? While we Moms have compromised night vision (hormonal, relative to menopause I’m told), the kids are still sharp-visioned in the dark. My D just suggested that for us.</p>
<p>I am teaching my 25-y.o. D to drive this season, so am learning from all these posts. We’re at parking-lot stage and will move on to professional help when she’s ready. All KINDS of professional help :)</p>
<p>As for L.A., the last time traffic was light on the freeways was when O.J. Simpson’s white van went down the road with police following, right?</p>
<p>I paid for 6 hours driver’s ed but so far she only used 4 hours. At first, I was a bit panicky but D2 has been driving a lot and her driving seems to be better. I only let her drive the huge clunker where the brake is not as sensitive so she has to plan well when she has to break. It teaches her to be careful.
She has been driving on the freeway once or twice because I don’t trust the clunker, it could break down on me. I’m nervous to let her drive the new car because she likes speed.
My husband was great with D1 but not now. He is too busy and I have to help out.</p>
<p>For us, freeway driving was MUCH less nerve-wracking than navigating narrow roads with lots of parked cars between HS & home. I always felt she would hit a car on my side or one of the road signs–fortunately she didn’t. She is not great at seeing stop signs, especially in unfamiliar areas & actually did get a ticket for it when she & a friend were driving around at night. Neither D nor her friends drive very much or enjoy it. One of her friends hadn’t gotten her license at last report & is > 21 years. D just got it last Christmas because we thought it would be a good thing for her to have.</p>
<p>**HiMom *** Neither D nor her friends drive very much or enjoy it. One of her friends hadn’t gotten her license at last report & is > 21 years.*</p>
<p>I am wondering if my friend’s son is one of those kids who just doesn’t enjoy driving. Is it a matter of anxiety/ nervousness with your daughters and friends? All the 18 year olds I know couldn’t wait to drive. </p>
<p>** Paperplane ** yes, my friend’s son is addressing the anxiety issues, and you are correct it is effecting everything. </p>
<p>Also, for any parents teaching driving for the first time, search You Tube for parallel parking tips and you will find some great teaching clips for you, and your “new driver” …</p>
<p>My son had professional lessons, followed by a lot of practice with both me and my ex (back when I was still living in New Jersey and had a car). </p>
<p>Worst professional driving teacher ever for the first lesson: his first time ever behind the wheel of a car, he drives off with her, and later reports that within 5 minutes of teaching him how to turn on the ignition and reminding him which was the gas and which was the brake, she had him go onto a highway – Route 3, where if you’re in the right lane cars directly merge onto the highway from a standing position, much of the time without looking – and drive a couple of miles to the next exit. During which time she was talking to someone on a cell phone.</p>
<p>Needless to say, he panicked and thought he was going to have either a heart attack or a fatal accident. Needless to say, it was the last time we used that driving instructor or the school that sent her (which gave us a refund after many complaints and threats). What a nightmare.</p>
<p>And he hasn’t driven on a highway again in the 4 years or so since then. After that experience he never wanted to learn, and drives only on local roads. Fine with me! Of course, he has no need for a car in Chicago, or in Manhattan when he’s with me; he doesn’t even drive that much when he’s staying with my ex in New Jersey.</p>
<p>Kids these days are wimps when it comes to driving. D1 didn’t bother to get her license until she was 18. Back then D2 vowed she’d be different and get it as soon as she could. Wrong - she ended up not getting hers until she was 19. Back in the day I was down at the DMV passing the test the day after I turned 16.</p>
<p>Even though she had a license, D2 had never driven on a freeway until she was 20. Her breakthough came on the empty freeways of rural New Hampshire. She found out it was easy and thought she was ready to tackle southern California.</p>
<p>^Scipio- I agree it’s so much different now, but I wouldn’t call today’s teens wimps. Just saw NBC news segment last night about Teens and Driving-it’s scary, dangerous out there for them, more so than ever. We didn’t have cell phones back in the day.
