<p>BlackTie- I have had the identical conversation that your D had and the first time it happened I was really confused. People have also made the following false assumptions: I am Japanese, I understand Japanese, I know how to cook Asian foods and do, I can teach calligraphy, I have an Asian accent, my kid is an Asian kid they know, I work in a Chinese restaurant, etc. Someone may think I’m a pushy parent because of my race as well. Who knows? Generally, I let it slide.</p>
<p>“Prostrate yourself now, Zoosermom. Perhaps offer to cut out your own tongue…”</p>
<p>I wonder if I could use my daughter’s fencing sword? How do you think that would work? People here are unbelievable. Twisting words, making up things and having virtual temper tantrums because they don’t like a thread. I do begin to wonder if for some reason the incident hit close to home.</p>
<p>Oh and don’t forget attacking my kid. The personal attack on her was quite a high point, don’t you think?</p>
<p>When I was a college student I spent a summer in Ireland. At that point I knew nothing of the specifics of my family history. Initially I would answer – “Irish” which caused confusion because my accent was most definitely East Coast American. I quickly learned to say — I’m American of Irish descent. As I had very red hair (not anymore – wish it was!) and freckles I was told on more than one occasion that - “You look more Irish than the Irish.” </p>
<p>All of my 4 grandparents were born in New York and 7 of my 8 great-grandparents were also born in New York. My great-great grandparents for the most part came from Ireland in the 1840s and 1850s except one family that I can trace through Quebec that came from Northern Ireland in the 1820s. I don’t know the reasons of why they came but my guess is to escape Religious persecution in Northern Ireland and those who came later during The Great Hunger (previously known as the Potato Famine) possibly came to simply stay alive. I’m consider myself no more or less American than a good friend/co-worker of mine from came from Algeria about 10 years ago and passed the citizenship test. We all helped him study for the test!</p>
<p>Our diverse ethnic populations are a big part of what makes us uniquely American. Thankfully America is so much more than baseball and apple-pie! I’m not much of a sports fan so please sign me up for some good Thai Curry, Vietnamese Noodle Soup, Indian Foods and then maybe if I have room some apple pie for dessert! </p>
<p>Ok…I really must stop this endless rambling and get to a point!! We are all diverse in so many ways but very much alike in our hopes and dreams for our children. Aside from the stereotyping (which has been made abundantly clear by the OP that no meanness was intended) in the original story here’s another spin –aren’t we all thrilled that there are American parents busy trying to enroll their children in advanced Math classes? How wonderful that there was a great rush to learn calculus! As a nation we are falling behind in expertise in science and math! So…whoever these children are…let’s keep the push to improve in math and science moving forward! </p>
<p>PS – Forgive my long postings. I’ve never been much of a participant in forums before but I found this topic quite interesting especially since it caused such a different mix of reactions. Also, my screen name was selected when I was looking for advice for my daughter with regards to college choices in 2006. Now I’m looking for similar ideas for my second daughter.</p>
<p>Oh yeah, as if everyone here who didn’t like the anecdote and expresses that sentiment is somehow out to get the OP! Yeah, the incident described hits completely close to home, because my parents would definitely have been one of those people trying to sign me up for as many SAT prep courses as possible as a kid. While at the time I would have rolled my eyes with exasperation a how thoroughly uncool they were, I admire now how consistently they were willing to go above and beyond to instill within me work ethic and a love of learning. </p>
<p>I haven’t read through the 23 pages of responses, but if you’re going to start a thread, don’t call people “unbelievable” if they disagree with you. I mean, all some of us did was offer our own initial interpretations of the anecdote. What is with this “if you don’t like it and agree, don’t post and leave the thread” mentality? Do you seriously want threads with 100 responses that are all the same: “Hahaha… how delightfully amusing! Congratulations on posting such a humorous anecdote. I agree completely”? People are going to be coming from different perspectives and backgrounds. You’ll get some people who find it funny and some who criticize. If you can’t deal with disagreement, then don’t start threads. Learn to live with it. It comes with the territory.</p>
<p>Let everyone have their say.</p>
<p>"Oh yeah, as if everyone here who didn’t like the anecdote and expresses that sentiment is somehow out to get the OP! "</p>
<p>I wasn’t talking about you. I was talking about the posters (read the thread) who lied about what I had posted, twisted my words and intentions, and dragged up a problem my daughter had months ago to attack me with. That behavior is unacceptable. THere is no “if you don’t like it don’t post” there is frustration with extremely vicious behavior.</p>
<p>Wraider2006:</p>
<p>“While at the time I would have rolled my eyes with exasperation a how thoroughly uncool they were, I admire now how consistently they were willing to go above and beyond to instill within me work ethic and a love of learning.”</p>
