<p>Alumother, I really do understand that. But this did happen and it was funny. For what it’s worth, many of the people there were laughing as hard as I when they started running. There was nothing mean-spirited about my observation and I didn’t see it necessarily as a negative thing, just as I don’t take exception to the people at the after-Christmas sale at Fortunoff! What’s the expression? You gotta get yours? That was it. Except for the people with 7th graders. That wasn’t cute.</p>
<p>I have always wondered why my hard-working, high-achieving, goal-oriented daughter with the genius-level intelligence, scholarly demeanor, burning ambition, and rock-solid work ethic loves math and science so much. Now I know! All these years, I thought my daughter was ethnically German, Polish, Russian, Scottish, and Mohawk, but I was wrong. She’s Asian!</p>
<p>"work ethic loves math and science so much. "</p>
<p>Ah. See, here’s the thing. It wasn’t the kids choosing Math. It was the parents.</p>
<p>eh not funny either :P</p>
<p>Y’know, Z-mom, just when I think I am going to stop checking in on CC I read an entry like yours and know that I will never quit.</p>
<p>Great visual, I am still giggling here at my computer!</p>
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<p>How many times have we had similar discussions on CC? </p>
<p>The point about attitudes being a reflection of cultural differences is well taken. However, I believe that many of the anecdotes that form the “stereotypes” go a tad beyond the “understandable” and excusable. </p>
<p>Observers DO have the right to judge pushiness and disregard for others (who are merely trying to accomplish the same) as poor behavior … or even comical. When Westerners travel to the Far East, they are reminded how easily they can offend locals with misplaced gestures or attitudes. </p>
<p>Is racing across a yard to get a better spot in the waiting line the norm in Asian countries? Is lying about age and qualification another one? What ever happened to respectful behavior?</p>
<p>What amazes me is the great length some are prepared to take to explain the rude behavior, attitudes, and service at Asian restaurants, donuts shops, tailor shops, and dry cleaning businesses. Whoops, that is also a darn stereotype!</p>
<p>I am kind of new to this forum but I do wish to know something. I am not judging any group. Zoosermom, just wished to clarify a few things: when you said that the parents sneaked in 7th graders, did they actively lie about their children’s age/grade level or were they taking a chance to see if they can get their children in despite the fact that they were in middle school? Also, how would you know that it was the parents choosing for their children? Was it that obvious or are you assuming things just because they are Asian?</p>
<p>Just imagine if you will, that it’s 1870 and this comment was made about a group of Irish parents. Or Italian parents. </p>
<p>Imagine it’s a joke about Texans - you probably don’t care, since it is unlikely you have ever suffered or been disadvantaged in opportunity due to being Texan.</p>
<p>Racism is racism. Whether we like it or not. If the comment had been just to describe the scene, WITHOUT commenting on the race of the participants, I too might have laughed.</p>
<p>To me it’s our responsibility to watch what we say, or the stereotyping will continue past the day when cultural differences cause the “comical” behaviors.</p>
<p>If you want to get dramatic, imagine if you came from a country where until 30 years ago poverty was considered honorable and the only way to get out was to test into a government position. Is the behavior caused by that kind of history funny? Is it?</p>
<p>Again, Zoosermom is very nice. But it’s worth remembering. </p>
<p>I am a WASP. I hate WASP jokes. I am blond. I don’t much like blond jokes either. Maybe they are innocent. But maybe the time I spent in corporate America in the 1980’s makes me flinch at the jokes because they are vestiges of thinking that caused me distress. Just think about it a little guys.</p>
<p>“Also, how would you know that it was the parents choosing for their children? Was it that obvious or are you assuming things just because they are Asian.”</p>
<p>We were on line for a looong time and heard the conversations around us. As far as age, the plan for the two that I saw was that the parents were trying to explain that the rules shouldn’t apply to their kids because they are so smart. THat was the small minority, though. The entire rest of the group was fully qualified.</p>
<p>“If you want to get dramatic, imagine if you came from a country where until 30 years ago poverty was considered honorable and the only way to get out was to test into a government position. Is the behavior caused by that kind of history funny? Is it?”</p>
<p>I’m sorry that you were offended, but I think you are overly sensitive. The other point of the thread is that this behavior is NOT as common in real life as the posters here on CC would have you believe. Did you miss that part?</p>
<p>slightly offended =[</p>
<p>It’s possible that I am overly sensitive. Remember, however, that I am not even Asian. BTW, I am almost 100% certain that you don’t mean Asian, you mean Chinese ethnicity. Or perhaps some of Indian ethnicity. How many of the people saying “Yeah this is fine”, are in fact of Chinese ethnicity. Or Indian. Or from the Phillipines or Laos or on and on and on.</p>
<p>i’m chinese</p>
<p>My reaction to reading the OP was, “How are the Asians feeling and what are they thinking, as they read this?”</p>
<p>Maybe some reading will tell us if they find this racist or humorous.</p>
<p>hi all,</p>
<p>I am Indian. Anyway, I think there is a basic misunderstanding here about Asian attitudes. I posting this again because my earlier post did not take. </p>
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<li><p>For many Asians, school is for studying Math and Science. ECs and other activities are to be done at their own time and not during school time. It is unfortunate that many in the mainstream do not have a clue about the cultural and sports programs that happen within our ethnic groups. These kids are amazing in drama, music, dance, sports, art competitions and other activities that happen within our places of worship or cultural centers. Unfortunately, many Asian children do not emphasize this when they talk to the outside world or in their college admissions. </p></li>
<li><p>Many Asians feel that art, music, drama and such can be learned at any age. You can be a Picasso at 60. Trying to get a medical degree at that age is not so easy. One of the reasons for pushing children into the sciences when they are young. </p></li>
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<p>These are some reasons for the Asian parents’ actions.</p>
<p>I don’t think you need to spend much time on these forums to realize that there is a great deal of truth to the stereotype of the intense Asian parent pushing the kid into math and science. If you live in an area with a lot of Asian students, it’s pretty obvious, too. I don’t think it’s an insult to all Asians, because the non-intense Asians aren’t running to the front of the line. It think what makes zm’s story amusing is the overt manifestation of the stereotypical behavior.
