Yes, D even roomed with some of her friends at the private U that several of them attended and their group was one of the most inclusive in their HS. They had unwritten rules as well, such as for major events (like proms), one had to invite only guests that got along with EVERYONE male and female that was in their group, so that if the couple needed some breathing room, everyone could chat with everyone. It kept things much more comfortable for everyone.
D’s group was also into bringing food and sharing with everyone, so they had a lot of folks who liked to visit their group since visits were delicious. D is so pleased that she has what she believes will be lifelong friends after such a bumpy time as a pre-teen and young teen.
I agree that middle school – really through 9th grade – was a tough time for friendships among girls. I don’t really have horror stories, but my daughter did what amounted to a complete replacement of her friendship circle around 7th grade. Fairly minor differences of opinion, mainly about boys and their importance in the world, and what was appropriate to do with them, caused some major rifts. By the middle of 11th grade, even though my daughter had left her original school by then, she had largely made up with the friends she had lost in 7th grade, while at the same time making at least one completely new friend that became her closest friend of all.
She was visiting a few weeks ago, with her boyfriend who was here on business. One day while the boyfriend was working the two of us had lunch with a woman whom she (and I) first met when they were in pre-school together for a year at 3 years old, then they were inseparable best-best friends from 1st grade - 6th grade, although by the end the relationship was so inbred and toxic that everyone agreed they had to be separated. They barely spoke for three years, then slowly reconciled, and in 12th grade actually published a zine together. They are – and always have been – totally different people, with barely anything in common. It doesn’t matter. They remain friends, and have learned how to appreciate and accommodate one another. It was a real treat to spend time with the two of them together.
I also found middle school to be harder for both of my girls. D2 decided to break away from her very popular/cool crowd because the girls started partying and being mean to other kids. D2 was rather nerdy. She liked to read and still liked some nickelodeon shows. She has reconnected with some of those old friends.
D is so pleased that she has what she believes will be lifelong friends after such a bumpy time as a pre-teen and young teen.