If more folks could get along I wouldn’t worry so much about the future of our country every time I go to Gettysburg (which is way too often - was there today for example).
It’s one thing to disagree and debate reasons for different views, often acknowledging that not much is clear cut (though other things should be like being against racism and prejudice). It’s another to fight about it. Then it’s another thing to fight about it within families.
I wish everyone a peaceful set of Holidays.
Of course it is. You know and have been very open about your difficulties. It is truly heartbreaking. I wish you, as always, the very best, and hope that your in laws will learn from the gift of you in their lives.
I read a fascinating study the other day that for the vast majority of people, with respect to actual issues, there is very little difference between the “sides.” The impact of who each side chooses to identify with is much greater.
:)>-
Our politically diverse family will probably discuss: Wedding and honeymoon pictures, Spring travel plans, Grandmother’s health and care plan, Post doctoral research plans, Med school decision process, Navy vs. Great Northern beans, Spice levels for Cajun food, Veterinary care for horses, Steam trains, and Dog-friendly hotels. We’ll enjoy each other’s company as we usually do.
This is all very interesting. Our family has always talked politics along with other topics. People are well read and I think everyone has an open mind about tolerating the others point of view. I know I do. But then my cousin (you know the one. The one who posts the crazy conspiracy theories on Facebook) she lives too far away to come. We have relatives who are elected officials and ones who have worked for Congresspeople. They usually have a very interesting view point and I like to hear what they say. Of course the ones who have worked in government seem to be more grounded than the aforementioned crazy cousin.
I have a friend who has a very different viewpoint than I and posts all these extreme political posts on Facebook, mostly to argue with her siblings. A friend and I pointed out that everyone can see what you post and the fights you get into on Facebook. She recently has been posting positive thoughts and pretty pictures of nature. 
So my view. Political discussion that is civil, great. People who believe Russian bot posts, crazy! Fortunately the people in my family don’t espouse the Russian bot theories.
I don’t ever remember discussing politics at a family Thanksgiving. We are too busy arguing about who will inherit the silver. (It’s MINE!)
Zoosermom, IIRC, is a huge potato fan, and her mashed potatoes are not to be missed! (I think the recipe is in an ancient TG thread).
@deb922 I think you are in an unusual family. Maybe getting along is in your DNA, lucky girl. I guess statistically some families will all agree. As for crazy FB posts, it’s a good thing there is a way to snooze people. I snooze some of them all the time…I also discovered that you can do this on CC. Added someone yesterday. Great. Who needs negativity?
There is a difference between opinions and beliefs. One can reasonably argue about the best way to improve the economy for most citizens in a reasonable way (at least with most people). But other issues can’t be argued that way (hard to be specific without violating the TOS), because the position is based on beliefs or worldview, not solely on facts.
Like doschicos I believe in science and facts (but also have political opinions on things that can’t be argued that way). There are those on both sides of some issues that refuse to believe in scientifically verified facts. When I hear people repeating inaccuracies or alternate facts, I find it hard not to try and explain, but it is usually a lost cause. I have given up in the office, as there is no hope. I recently had a great discussion with a middle school family member while hiking who had ventured into some alternate fact websites and was spouting arguments for why the earth might be flat. We were able to refute many of his “facts” and in the end he was at least 90% convinced.
I believe, however, that there should be political discussion at the family table, as I think kids need to be taught how important it is to think about and form opinions on politics. I disagree with those who say these things do not impact our lives - that may be true for a lucky few, but for many people laws and regulations have a direct impact on their lives and livelihoods.
Of course there has to be a line. At our table we tend all be on the same side although some are more extreme than others. And there is one person who does not feel/think the same way. When that family is present, we tend to not discuss the issues all at once, but off to the side. I have shut things down when it is my table, either when the extremists are too loud or when it just gets boring to go over and over the same things, even when we agree.
“I believe, however, that there should be political discussion at the family table, as I think kids need to be taught how important it is to think about and form opinions on politics”
I grew up in a family where politics and world events were routinely discussed. I brought my kids up the same way. I think it helps raise young people who are politically aware, articulate, and good debaters. Dinners in my extended family are always quite live (even when we agree for the most part) and tend to linger on. All the younger adults in the extended family love engaging in the dialogue and we’re enjoying this stage where they are active and knowledgable contributors. They often enlighten us OFs. I wouldn’t want it any other way.
I agree with this. My dad was a union president so politics have been a part of my life and dinners for as long as I can remember. My sister and I both went on to be very heavily involved in debate clubs and I don’t think that’s a coincidence.
With that said, I think it’s also important to teach people about when it’s fruitful to debate and when it’s not. I think it’s important to teach others how to take care of themselves, and that often includes not being around people whose views, votes, and rhetoric are antithetical to your core beliefs. For example, I cannot and will not tolerate people who believe that PoC or women (for an extreme example) are inferior humans. To me, there’s really just no reasoning with people who firmly believe in biological racism and/or sexism. So I divorce myself from those “debates” and people.
^^ As long as H is onboard with staying away from his family during the holidays (and from the sounds of it, all other times) then there’s no problem. A ‘divorce’ from that side of the family is an agreed upon action. If H feels differently I’d question the wisdom of a ‘choose me over them’ approach.