@swimcatsmom: Remember the name of this thread!
The good news is that you’re doing it. The better news is that you’re actually making progress.
If you think it will give you a boost to have one room completed, then do that. My recommendation is not to start with the kitchen but instead to focus on a bedroom – not the master, but one of the kids’ old rooms or a guest room.
About that - the kid’s old rooms are the 2nd worst rooms in the house after the Den. They just became places where I could move stuff out of the living room to make it a little more habitable. No, make that the 3rd worst after the room that used to be my sewing room before it became just another place to store Junk. I know I have some sewing projects in there somewhere that I haven’t seen in years (a rather nice half finished Eagle wall quilt comes to mind). The master bedroom is probably the most doable really which is why I was thinking of focusing on that. The main living room is not as awful as some of the spaces because I’ve tried somewhat to make it bearable - by moving the junk to other rooms I don’t have to be in every day (kid’s bedrooms).
I’m going to try and fill a bag tonight. It’s kind of like exercising - when I get in the habit of doing it I feel so much better and wonder why I eve get out of the habit, but then it is so easy to miss a few days and get out of the habit.
Thanks for all the encouragement. I need to not let myself be discouraged. It’s just been a lot of hauling bags already and it has hardly made a dent.
You really are doing an admirable job, @swimcatsmom. Like someone said, a bag at a time!
This past weekend it was all hands on deck with one daughter flying home and another driving down to help as our deadline for getting everything out of the house for the remodel looms. Big box of books to the library, 4 big bags of clothing and a sleeping bag for the homeless, and about 8 bags to goodwill. I had also scheduled a “big pick up” from our trash company and they took away (almost) the max I was permitted: one piece of furniture, one piece of electronic equipment and 8 (was entitled to 12) extra bags. So happy all of it is gone. Dh became motivated since we have to store some things ‘under the house’ which was very full. He cleared about about 2/3 of what was there. It was all so cathartic! The POD/storage unit arrives tomorrow and that will be when I can REALLY feel it in that all the boxes we’ve packed of things we plan to keep are cluttering almost every room and the entry hall. Can’t wait to get those things OUT of the house. We really purged a lot and I’m really pleased.
Not sure this is the right thread for this but one disappointing thing from yesterday: D1 was featured prominently in a photo on a big day on her campus when she was a senior. The picture was then featured in a book that her U published. We bought the book and it was on the shelf that she went through this weekend. In all of the probably 100+ books on the unit, it somehow got wet and she found black mold on the book. We snapped a picture of the page she was on and disposed of it. But some black mold was on the shelf and at the point where the shelf met the vertical part (back) of the unit. I got out the lysol and wiped it all down but how would I know if that’s sufficient? And can I just vent for a moment about how disappointing it was that that one book out of all the books in the whole unit was the only one impacted?!
So sorry to hear about the book. Perhaps you can contact the school and see if they have another one in storage somewhere.
Lysol will not do. You need bleach to get rid of mold.
I can only imagine how disappointing that is @collage1 . Like techmon99 said - try the school. If they have one I’m sure they’d be happy to sell it to you.
Wow @collage1 - you had a VERY productive weekend. That’s just amazing!
@swimcatsmom: Start with the sewing room. That’s your room, and you should have a lovely place to do your hobby and to chill. You deserve it.
The sewing room is literally ceiling high packed with stuff. My plan once I get to the kitchen area is to lay out every piece of kitchen equipment and go through an purge the multiples. My husband would bring home stuff from his parents when his sister was trying to declutter their place - my MIL had cupboards full of inherited cooking stuff. Some of it I actually do use (like the old lemon squeezer that was his grandma’s that I love - best thing for squeezing lemons and limes for margaritas - Grandma was very religious and anti alcohol so we have a little smile about that) - actually I think that is the whole of the some that I use. Most are duplicates/multiples of what we have or stuff I don’t use. A lot of stuff in the sewing room is kitchen stuff. I’m hoping once I lay it all out and he sees we have 10 or 20 pie pans he will be willing to donate some of them. SO the sewing room is going to have to wait a while.
I did manage a bag for the trash pick up this morning so I am happy about that. I have cleared 2-3 of the crazy deep shelves in the 2nd bathroom. My shark stick vac was great for vacuuming off the shelves.We are hoping to get that room fixed up this year so getting it all cleared out is a good start.
And the huge hallway closet is about cleared except for going through some of the shelves. I really would like to paint it before I move the vacuums etc. that we actually use into it though. Don’t have time for painting right now.
Ugh. I can’t believe how bad I let this get. It never seemed worth an argument so I just shoved things out of sight. The good thing is my husband had not said a word - even about the cat litter containers. He even tried to do some cleaning out in my son’s old room. But he is not ruthless and he is very limited physically. But not second guessing me is a great stat.
Sounds like he’s already on board. But you’re going to have to steer this ship.
Yes, he does seem to be on board thankfully. Or at least not going through the trash and rescuing stuff - not that I really give him a chance to. Just wish he had got on board while he was able to physically help. I’m no spring chicken myself (about to be eligible for Medicare in 6 weeks - woot!) and it is hard work!
He is using a walker most of the time now and I think a wheelchair or scooter is not far off. He suddenly finds himself in the same boat as his Dad was - pretty hard to maneuver round the house with a walker or wheelchair when there are just narrow paths (and his space, the large den, is the worst). He thought it was awful his Dad was in that situation - the difference was it was his Mom that was the hoarder. In this case he is the one.
