To those that keep insisting that this should have been some kind of “teachable moment,” do you truly believe that a young man in high school didn’t already know that his actions would cause discomfort, humiliation, embarrassment, etc. for this young lady? At that age, he really needed to be taught that his actions were wrong and not to be rationalized as “joking” or “playing around”? I’m not buying that.
I’ve seen kids from both sexes pull down another person’s shorts in public. The ONLY reason for doing that is to embarrass and humiliate that person. They KNOW their actions are intended to be a negative experience for the victim. They KNOW it’s not okay, or the person would not be embarrassed, humiliated, laughed at. Let’s not be naive about that.
We can debate all day about what the appropriate response of a victim to this kind of harassment should be, but I don’t understand how anyone could think a kid who has lived to high school age needs to be “taught” not to expose another student’s underwear.
To be honest , I don’t know whether to be surprised or angered by some of these responses. No one, male or female should be acting in a way to expose another person. No one knows what his motives were or how far it would’ve gone had she not stabbed him with scissors. By HS, it’s been made very clear what is inappropriate touching . My kids knew it in elementary school. This is not a prank, or a joke. It doesn’t matter if it happened once or repeatedly. He got what he deserved. I would hope that he learned a lesson, but sadly I’m not convinced, especially after the many responses on this thread excusing his behavior. I mean why would he believe he did anything wrong when grown adults don’t believe . I wish CC had a " wow" or " angry" emoji like FB. It would’ve gotten a workout on this thread.
What is being taught is empathy, @nrdsb4. And there is a fair amount of evidence that empathy and compassion can be taught, particularly to the young. I’ve seen it work in our school, and educational experts seem to support it, largely. Did anyone look up the school in question? A title 1 school, failing academics and a gang problem so bad that any article of clothing the color red is forbidden. Yes, I think excellent parenting and education might negate the need for such instruction in high school, but not everyone has the perfect parents that CC seems to have.
We don’t have to quibble over terminology. What he did was sexual battery, a felony, and that’s what he was charged with.
On the remote chance this goes to trial, he’ll likely be acquitted. Not because he’s innocent but because there will be jury members who can’t fathom why “boys being boys” is a big deal.
You don’t get it at all, carolinamom. The schools are trying to teach empathy to the perpetrators for their victims. As in, “put yourself in her position. How would you have reacted or felt? Would you be mad if someone did that to your girlfriend? If so, do you understand why it was so wrong? could you talk someone else out of doing it in the future, or intercede?” Of course the perpetrators know objectively it is wrong, the deficit is in lacking compassion for a victim. In our school, the girls got together to discuss the issues, appointed a spokesman, and then led co-ed groups in brainstorming ways to address it. Gave the girls a sense of agency, raised empathy in some boys, and decreased the incidence of harassment substantially. But that approach would be entirely too calm and measured for CC.
No if the juvenile court lets him off the hook would be because they determined he was harassing or bullying which may not be a juvenile crime in that state and not assaulting which was the charge. We can’t speculate about what happened because we have no detail. We can’t speculate if she was repeatedly harassed by this kid or what led to her seemingly disproportionate response and the inherent charge she received. I don’t think either will entirely be let off the hook, but who knows and it is juvenile court.
I wonder if bystander training would also help, especially bystander training for boys. Some boys might be uncomfortable with the macho idea that it’s OK to harass girls, but not feel like they can speak up. Nudging just one or two boys brave enough to say, “Hey man that’s not cool,” could make a big difference.
If someone doesn’t have the ability to feel empathy by the high school years, I’m not optimistic that teachers/administrators are going to be able to instill it. I’m not a psychologist, but I know that most of the literature I’ve read about teaching empathy is focused on the very very young.
I think @Cardinal Fang’s idea above is more realistic.
It helped in our school that boys as well as girls took ownership of the proposed solutions. They felt they had input, and there was buy-in to the program.
Looks like bullying to me, which happened to take the form of sexual assault/harassment/battery or whatever you want to call it. But it’s still bullying, and it’s about power. And schools are notoriously incapably of stopping it by top down actions. I’m all in favor of counseling the offenders and trying to teach them empathy, but sometimes the victim just has to punch the bully in the nose. Or scratch him with scissors. Then they both get in trouble for fighting, but the bully finds someone else to pick on next time.
If the girls got together and came up with a plan to teach the boys about empathy, how were the boys taking ownership? As usual, it sounds like the girls were left with the responsibility to take charge, because those who should have done so didn’t do their jobs - not the parents, and not the school in their place. Girls should not be held responsible for the behavior of boys, nor should they be responsible for teaching the boys anything.
Getting buy-in by the most influential boys isn’t easy, but when it occurs it can be enough to change the school culture. When the captain of the basketball team ( or the class president or whoever) changes his attitude toward things, it can really make a difference. It also helps if they think it is their own idea, which seems to be frequently the case with teens.
I know they try sort of similar things at the high school where I work. What happens is those who already knew right from wrong (or had empathy) could identify with it and had no problems whatsoever and those who “needed” the lesson(s) had fun joking about it and mocking it later.
Life lessons are far better taught on the spot based upon real circumstances someone encounters and by folks the kids like/trust than any sort of planned group activity. At least at the high school level, that’s what I see IRL.
Bystander training definitely helps - BK’s anti-bullying video that went viral at some point this past year got through to our kids, but even just sharing with them the Asch Conformity findings is very worthwhile.
The girls suggested the approach we used, as they wanted some control, not yet another middle aged teacher leading the discussion about behavior. Some young women want a sense of agency, and have great ideas, and are eager to lead these discussions. Boys participated in brainstorming solutions; some of their suggestions were adopted, so they felt heard and included. It worked for us, far better than another adult with another lecture would have. YMMV, of course.
So in Tennessee, touching the clothing directly covering “intimate parts” of the body, which include the buttocks, is the crime of sexual battery (often called sexual assault in other jurisdictions). If the young woman was wearing thong underwear, her skirt would have been the clothing directly covering her buttocks, and lifting that skirt would have been sexual battery (again, a crime often called sexual assault in other jurisdictions).
@roycroftmom no ma’am you don’t get it. I understand the definition of empathy, you don’t need to educate me. Most teenage students are aware enough to know what is appropriate and what isn’t . They don’t need to be instructed to put themselves in someone else’s shoes, because they already know . One doesn’t need to experience or imagine something to know that it is wrong. I stand by my original assertion that sexual assault doesn’t warrant empathy. Please don’t mistake my lack of agreement with your opinion on the matter as lack of knowledge.
My point being that if they don’t have empathy by HS regarding inappropriate behavior the likelihood that they will grasp the concept and change their behavior is remote at best @Nrdsb4