<p>My Mom doesnt allow my girlfriend and i (together for over a year) to be home alone, even in the middle of the day, for any period of time. We’re both finishing junior year. I realize where she is coming from and don’t need a lecture on why she has this rule, i simply wanted to know if this is pretty standard or not. What are your rules?</p>
<p>Junior in high school, or junior in college?</p>
<p>Our standard rule is that there are no guests allowed in our house unless my husband and I are home. Period.</p>
<p>Now, that being said, I personally would not object to my junior in college D having her boyfriend in our house when we were not home…but that’s just because we REALLY trust him. However, I don’t think HE would feel comfortable with it, and so probably wouldn’t do it. He’d probably suggest they go to the park or something until we get home.</p>
<p>But in high school, no way.</p>
<p>Sounds reasonable to me! Can you, say, go to a movie, swimming, mini putt, library, or out hiking or picnicking with other friends during the day? That would be more fun anyway than being alone at home with nothing to do. Unless you plan to do what your mom fears to happen if you are left alone at home! ;)</p>
<p>Home alone? Teenage boyfriend/girlfriend? No way.</p>
<p>I feel the same. Hormones can be a tricky thing at this age and why risk any issues? I wouldn’t want my dd14 at a boys house alone. No way, no how. It’s tough to understand now. But trust us, it will be crystal clear 25-30 years from now.</p>
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<p>What age do hormones stop being tricky? 15, 30, 40, 50 the same thing is gonna happen.</p>
<p>In high school? Opposite sex guests, boyfiend or just friend, are not allowed in the house unless a parent is home and awake. </p>
<p>Once past freshman year in college (and presumably out of the teens), I have no rules about opposite sex guests. In fact, since at that point the kids are adults, should an overnight guest be an issue, I will ask my child what kind of sleeping arrangements she would like set up.</p>
<p>Your mom doesn’t want you two having sex in her house and she worries that you will if she isn’t at home. If you understand this then you should understand her motives, and thus understand her rule. </p>
<p>As for standard, I don’t really know. It’s going to depend on a lot of elements of the family. However it’s the rule in your house and nothing someone on the internet you and your mom have never met isn’t going to change that.</p>
<p>Sorghum, there IS a difference in maturity between a junior in high school and a 30 year old. Just saying.</p>
<p>It’s been our rule too. Cute story of how ingrained it is in my D. She just came home from freshman year of college. I arrived home about 30 minutes late one day to find D and BF on the front porch. They were waiting for me so they could go inside and watch a movie.<br>
Since she hasn’t asked to change the rule, I didn’t volunteer to.</p>
<p>I don’t think it’s an unusual rule.</p>
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<p>Sure, but the ability to handle the consequences varies greatly with age and maturity.</p>
<p>We didn’t allow our kids, while in high school, to have people over when we weren’t home, didn’t matter if it was opposite sex or not.</p>
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<p>I believe it is standard. We have the same rule in our home.</p>
<p>People who don’t have this rule are not better or worse parents, but they do tend to become grandparents sooner than some. ;)</p>
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<p>Same here.</p>
<p>I get it. While I never had this rule, I get why people would. </p>
<p>If you want to hang out and you can’t at home, go to a park or something. Or her house?</p>
<p>Fwiw, I think this rule is pretty standard- though I don’t recall it being an issue with any of my friends once we learned to drive. I remember being at my guy friends’ houses while their parents were at work and it was never something that was even talked about. Meh.</p>
<p>First, I really appreciate your mother having this rule. We didn’t allow guests in the house without us home when the kids were in high school. Kept them from having to supervise their own friends Its very standard around here</p>
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<p>I think there’s a difference between not forbidding something, and outright encouraging it. I would not tell my high-school-aged child that yes, it’s a wonderful idea for you to be having sex; here, take my house and go crazy.</p>
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<p>Not all of us object.</p>
<p>We were 17 once, too. And some of us had sex at 17. But not all of those who had sex at 17 really wanted to.</p>
<p>Sometimes, people this age may feel pressured to have sex even though they don’t feel ready. Perhaps one partner is more eager than the other. Or perhaps both young people feel pressure from society to have sex after they have been dating for a while, but they aren’t entirely comfortable with the idea.</p>
<p>In these situations, a parent who doesn’t allow the young couple to be alone in the house is doing the young people a favor. At 17, it can be hard to say no. A few years later, it becomes easier.</p>
<p>Believe it or not, urges can be controlled. I think it’s ok to make that the stated expectation, and not to intentionally place your kids in situations where they’ll be unreasonably overly tempted. The consequences can be pretty bad (STDs, pregnancy, ruined reputation, regrets, etc.). Some kids choose to abstain on their own for various reasons. I support that decision. And we talk about activity in our house openly. The topic has NEVER been taboo in our house, and not much shocks us. I know not everyone is going to understand that way of thinking or living. I’m cool with that too.</p>
<p>It’s very hard to make sure no one is in my house who shouldn’t be. I am at work all day and the kids are home now because it’s summer. My daughter’s boyfriend lives with just his mom and sister, and the mom works weird shifts so I am sure there are times they are unattended there too.</p>
<p>I guess my feeling is if kids want to do something, they will find a way. If we have taught them responsibility and they are in mature-enough relationships, they should be OK. Or so I hope.</p>