I think the outside will be something I will pay someone to do.
Edited to add. Just wanted to clarify - my husband is really a nice guy - kind hearted and will do anything for anyone. I love him to bits. Puts up with a lot from me. But this is one area we have butted heads on for years. I could kind of understand his Mom - the whole depression era thing. Never have understood why he is like this and why he would get so cross when I tried to get rid of things. He really is pretty even tempered - except about this one thing!
You are doing an amazing job, @swimcatsmom. Sounds like you’re plugging away and are able to appreciate whatever dent you’re able to make. I remember cleaning out my (hoarder) dad’s apartment those first two days and I just had to recognize that getting anything out was progress. And I’m glad your dh isn’t fighting you or rescuing items. Any chance you have a kid or two or even a friend or two that would come in and help for a day or session? I know if I had a friend in this situation, I’d be happy to do a stint to help.
And thanks to everyone for the support regarding the book. I realize that we tossed it without taking a picture of the front so I don’t even know the name of the book. I’ll text D1 and see if she remembers it.
I’m hoping maybe my daughter might help during the summer. She and her husband (then fiancé) actually cleared out a space in the garage 7 years ago when I got a new car. They were in college and had no money so did it as a birthday present for me (I have had 2 cars totaled from hail damage). Best present ever. They did it while we were visiting my son in SC - H about had a stroke on the trip home when he realized what they had done. She is finishing up her masters in teaching so may be available to help in the summer unless she gets a summer job before school starts. I know she and my son are already dreading the day they will have to deal with it so hoping she will be on board with helping now. It took my sister in law 2 years to get their parents’ place cleared out. I don’t want my kids to go through that.
My boss’s wife offered to help. She also knows where to rent things like dumpsters. I think that will be what we will need once we get to the garage. It is a 3 car garage and we could just fit the little car in after the kids cleared a space for me. I was able to park my car there till recently when the garage door broke - we need to get it fixed. Currently the space is filled with cardboard to go to the recycling place - where the heck did it all come from! It seriously takes up the space of a car. H has actually been moving it from the den to the garage and says he will recycle it. Progress!
I just got a new Honda CRV in December and it is getting to that time of year weatherwise - need to get that stuff out of there and get the door fixed so my car has a safe place.
Oh, I found another thing I actually like that has been buried. A woven wall hanging we bought when we lived in Egypt. I am being very ruthless about throwing things out but have found 2-3 things I am excited to find and use.
@swimcatsmom I am so impressed by you and what you have done. I can tell that your outlook and tenacity has changed so much during your time on this thread - keep going - sounds like your H is on board and maybe,he is even appreciative.
Does he bake pies? If not don’t ask him about the pie pans. keep four and let go of the rest and do not
even think about it.
I think you are doing great.
Maybe overthinking his role in this cleaning up now? I have found just not talking about it was something
I had to learn.
Thankfully none in our family tucks money away in books or other places. My parents had a floor safe but mostly kept important papers in it. Mom liked using her jewelry and keep it more handy.
H’s bachelor uncle had a pretty nice hunting jacket that H was given. It had enough cash in the pocket for the family to have a lunch together and reminisce about his uncle.
Good for you @swimcatsmom to be at ‘the next stage’ of life, and getting the house tidy to enjoy. Seeing success can be very motivating, and do take breaks w/o losing momentum!
She has some good points:
https://www.seattletimes.com/explore/nwhomes/7-steps-for-designing-a-feel-good-home/
Hint. Less is more! Plants are good! Wide passages are good! Color is uplifting (as long as it is not the avocado green appliances you always wanted to get rid of). 
Mr. tossed every single old garage light we took down before residing. The new lights are sealed and will lot crud up with dead bugs on the inside.
That’s an interesting article. I like how she investigated what made certain spaces in her home more comfortable for her. I would never have thought to do that. Definitely agree with wide passages are good! One day!
I managed 3 bags this week. Was just 2 but I filled up another one and put it out for pickup this morning. I am surprised and annoyed by the black trash sacks and how easily they rip. I have to keep double bagging!
@oregon101 He bakes maybe a pie or 2 a year. The laying the kitchen stuff all out and sorting it is as much for me as anything so I can see what we have. Part of the problem with having so much clutter is I can never find anything so sometimes I just go and buy another of something rather than spend days looking for it which of course then adds to the clutter. Hopefully that will be remedied. He doesn’t really have a role in the cleanup at present and I am not saying anything about it (the good thing is he isn’t either which is actually huge progress!). I’m just getting on with it myself. I do have hopes that maybe he will contribute in some way even if it is just taking the piles of cardboard to recycling (and maybe the several bags of clothes I bagged and listed a couple of years ago or more to goodwill). I work so it would be helpful if he does things like that that have to be done in my working hours. I’ve recently started going to the gym with 2 workmates in my lunch hour to walk (and use the hydro massage bed - bliss) - I would rather be able to keep doing that than have to go to the recycling center. It would also make a big visual impact if those things were gone which would help my mindset to feel progress is being made.
I attempted to get rid of the last of the cat litter containers from in front of the garage with this morning’s trash. They are stacked in each other and the top one had some copper wire or something so I attempted to take it out of the others so I could throw the others away. They are so brittle from being out in the elements for years that the edges just broke. It was raining and I was late for work so I had to leave that little self set goal for today unaccomplished :(. I am determined they will be gone by next week.
@swimcatsmom: You are making great progress. I know it doesn’t feel huge yet, but you’ve changed your mindset, and that is probably the most important thing!