Many teens deaths in auto accidents in our area, during day time, drugs/ alcohol , not involved. Reasons for kids to be concerned!</p>
<p>As a teen who is currently learning to drive (I have had a permit for about 3 months now), I hope you don’t mind if I give you my insight.</p>
<p>My parents are divorced and I live with my mother; however, my father has been the one teaching me. Prior to receiving my permit, I took 3 two-hour-long driving lessons. The other day, my mother made me drive while she supervised.</p>
<p>I much prefer driving with my dad. He is very calm and patient while my mother wouldn’t stop yelling at me every second.</p>
<p>My driving instructor was very calm and patient, like my father.</p>
<p>I think I learn better with someone who has patience and allows me to realize that I have made a mistake. What has helped me is that every time I make a mistake that I, myself, realize, I will comment on it. For instance, if a turn was too sharp, I will acknowledge it out loud which helps me remember to watch out for it in the future and shows my parents that I know what I’m doing.</p>
<p>As for the GPS debate, I prefer driving without it on because I would like to be able to know my surrounding area and perhaps come up with some shortcuts for routes I take which I cannot do with a GPS. I only use a GPS when going on a long trip to a relatively unknown area.</p>
<p>Several years ago we did an exchange in the UK for the summer where we switched jobs, houses, and cars with another family. I went out in the evenings to get the hang of driving on the “wrong” side of the road, shifting the car with the “wrong” hand, and especially navigating the roundabouts. It was helpful to do it at a time when there wasn’t as much traffic as during the day. Plus where we were, it stayed light really late, so I could still see fine!</p>
<p>My younger sister and I both waited to get our licenses at 18. We took drivers ed at 14.5 and got permits at 15 like everybody else but didn’t take the road test right away. My older sister didn’t get hers until she was married, her husband taught her-- probably sometime between the ages of 18 and 20. My younger sister has had hers for about six months now and I’m still not convinced she’s even ready in terms of maturity. She is appallingly overconfident.</p>
<p>I don’t know if “wimp” is the right word. It isn’t as though I wasn’t driving because I was scared. I waited because I could tell I wasn’t ready. Could I have pushed through and gotten the license at 16? Sure, I could have done it, I was a good enough driver. But emotionally and in terms of maturity, I was not ready. I don’t think there’s anything wimpy about admitting that and keeping a potentially dangerous driver off the road until they’re ready to be there.</p>
<p>SamuraiLandshark, not sure what part of LA you live in, but with all of the freeways, I would think an early morning practice session beginning no later than 8 am on a Saturday heading east should give you just enough traffic to learn on and not panic. I also like the suggestion that your child talk through all that he’s seeing. Good idea.</p>
<p>
Scipio, you’d have a good laugh with my friend from a small community. </p>
<p>He took his 16 y.o. to get his learner’s permit on the day of his 16th birthday and recognized his entire Lamaze Childbirth Training class there, all grown up with their parents once again biting their own fingernails and fretting.</p>
<p>You were passing the test on the day after your 16th birthday? Where/when/how did you practice?</p>
<p>In NJ all student drivers are required to do a 6 hour driving course before they get their permit . This story is probably why .</p>
<p>^
That’s what I did.</p>
<p>Well, the girl passed the driver’s license exam! I started doing the narrative on the way home with her and the “butt clench” expression did make her laugh.</p>
<p>Still a little wobbly, like all new drivers. I am going to check into one of the defensive driving classes that AAA offers. Even though she is licensed, I think it would be great to have one of these courses with road hazards and learn more before really spending a lot of time on the LA freeways! The first time I was on the freeway in my drivers training class, a box fell out of the truck in front of me and landed on my hood and bounced over the car. Freaked me out! (Probably why I am less calm than husband.) My driver’s instructor told me to drive through it and don’t panic. </p>
<p>I appreciate all of your wisdom and experiences. It made me a little calmer the next time I got in the car with her. I didn’t grip the armrest so hard this time, nor leave indentations of my fingernails. ;)</p>
<p>“You were passing the test on the day after your 16th birthday? Where/when/how did you practice?”</p>
<p>You could get your learner’s permit at 15, which I did. I had a whole year to practice.</p>
<p>My brother & SIL take the opposite tack & have their kids get their learner’s permit & DL ASAP so they can help get themselves & all their sibs from one place to the next since both parents work. Their kids consequently have learned to drive OK in HI because they got their licenses & regularly commuted to & from school 5 days/week plus some other errands for 2+ years before going off to college.</p>
<p>My kids were not in any hurry to get their licenses. S got his at age 20 & D got hers at age 21. S is the better driver of the two–he has a slightly better sense of direction & faster reflexes. D hasn’t really had that much experience to date.</p>