My D1 is very socially adept and always has a lot of friends. Her fifth grade teacher told me she was “above the fray” when it came to classroom drama. But even she got swiped a couple of times. She met a girl at camp summer before 6th grade and made friends, and that girl came to her school the next year. D was thrilled, and immediately included this girl in her friend group. They were good friends, until the next year when the newer girl got invited into the “popular” crowd. She dropped D1 like a hot potato. D was crushed – she didn’t mind if the other girl had more/new friends, but this girl wouldn’t give her the time of day. The other girl actually apologized later in high school. D1 never trusted her again, though.
D1 also had a group of three other friends in scouts she had been friends with since Kindergarten. When they were juniors in HS, D decided to have a murder mystery dinner party (the kind where there are 8 roles to play). She ended up inviting all friends from other areas of her life – a couple kids from our old neighborhood, and some from an EC she was involved with. She didn’t talk about it at school or post on FB or anything, but word got back to the group of 3 friends she had done a lot of stuff with that she had a get together and did not invite her, and they were livid. They made a “scrapbook” of photos of all their good times together and left it on our doorstep with a nasty note about how to treat friends. The great irony is that two of them were “besties” and did stuff all the time without the other two for many years, and sometimes prior to this party the threesome did stuff without my D (she would see postings on FB of their outings to movies and other places where they had not invited her). My D wasn’t bothered – but as soon as she had a party with other kids, they turned on her. One of the other girl’s moms even helped with the scrapbook and egged them on! (This mom is a close friend of mine, but it still burns me that she thinks this was okay behavior – we just don’t talk about it after an initial discussion, as we wouldn’t be friends any more if we did). They are all “friendly” now, but not friends.