@swimcatsmom: Contractor’s bags are bigger, thicker and won’t need to be double bagged.
@swimcatsmom - even the pyramids of Egypt were built stone by stone. You are doing great. Even if you have not taken the litter pails out, you have that pile on your radar and in the crosshairs. There is no escape route for them other than in the trash!
I like Costco brand garbage bags. They are tough as nails.
where would I find contractor’s bags? (I don’t have a Costco nearby)
@swimcatsmom - online? Or a Home Depot/Lowes whatever.
In addition to HD/Lowe’s, Walmart and Target also carry contractor trash bags.
H and I organized the storage room again. There is now a large amount waiting for pick up tomorrow.
swimcatsmom, you are doing awesome. Do you have a Vietnam Vet organization near you?
We leave our stuff on the front porch for pick up. This is not the junk though but it helps when there are
a lot of donations.
I don’t think we have a Vietnam Vet organization.
When I got home from work last night (at 10 pm) H asked me if I had thrown away this old faded tin can that was sitting outside. I had (there was an empty space in my trash bag). Turns out it was something of his grandmothers. I had no idea and would not have thrown it away if I had. But I find I am torn between being partly sad that I threw away something that had sentimental value for him but actually more annoyed that something that had such sentimental value was sitting out there in the elements along with all the other trash. Honestly, if he would help even a little then it wouldn’t have happened.
I probably sound like a witch with a B.
No, you don’t sound like a witch with a B.
I’ll say what I always said to my kids, when they were little: If your H can’t take proper care of his things, he doesn’t deserve to own them. Unless he puts away and cares for his valuable things, you have absolutely no way of knowing they are valuable. Obviously you wouldn’t go into his desk or dresser drawers and start throwing things away. But I think something that is faded and has been sitting outside for goodness knows how long is fair game. The only reasonable conclusion about the object is that it’s garbage.
If I were you, I would apologize for throwing out something of his that he valued, but I would also politely and gently suggest that he put his valuable things in special places where you promise not to tread.
+1, VeryHappy. 
swimcatsmom: One of my sisters is a hoarder. I don’t think you’re a witch. I think you’re a Saint. And I’m impressed with all your cleaning out accomplishments.
You are amazing!
Look at your sentence again:
H asked me if I had thrown away this old faded tin can that was sitting outside.
Key words: Old. Faded. TIN CAN. Outside (where tin cans can rust - how valuable can it be!!)
Most of us would have done the same thing. +2 to Very Happy.
“Key words: Old. Faded. TIN CAN. Outside (where tin cans can rust - how valuable can it be!!)”
Yes!!! I would have done the same. The value of that can is purely sentimental, and only to your husband. And likely only in hindsight. And the truth is that he can’t take it with him where we all are ultimately heading, and no one else would want it or need it because no one else is even remotely emotionally attached to it. Dont beat yourself over it.
Thanks all - you are way cheaper than therapy.
This is where I would probably have thrown my hands up and given up in the past. Not going to this time.
He wasn’t mad or anything. Just a little sad. But my feeling was the same as you have all expressed - if it meant something why was it not inside somewhere (cause there’s no space for it with all the meaningless junk in the house is the answer to that but I won’t go there).
Then he needs to eliminate the inside crap that’s just crap so he can make room inside for the “valuables.”
You can’t successfully reason with a hoarder. imho
Sometimes we can take actions to protect them from themselves, but they will be sad or angry at the intervention, in my experience.
You are doing an amazing job, @swimcatsmom. I’m sorry about the tin can but echo what others have said. And, truly, you are a SAINT. This is hard work and you are making it happen!
We just finished the big ‘empty the house’ project. Remodel starts tomorrow and we also leave on a 3 week trip. Every closet had to be emptied and the amount that ended up being donated, given away through other means or thrown away was pretty massive. H bought the least expensive big black trash bags too and I agree that they were worthless. All had to be double bagged because the smallest pressure resulted in a tear. @swimcatsmom, if you’re not going to be by a store that has the more durable type, perhaps you can just order some on Amazon and they’ll blissfully just show up on your doorstep.
@collage1 You’ve more than earned that 3 week trip! Enjoy and relax.
Aw, thanks, @doschicos. We’re going on my bucket list trip and I’m incredibly excited
Been reading this thread and others a long time, but just joined so that I can post a couple of thoughts which might be of use to others. Back in 2010, my beloved H was diagnosed w/cancer, and while this house was the 3rd we’d lived in since we’d met, it had become a pre-hoarder’s house. Clutter out of hand, and basement same condition. When we got the scope of what would be involved in treatment and seriousness (Stage 2-3, etc.), my immediate fear was that there was no place in the entire first floor where I could put a hospital bed, if he got to the point where he couldnt walk up the stairs.
So - I told him I was clearing out space in basement to move things down there as needed in case we needed a hospital bed on a temp basis, and he was very concerned about my tossing anything of importance to him. What I proposed I’d do was I’d carry up everything that I wanted to get rid of, and would lay everything out on the front lawn. Then, he could review it all. I promised if there was anything he wanted to keep, I’d take it back to the basement, and he was OK with that.
First lawn full, he kept a couple of items with sentimental value, not big. I got two carloads up to the dump this way. Most of what I removed was duplicates of equipment, useless paper/ephemera, coffee pots, fans, AC unit (one of several, didnt need that many), a vacuum cleaner (we had 3, got rid of 1), etc. It was largely thinning out things we had no need for. But, doing it this way gave him control over the matter, and spared him having to get up/down stairs, etc. when he didn’t have the energy.
Were I to try this today, it wouldn’t work well, as it’s now a hoarder’s house - but reading this thread has motivated me to try again, and start clearing crap out. He came through treatment OK, but ensuing health trouble since then has meant less energy to fix damaged furniture/equipment he’s brought home from garage sales with that purpose in mind. More unfinished projects, which I know will never get done. And he has 10 years on me, so I don’t want to be left with this house (in its present state) if he goes before me. So will try to start clearing out now - anything removed is progress, even if it isn’t all what I want to get rid of…!
Sounds like a challenge! We are behind you. You’re right – anything removed is progress. Just remember that Rome wasn’t built in a day.