Edited: I cross-posted with dosamom. I’m not sure that there is a misunderstanding about Asian attitudes, as much as a disagreement with that attitude. To many of us, the idea of making a potential Picasso go to medical school is really sad.</p>
<p>Well I am Chinese and I do find the original post amusing, because it is a scene that one really may witness, but at the same time, I feel slightly offended. I think that all of us just do not fully understand other people’s values and cultures. A couple of years ago a student writer at my high school wrote an article about the academic achievement gap between Asian students and Hispanic students. It was very controversial, and I did not bring this up to hurt any feelings or to offend anybody, but I think that most people who read the article, even those who protested it, knew that the content is true. Some said that printing an article like that is not going to help anybody, but I think it really brought to light underlying issues in schools. To relate this to the original post - I think that the scene described is humorous only because it depicts a generally positive stereotype. No matter what anyone says, there is truth in it. But what if the scene was about a stereotype regarding Hispanic students? I am sure most of us could think of some. It would not be so amusing then.</p>
<p>Some posters brought up the point that Asian parents may value academics too much, and may place too much pressure on their children to succeed academically. The influence of parents was also stated in the article which I mentioned. Yes, Asian parents sometimes may place too much emphasis on good grades and rankings, and I think that is because that is all they focused on when they were students. It may be hard for them to understand that in the United States, people strive to be more well-rounded. Parents also push their children to go to college, because not all of them were so lucky to have been given the chance to go to college. I think that personally, my parents just do not want me to be at a disadvantage. They want me to be on par with or above other students. But they were never overboard. They really encouraged me to get good grades, but they did not punish me when I did not do so well. They enrolled me in Chinese School weekend classes for about seven years, and I did not like it at first, but as I get older, I am so grateful, because not only was I able to test out of foreign language course requirements, I now understand more languages and dialects than most people I know. And even though we are not financially well off at all, I have also taken swimming and piano lessons. I think that for most of the Asian students I know, they appreciate the influence from their parents. Hardly anyone I know make decisions based entirely on what their parents want. I am currently a Psychology major, and my mom suggested that some other majors may be more practical, and an uncle even randomly told me to switch to doing something with finances, but no way would I change my major. I think that some people think that Asian parents have all the say regarding their children’s academic decisions, but I have friends who applied to and are attending top tier universities because they want to, not to appease their parents.</p>
<p>I know that the original poster did not create this thread to offend anybody, but I think that there are a lot of things that we just do not comprehend about each other.</p>
<p>Of course, there are parents who go overboard. Again, this has to do with attitudes. Completely uprooting yourself and moving, living, working in a strange country is not easy. Western attitudes are 360 degrees different from the Asian way of thinking. So, it takes at least 10 years to feel comfortable in a new place; comfortable with the place, thinking, behavior patterns of the majority. It is an intense emotional and psychological change/hardship even for people with a college degree and a decent knowledge of the English language. Many Asian parents do not want their children to experience the same trauma and struggle they had to go through to come to the the top in a strange land. This is one of the reasons for forcing their children to get As and also forcing them to get to name brand schools. Many of them, with foreign degrees, had to struggle a lot to get to the top of their professions. The thinking is, if their children get into name brand schools, they will not suffer to get to the top they way they had to when they came to this country. Many parents, in their zest to push their children, forget that their children are not Indian/chinese/korean but people of Indian/chinese/korean origin (American hyphenated or otherwise in their birth, values, and experiences) and these children cannot sympathize/empathize with their parents’ struggles. It will probably take another generation before things settle down.</p>
<p>Hunt, there is nothing sad about not giving the person the opportunity to become the potential Picasso. But, you can take art lessons in your free time and work on it in your free time to become that Picasso. Once you become that Picasso you can give up your job. Can you become a doctor in your free time?</p>
<p>Again, as the other poster mentioned, many Asian children are thankful to their parents after they are fully grown and out on their own. Not all but many are.</p>