<p>I can relate to this…I remember rolling my eyes at my parents especially my father who was a college professor (graduate level Math) and also instilled in us a love of learning and a strong work ethic. He died in 1980 when I was 20 and if he were living he would be very happy to hear all of us say — OK you were right after all!! Oddly my children don’t roll their eyes at us and have always been very happy work hard in order to excel academically. (I suppose it may have something to do with the fact that I went to high school in the 1970s – strange years they were!!)</p>
<p>Also – yes — I agree – Let everyone have their say!!</p>
<p>It is not possible to have “no ethnicity”.</p>
<p>"It is not possible to have “no ethnicity”.</p>
<p>Read further and you will see what I mean.</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>sounds intriguing, I will check it out, thanks.</p>
<p>Zoosermom : I was at Walmart yesterday, and the lines are long at check out. When a new line opened there was a rush to it (including yours truly of course) and I thought of the op, lol.</p>
<p>Zoosermom – I would have to agree with you that the poster who made the twisted pretzel brain comments was not contributing to the spirit of the an open forum of discussion. Many other posters were, of course, just sharing different perspectives.</p>
<p>“Zoosermom : I was at Walmart yesterday, and the lines are long at check out. When a new line opened there was a rush to it (including yours truly of course) and I thought of the op, lol.”</p>
<p>But was it funny? </p>
<p>Seriously, though, isn’t it at least somewhat amusing to see grown peope running in the ordinary course of business? I guess it’s that it is out of the ordinary that makes it funny.</p>
<p>“I would have to agree with you that the poster who made the twisted pretzel brain comments was not contributing to the spirit of the an open forum of discussion. Many other posters were, of course, just sharing different perspectives.”
Agree completely and have enjoyed and learned from that – even had a meeting of the minds with someone where we agreed to disagree. As I posted repeatedly. It’s not the disagreement I have a problem with, it’s the behavior of a few posters. I have learned a lot from this thread and enjoyed some humor and warmth and been chastened in a few places. That’s all good. I just dont’ think it’s ok to pull a problem of my kid from another thread months ago and throw it in my face now to teach me a lesson.</p>
<p>Zoosermom:</p>
<p>“I just dont’ think it’s ok to pull a problem of my kid from another thread months ago and throw it in my face now to teach me a lesson.”</p>
<p>Agreed – this is not an ok way to communicate and adds nothing but confrontation to an otherwise interesting subject.</p>
<p>I repeat. I find the lines offensive in the initial post: “It got even funnier when several kids were turned away because the parents were trying to sneak in middle school students to register for a program by invitation only for high school students. They were all Asian too.” There is nothing funny about the foolish behavior of these parents if they indeed were trying to do something sneaky. It is outrageous to think that is a stereotype behavior of Asian-American parents and find it even “funnier”.</p>
<p>It’s outrageous to lie and twist someone’s words and attack their child. </p>
<p>But your justification in post 354 makes it very clear why you were upset padad. Hit too close to home. Rather than give some thought, you chose to attack. Ultimately, there is no excuse for what you did and everyone can see that.</p>
<p>Ilsa </p>
<pre><code>Did you ever see “My Big Fat Greek Wedding” ?
It doesn’t matter if any one was Greek. It doesn’t
if any one is Asian. The funny part is the parents
milling around nonchalant and then running for the door.
</code></pre>
<p>^True. I think it woulda been a great story w/o the words “Asian” or “stereotype” in the title.</p>
<p>“^True. I think it woulda been a great story w/o the words “Asian” or “stereotype” in the title.”</p>
<p>Which is exactly why I posted last night in response to Bullwinkle that upon reflection, that was a mistake I had made and would have done differently.</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>This is an astute point. I think people need to keep in mind that Asians make up only 4% of the U.S. population, so it is inevitable that there are non-Asian Americans who have rarely or never known an Asian person in their lifetime. Ignorant comments in places like S.F. would be inexcusable, but in other places like Iowa or maybe even Georgia, it might be more understandable. People often rely on stereotypes as a way to predict experiences and not for evil motives. Also, if you are Asian and do speak with an accent, it would be reasonable for others to presume that you were not born and raised here and may not be an American citizen. </p>
<p>There is no doubt in my mind that if I had been born and lived in Japan, I would spend my life answering the question “Where are you from?”</p>
<p>I agree with garland.</p>
<p>I do understand padad’s feelings however.</p>
<p>Zoosermom, I don’t think you understand how deeply your post may have hurt some feelings. As one poster said she would have viewed any Jewish stereotypes as anti-semitic. Same with some Asians. You may not have encountered any racial discrimination but others who have,may see it with a different perspective.And I do find your title offensive, especially in the post when emphasize "Asian"behavior and “non-Asian” behavior.</p>